agua fanta cervesa beer?

I'll miss,

cádiz. playa de la caleta. residencia homies. sneaking in wine & hiding it in the sock drawer. harriet from san diego. playing shoulders in irish pubs. talking to people on skype when they were 5 feet away. saying everything was money. hillary. mateo. travis. ryan. katie. when travis would blow smoke in my left eye. trashy punta discotecas. blacklight bar. yupi. carnie families with prositute children. green shorts man. el aljibe. strangers in the night singer. colorful beads. helado en plaza mina. researching religion at the sex shop. odette "soy negro adentro". bad dubbing. pelatazos. fried everything. macarena. Inma. antonio. thongs on toddlers. making friends with a valencian music troupe. woodstocks. peter's poetry. missing the train. plotting hillary's murder. "I don't know, I've never been on a bus" worst taxi ride ever. fucking SB.
ILP. hillary speaking spanish for a month, me answering in english. dancing to call on me. singing to angie. hiding absolut in our dorm safe. getting insanely sick. Mr. Bean's Holiday. punching a pitcher of sangria. steve visiting. working facilities. ramon-crazy security guard. shoko. catwalk. up & down. ratatat. creepy apartments. stung by jellyfish at barceloneta. tossa de mar. fat lady kills small bf. la ciudad de sylvia. rhianna. umbrella. chorizo 24//7.
grácia. isabel teaching me via noise how to clean. dogs are people. home-recorded television. carlos with large hair. LA MERCE. constant inebriation. corre foc. forum. squishing man at ruins then again at Dalí museum. drinking out of decanters like beer bongs. crazy naked DiR folk. LA GRANJA. stars wars fight with karls. pujol pig pictures. asturies 9. ross. marc. mammoth. yael. learning la diferencia sexual. the man that played "here comes the sun". karli getting robbed but not. ONCE. fc barca game. parents visit. navidades. anna & nicole visit. hillary's mom is beer colored? ross eats mayo off table. house obsession begins. elections. PSOE. Zapatero. candy throwing. running over a dog. octavio. bullfight. Jose Tomás. absinthe bar. Sant Joan. falling on escalator. meeting the world. singing with swedes. stealing the goods from peruvians. EUROCUP.
viajes. amsterdam. a blurr. jim's wake&bake. BAGELS. ximena playin with cat. "amsterdam is like a hand". rasta coffeeshops hating on me. "i just want to make you happy!" people offering you heroin. british businessmen. lisboa. cutting marc's hair. gay hostel. pictures of grace kelly. bottomless condoms. sunset bar. peg-leg direction man that uses sanrio stationary. pasteles de belém. scary interactive theatre. port. CABRITE. haunted fado house. madrid. wigs. fergilicious dance off. trojan balloons. marc lost the rapist glove. granada. my mom. gay b&b. brokeback mtn overload. azn food. alhambra. gettin lost in parque de la ciencias. sevilla y cádiz . nazi hostel guy. honey haters. yael is screwed. azn in my bed. carnaval. spider/snake bite. cowboy lounging. dublin. near-kidnapping. leprechan hotel workers. starvation. paradise hotel. bubble bath extravaganza. bagels galore. McCafe. Guiness factory for 7 hrs. hillary in male form (but she's hotter). small irish friends that like my red runners. john wayne. sebastiano aka seabass. my name is brazilian. bilbao. hotel bilbi. don't turn right. old people. horse pictures. mental meltdown. cig burns. questionable hair. house in spanish. azn man playing music on computer for us. order water, get non-alchoholic beer. vodkacran. USA, what is that? guggenheim for 8 hrs. roma. tierney. heidi. sight-seeing. gelato. stress ball aka miss italia. praha. yael's antics. belly button fondling. lots of commies. raindrops- head size. paddle boats. william & harry. cocktails at banditos for 5 hrs. austria/czech/hungary. mom. lost things. lots of walking. sacher tort. cleanliness. too many coins. huge beers. weird idiomas.





home.

airplanes.

Forget to add,
So I took SkyEurope home from Vienna on Monday. This was also a bad decision because it was delayed an hour. My mom told me when she left that there was a bus strike and to take a train and also give myself an extra hr. Well I usually get there 2 hrs early, so i was like 3 hrs...really? and she's like YES. So I wake up at 630am, get to the airport at 730am. Somehow in 30 min I walked to the metro, switched to the train and got there successfully. I can't check in til 930am. It was horrific. I decide "hey why don't you buy a magazine" since I gave all things readable to my mother. I go in and mags are 2.20 euro, not bad. Go to english section, 8EURO. I'm like 10 bucks!? so fuck that. I decide to sit on a bench and people watch for 2 hrs, documenting their every move. It wasn't very exciting. It involved a lot of eating, nose-picking, bickering and weird hair.
On the flight I realized I was really fucking hungry because I had been waiting for like 5 HOURS to get on this freaking plane. However, nothing on the menu looked good. All they had were salami and cheese sandwiches and coffee. As I'm contemplating buying a snack, a small bag of crackers hits me in the face then lodges down the top of my shirt. It takes me a second to realize what the hell just happened but by that time a flight attendant and the woman next to me are both reaching at my boobs. The lady (in her sexy slovakian accent) said since it flew at my face, that it was free. Then she was like "anything else?" She seemed disapointed but ....really?
Moral of the story: don't fly. stick to 400 hr train rides. I really think they should make one that goes under the atlantic. if it takes 7 hrs to get to ny from madrid then a train would take what....30? thats not bad. you get a sleeper car, they could have a treadmill car. it'd be great.

Buddists

Budapest, Hungary
On the 7 hr train from Prague we met this korean lady who wanted to practice her english. My mom kept saying YOU CAN BE MY KOREAN PENPAL. I think the korean lady thought penpal was something weird or vulgar because she always looked slightly confused. As good, extremely interesting Americans- we taught her how to talk about the weather and right wing politics. We explained the concept of humidity and Mom expressed her feelings about Bush and Monica Lewinsky. She almost went into detail on the latter which would have been the most disturbing lost-in-translation conversation ever. So thank god that didn't happen. The korean lady had a small boy thats like 3 yrs old. He kept asking me to draw cars. I think I drew like 100. Then he asked me to draw a train. I think car is mpaaa? and train is ditaa? I have no clue but if you know my drawing skills, then you know I definitely sacrificed my dignity for this miniature person.
Our hostel in Budapest was really nice and had about a million rules, for example: no throwing objects out windows at cars, no taking food or alcohol from restaurant to room, no windows open after 10pm....etc. Nope, this country was never communist. We discovered Budapest has REALLY good food and it's cheap. We found this italian place 2 doors down and my mom was obsessed and decided she'd be okay if we ate there every night. I swear, my mom used to say that me and my dad are creatures of habit but they are worse. Whenever we travel they find one place (cafe, restaurant, store) and that's the only one they want to go to. I'm like come on Mom, lets walk around. Well the 2nd night I convince her to go to this restuarant my lonely planet recommended and she was stoked. It was such a rad restaurant. It was kinda like 70s silverlake decor/Todd Oldham designs if he had 30k to spend. It was on this beautiful street where they all had terraces outside. So the street was only pedestrian. It had a tiny pathway that went between trees. All the restaurants had beautiful outdoor lighting and it was like we stumbled upon some fairy land place.
For 18 euro ($28) we had:
- Champagne
- Duck in a mango/rasberry sauce with potatoes
- Garlic Soup with Hungarian fried bread
- Waffle covered in chocolate mouse with rasberries and black currents (um, OMG)

I wish I took pictures of the food but my arm decided it was over carrying around my 20lb nikon on like day 5 so I got kinda lazy. I think my mom has a couple.
When we get home Mom realizes she can't find her passport or mastercard. SO unfortunately, our last full day she spends at the police station and US consulate. I decide to walk around and see things she might not want to. I walked around Pest, which is the more urban part and has more stuff. Buda is more historical, pretty side- with castles and a few museums. But other than that it's kinda boring and I actually found that Pest was really cool too. I went to the Terror Haza which was the headquarters of the secret police during the time when Hungary was occupied by the Nazis and later the Soviets. It was pretty creepy and haunting but also really fascinating. The Nazi's put the Arrow Cross party in power (which was basically their version of the National Socialists) and they sent large numbers of Hungarians to concentration camps. Hungary lost approx. 550,000 people during the Holocaust, more than any other country. When the Soviets came, much didn't change. The gulag work-camps basically were the new concetration camp. We did a "Hammer and Sickle tour", our tour guide who was about 31 yrs old, remembers being a pioneer and showed us documents, communist passports and other stuff from the era. It's really freaky to think this was still going on up until the 90s. Also, we didn't know that Hungary used to be one of the largest countries in Europe. It was the shape of a mushroom, extending from the Czech Republic (Czechoslokia), into Slovakia and all the way to Greece. During the war they lost 2/3's of their empire.
I met up with my mom afterwards and we went to the famous Gallert Spa. It was really beautiful but I swear the mineral water pool had like voodoo chemicals in it because my stomach has felt really odd ever since. We also each got a 1 hr massage for 40 euro. I'll miss cheap stuff. For some reason Spa's are so expensive in the US. I don't get it.

things we saw in Budapest:
- Buda: Castle Hill, Gallert Spa & Hotel
- Pest: Octagon, Menza restaurant, Andrassy Utca (main st), Parlament, Danube river, Terror Haza

WEINer weiner

Well I just got back yesterday from traveling 10 days with my mother. It had its ups and downs but overall was a great trip and we saw a lot. I don't think my mom knew what we were capable of. My mind is kinda a mishmash of memories so I'm just gonna put down what I remember or find amusing from each place.

Wien (or Vienna as us english people so illogically call it)
Getting to the airport was a betch. I took the train to the airport. The platform to get on it is kinda high and this german lady that was morbidly obese couldn't get on. But it's not like she looked at it and thought "hmm I'm gonna need help". No she lunged at it and got half way on as the conducter is beeping to close the doors. I'm like OH MY GOD. So she has half her body on and eventually some guys push her legs up. But then she can't get up on her legs. I felt so bad for her. it was absolutely horrible. And me being the 5'5, weak, small-muscled, incomptant person I am- I could do absolutely nothing but to point at men to help her.

I took this budget Hungarian airline called SkyEurope. Worst decision of my life. My 2 hr flight was delayed 2 hrs. I think I could have arrived by train quicker. The checkin line was like in a corner so the line created this weird L shape. Everyone was cutting and me and this slovakian lady were getting kinda annoyed. I mean I wasn't gonna punch anyone but I was just like come on, stop being rude. So this asian lady walks in front of me and I'm like "hey the back of the line is over there" but I said it really politely ya know. She's like "oh no, I'm going over there". I'm like OH YEAH? YOU'RE GOIN TO MEXICO? right. so 10 minutes later I notice she's 1 ahead of me. I'm like wtf. She obviously felt awkward so I decided just to make it more awkward. I get claustrophobic but I'm actually fine with close contact with people. Like being close to another person isn't weird, its just being close to 100 in a small room or elevator. I realize a lot of people don't like this (especially asians) so I decide to stand extremely close, practically touching her entire side. Then when I move my bag around I "accidently" run over her foot like 5 times. She moved and got in another line. I felt better.
I arrive at the hostel and my mom is already there. She immediately relates this story of how she changed her underwear (don't ask me) and I guess she left the old underwear in her PANTS (once again, don't ask me) and didn't realize this. So she had a huge bulge in her ass. She's waiting to use the common toilet. These german boys that were ahead of her see this bulge and immediately say YOU FIRST, YOU FIRST. She thought this was hilarious, I was slightly mortified.
Our hostel was really cute. It's more like a B&B. It's owned by an expat couple that are in their 60's. They have a really nice bar, courtyard and its located in a residential area. We went to the bar one night and these spanish guys were drunk and singing. My mom really wanted to take pictures of them but I said its kinda weird to take pictures of drunk people, especially when they are 5 feet away and you are using FLASH.
The next day we get one of those awful tour buses that I hate but I figured whatever, if it makes mom happy. However we only went on it like once, to go to the Schönbrunn palace. She misread the next pick-up time. We take a cab to the next pick-up only to fall asleep on the bus so we paid about 15 euro for a nap. The palace was really beautiful though. I loved the gardens. It's bright yellow (my favorite color) and looks gorgeous with all the trees and flowers. It's insanely ostentacious though and it's crazy to think people actually LIVED there. It made me think of Marie Antionette and now I really want to watch the movie again.

Things we saw in Vienna:
- Ringstrasse (main circle)
- Schönbrunn palace & gardens
- Kaiser Apartments & Sisi museum at Hofburg Palace
- Sacher Cafe & Hotel
- Statsoper
- Opera/music of Mozart & Strauss/ballet at Borse Palais
- Volksgarten, Burggarten
- Stadtpark
- Belevadere museum (Klimt exhibit)

where in the world is mary jo?

Well Ive been gone for a while now. i dont really keep track of time so i donno. its been a while since i havent spoken broken english to look less foreign.
please excuse my lack of punctuation and lazyness. apparently hungarians like to move all the freaking letters around so its virtually impossible to type. z is where y is!!! wtfffffff.
ill talk about where weve gone in more depth later but id like to share with u some memorable quotes from mary jo. when she starts to get on my nerves i just start transcribing what she says. she is marked by the hyphen.
one day in prague:
- doesnt everyone use the dollar sign?
no
-spain does.
no, it doesnt.
- oh ya, youre right.

they went skiing in andorra.
-is that in switzerland or what?
no its a country
- ya but is it switzerland or what

- joanna, you know trees can hipnotize you.

In budapest she just continued to be a little less than politically correct.
(points at communist star)- is that the star of david or what?

-is hungary like german (not germany)? like no speed limits?
no hungary has speed limits...

- (asks 30 yr old tour guide) so were you alive during communism?
mom, the wall fell in 1990. i was alive.
- i dont know! maybe shes 18 or 19.

however my mom has had a bout of badluck. she lost her passport yesterday and has had to become cuddly with buda bureaucrats. hopefully itll get sorted out today. more later.

bones festes.

So today is the catholic holiday of sant joan aka san juan aka st john. While some saint's days mark higher church attendence, Sant Joan means fire. It's kind of like 4th of July if fireworks were completely legal, encouraged and sold to children like candy. For the last week my eardrums have found solace in the underbelly of my pillow as children find it imperative to throw miniature grenades at the ground starting at 7am. oh the excitement.
The BCN Sant Joan site explains the cultural implications of Sant Joan. I wasn't able to wake up and cover myself in the refreshing morning's first dew or moist myself in the ocean waters. Nor did I catch old furniture on fire or decorate my house with trumpets. The one I found most confusing was the coca. Coca is also cocaine in spanish. I wouldn't be surprised if narcotics were the treat of choice in Spain considering the former directions for observing the holy. I learned that coca is some sugary pastry with weird fruit in it.


I also learned some cool frases on the site:
-"Whom lights fire for St. John will not burn themselves for the whole year." ( Burned my foot, does that count?)
-"The herbs of St. John have virtues all year." (could never be misinterpreted)
-"In St. John's bath you have health all year."(1 bath a yr?)
-"Sangria for St. John, health all year."(I concur)


Last night we decided to have dinner together at Marc's and then head out to the beach at barceloneta to see fireworks and do some BCN lovin. We had to pack like sardines in the metro and I'm pretty sure I accidentally fondled around 20 people. No wallets though. I thought it'd be HILARIOUS since there were so many people on the escalator to go up the reverse one (like its hard...). Me and Haley get all the way to the top and I'm stoked. I'm like hell yes, you guys are idiots. As I'm getting off, which is the most difficult part, I eat SHIT. Fall flat on my face. well not really my face, more like belly. I think half of Catalunya saw my ass but maybe I can say it's a goodbye gift. I have some cool skin missing to show for it but amazingly it was pretty painless. Anyways, somehow we kinda got separated at the beach. Me, Deja and Haley decided we were gonna have the most fun EVER and talk to like every person we met. I think we made friends/enemies with every possible country. France, Sweden, Switzerland, Italy, Spain and some guy from Minneapolis that studied in Russia. I decided the latter was "a total catch" but Haley advised me that he attended University of North Dakota which obviously means we can never speak again.
I'll put pics I found from the BCN site since I didn't bring a camera thinking someone might want to catch it on fire or throw it in the ocean.

future plans.

Ok so I was just thinking today. Okay correction, right now. How if I was rich probably the first thing I would do would be to hire someone to wash my face and brush my teeth. Really though. How much does it SUCK when you get home at night and all you wanna do is get naked and jump in bed and you realize NOOOO you have to walk on that cold tile, splash your face with tepid water until all warm/sleepiness is pushed out of you and then take a large plastic instrument covered in plastic bristles and move it all around your mouth prefereably up & down, apparently side to side is for douches (for 2 minutes- doctor recommended). I would also pay this person to give me pre-bed massages and maybe lull me to sleep with the sounds of a guitar...played by Johnny Depp. So I'll know I've made it when JD is brushing my teeth. The rich have it well.

who in the hell is MONICA?

So I'm sitting by Sagrada Familia enjoying a nice pizza with Katie and Ryan when I get a phone call.
me: [translated from spanish] hello
"hello, Monica?
- um no, you're mistaken.
"is Monica there?"
- no, you dialed wrong.
"is she not there? when will she be back?
- no, there is no Monica.
"can I talk to Monica?"
"Is Monica out?"
[I hang up]

About 5 minutes later I get another call, guess who it is?
-hello
"hello, can I speak to Monica?"
- YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
"excuse me?"
- WRONG NUMBER.
"I can't hear you."
-WRONGGGGGG NUMBERRRRR
"Is this Spain?"
- yes.
"Oh okay. Is Monica there?"
- YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER THERE IS NO MONICA GOODBYE.

I should have just given the phone to Ryan and she could have pretended to be Monica and agree to be this lady's surrogate mother or kidney doner or whatever the fuck was so dire to call the SAME WRONG NUMBER...TWICE. So if you know Monica, the Monica that lives in Spain. Give her a call, her friend needs her.

framed fruit anyone?

So after taking a bazillion pictures this last wk I realized that the more I take, the better I get. wow, weird? Lookin around on flickr I noticed one of their affiliates offers you to sell your pictures online. It's easy, I get paid the mark-up % that I chose and a gallery of 24 images is free. Here's the link and if you know anyone interested let me know. They're mostly still-life. I'm still amateur but I figured what the hell. Maybe someone really wants some postcards with door knockers on them. You know you do.
http://joannaclay.imagekind.com/

the brave coast.

Yesterday we had an excursion to La Costa Brava. Heidi was still in town so I brought her along. Our excursions usually include a stop in a place no one would ever pay to see and then a fantastic meal in a good restaurant. I go for the meal. On the way we stop in some city where all the houses are made of stone and anything non-stony is not allowed. harsh laws. After walking around aimlessly admiring the rockmanship we decide to just get some drinks and chill until it's bus time. Apparently this was a smart idea because about 12 ppl from our program (including our directors) sit at tables next to us. Also the town smells like poo. I almost stepped in some 3 different occasions and saw a manure truck drive by carrying the most shit vehicular-ly possible.


We had our 3 course meal at this gorgeous beach on the coast. The water was this bright blue and I was so sad I didn't bring my swimsuit. I also think underwear should be waterproof, sheer never really will work to your advantage. The lunch wasn't as boozy as usual because they didn't give us WINE. no wine. only beer or water. I asked for beer AND water but apparently that's greedy. So I opted for beer of course.
Champagne came later so it was all good. During the paella feast Marc became a crustacean killer eating everyone's crawfish, muscles and clams with a single swift movement of the hand. I'm actually an amazing langostina eater. If you pull the head and tail at same time in the right way you can get it perfect. I got lazy after 1 so I gave the rest to Marc.


After lunch, Ross and Marc wanted to go jump off some rocks. I basically thought it might be the last time I see Ross since it sounded like he was basically ready to jump off rocks into rocks and didn't understand the whole concept of shallow water. However he managed and lived and I have some amazing/awkward pictures to show for it. Ross was kinda like the little kid, cutting himself up and jumping off shit and complaining about blood on his socks. Marc was like the cautious dad/golden retriever sticking his foot/hand in the water to test it. Trying to figure out exact depth and rock proximity. They were really precious and I think I captured their true love/saggy butts.


On the way back we find out this chica in our program stepped on a urchin and the spines broke and got stuck in her foot. OUCH. I'm glad I'm lazy and opt for sitting versus adventuring barefoot into the rocky unknown. Really saves me from injury. She was a cute injured person when we got her at the Red Cross. She was completely fine except for a limp. I would be a little different because I'd be crying and pointing at my foot making moaning noises for hours. Possibly stuck in fetal position. Brave girl.

green fairy.

So I thought I'd take the guests out to this famous absinthe bar in Bcn. It's called Marsella and Picasso hungout there. I like it because they do the whole sugar/spoon/water thing. Pretty legit.
It's in El Raval right by the hooker street so I'm sure the businesses tend to help each other out. Theres old bottles all over the walls covered with dust revealing to the eager patrons that the proprietors don't really give a shit and think it's awesome that it looks so fucking old. I agree. However, I also realize something. I'm allergic to dust.
After sharing about SEVEN cups of absinthe, don't worry- it's watered down and I think Josh drank about 60% of it. I can't really stop sneezing/coughing but it's okay. Absinthe honestly is the weirdest drunk. I swore I could see into the future. I predicted the bartender would disrobe and he took off his jacket like 3 seconds later. After my first time at Marsella I thought I saw a ghost in my room. So I stood up and didn't move and figured that if I didn't move then IT wouldn't move. It was like a stand-off. However the ghost wasn't scary, it was kinda a matter of a fact thing. Like he was casper or something. I think I then kinda forgot about the whole friendly ghost interaction and got in bed. You're also super happy. Like you just wanna not stop smiling. You gotta keep it in moderation though, I've never really gotten like smashed off it. I'd rather not. A kid in a our program did and spent the night in the bushes outside Corte Inglés. But I really don't know why it's illegal. I think some of the shit we drink in the US is way worse. Plus it just tastes like strong Sambuca, probably because it is.

stocks, bonds, brazilians

Tierney, Heidi, Josh and their friend Hannah got here on Tuesday night. I took them to a bar pretty well-known in bcn called "Dow Jones". The drinks are on a ticker, when the market crashes so do the prices and that's when people buy up. For some reason this Brazilian guy starts talking to me. At first I ignore him but then I realize I'm bored. He's harmless so I decide to indulge a porto-spanish conversation. Portuguese speakers are some of the hardest to speak to because they just think spanish is like weird sounding portuguese. So basically they speak to you in portuguese and you answer in español.
The guy was obviously pretty trashed and thought he was pretty important. He asked me if I'd seen Miami Ink. Of course all his awesome tats are done by Chris Nuñez. They know each other because in Brazil "people know each other by the parties they go to" and apparently they go to the same ones. He also filled me in on how he played golf with the guy from Microsoft. Apparently he brought a translator. He then introduced me to his friends, one was kinda cute who he immediately introduced to me as gay. He thought this was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. His friend wasn't stoked. I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's called his friends gay. What a nice guy. His friend is gonna drive his moto and supposedly bring it back. In the meantime the Brazilian decides to buy 3 bags of chips. He opens each bag up completely so all the chips are just laying on a wrapper. He offers each new bag to all of us. The market crashes and he hands me a beer that cost him about .70 cents. These kids studying in Granada notice our accents and come over. I guess the Brazilian gets jealous and starts to tell us how small their "pollas" and "chorizos" are. You can guess what that is. I really thought he was talking about food at first so my face went to super disgust when I realized it. Then I couldn't stop laughing. Man, these Brazilians get weird. A Granada kid comes over and sits next to me at which point the Brazilian starts to tell him I'm a MALA CHICA. I say "obrigado" and we peace. I'm just glad I got to use the one portuguese word I remember.

when in prague, do as the commies do.

So this last wknd I was in Prague with Karli, Adam and Yael. Between Adam and Karli's belly-button fondling ("which is obnoxious but totally ok"-Yael), & Yael's aversion to all things viscous, I don't know how I survived but I did. Actually it was a good group and a good trip. Prague's a pretty cool city. Mala Strana kinda has a french feeling to it with the pastel colored facades but when you walk into the downtown and see the huge concrete buildings you remember that communists aren't big on aesthetics.

Friday.
The first day we got there it started POURING rain about 5 minutes after we decide to leave the hostel. It literally came down in sheets. Luckily I brought an umbrella but my leather flats smelled like czech doody. We spent most of the day walking up ginormous hills and hiding in restaurants. We had a lot of beverages.
We walked all the way up to the castle which made my legs fall off at the end of the night. During the day we saw a lot of Spaniards, all of whom are fantastic at posing in pictures. They like seriously vogue. I tried to pull it off with my shots at the Danube but as Karli pointed out, I should probably just save it for my grad announcement.


Saturday.
We're walking down some big st I can't pronounce and this lady stops us.
lady: hey are you americans? do you speak english?
us: yes
lady: ah ok thank god. I need to change my flight with Delta because I wanna get outta here and go to London. How do I do that?
us: [try to make sense of the connection between english and flight knowledge]
lady: I need to go to London NOW. I've been in Russia for two weeks. ah communism. This place gives me the heeby jeebies!
us: Have you tried an internet cafe? You can probably just look the stuff up online and then call from skype.
lady: HOW DO I DO THAT? WHERE IS ONE?
us: Um don't know. we're not from here but usually they're everywhere. you just gotta keep your eyes open. You could ask your hotel.
lady: Nooo, I'm not talking to my hotel. IT'S ALL COMMUNISTS.



We head up another large hill to the beer gardens which were pretty cool. They had weird ugly dinosaur animals to climb on and some lady would not stop cleaning the tables/ground even though the ground was dirt and the table was outside. I think I got a buzz from the pint-esque beer they gave me which made keeping up with the Adam-Karli marathon even more difficult.


Later in the day we decided to rent boats and paddle around the Danube. We get out on the water and decided we were idiots not to stock up on supplies. Everyone else (czechs and spaniards) had 12 packs of beer. I went azn crazy and took about a gazillion pictures. I also found it fun when paddling with Yael to try to run into buoys or walls. We later saw asian tourists do the same but I think it was unintentional.


Sunday.
We basically saw the entire city again. It's not that large. We ate at some chinese place that's #38 was hard to pass up, Strange Taste Chicken. It has a picture of peppers next to it indicating it's spicy-ness. I thought to inquire about it but I didn't know if they could really explain how strange this taste was. I also had an awkward encounter in the restroom. I'm waiting and hear what sounds like intense plunging. I'm like hmm weird maybe its someone that works here. A lady walks out with a huge grin on her face and is like HI! HELLO! and I'm like hi... and walk into the stall. I walk out and relate the happy-english-speaking-secret-plumber story to Adam and Karli only to discover she was sitting next to us. They're like is that her? [as she's looking] and I'm like oh shit. Luckily we were done so we leave.
After that we decide we need cocktails. We see this sign that says Happy Hour at Banditos Mexican restaurant, 2 for 1. We're like heck yes. We go in at 5pm and don't leave til about 11. five hours. yep. We had about 8 cocktails between us, nachos and chicken fingers. I think we're also now best friends with everyone that works there.
Our hostel was nice. It was in a more residential neighborhood and it had a garden, free bfast, nice/clean beds and 1 computer. We met this canadian named Jared (so we think) who related his 7wk voyage from Toronto to Asia and then to Europe. He was weary to tell us his name and was gonna use his "bar name" which is Rafeal. I didn't know men needed bar names. Karli basically said "you're so right!" to everything he said. I spilled my 4th glass of wine on myself and didn't know what to do so I left mid-conversation. All I really remember is he knows how to curse in Japanese, he hates souvenirs with a passion and had strep throat 2 days ago. I hope Jared is doing well.

no m'agrada la pluja.

So it's been raining A LOT. Since I hate the metro, my feet and bike are my only modes of transportation thus putting said movement to a standstill. Somehow sedentary life has gone by pretty quickly but I've had a few bumps along the way.
Isabel is in the Sahara, as in Africa. She's helping blind people see again or something like that. Carlos is with his family and said he'd be here 2 days ago. I'm hoping he wasn't abducted while mounting his moto. I'm living in a spanish cave since 2 bulbs have decided to burn out. The one by our table and my bedroom light. It's great. I decided to take responsibility for said darkness by tackling her lighting. This went badly. Somehow the glass part came out... but not the metal part that screws in? Then weird pieces of cement-ish stuff fell on me. I decided to put the bulb down and walk away.
It's been nice though. The living room is basically Carlos's hangout. I think you'd need heavy machinery to detach him from the couch. I've been able to sprawl all over it. Leave my cup where his computer goes and have music and the tv on at the same time. Oh the pleasures of living alone. However I do miss his commentary on my movies and Isabel singing MIKA outloud. But they'll be back soon enough.

my new pad

so this is where I will be residing next year. 31st st in Newport. Livin in the back unit of the one with the brown shingles. you might notice some beige stuff to the right, that's SAND. yes, that's right saaaaaand. I'm like a 2 min walk to the beach. I'll basically be sitting on our PATIO or our SAND with a cerveza, a sombrero & swimsuit while studying. last part is totally crucial and totally happening. you can visit, I guess.
I'm incredibly lucky. I guess when I miss bcn I can just sit on the pier and waste away.

bullshit.

I went to a bullfight about a week ago. Here are some things I learned:
1. it is NOT okay to drink beer at futbol games but it IS okay at bullfights. way less violent. gin and tonic is socially acceptable also. after witnessing the festivities, it didn't seem as absurd.
2. pink panty hose and ballet flats are the most masculine of attire.
3. Yell when the bull gets stabbed well (apparently open to interpretation), whistle when the bullfighter sucks.
4. Jose Tomás looks like Borat.
5. They kill 6 bulls. S I X.
6. They perform live lobotomies.
7. There must be complete and utter silence during the completely fair and equal battle. if you talk- ¡QUE TE CALLE!
8. If you decide to buy cheap seats (like me) be prepared for a totally good view and 20 new drunk friends.
9. I survived.

happiness is a warm gun.

So for most of my life I have had quite a close relationship with hot beverages. Beginning in my youth with Gina's cafe con leches (that I have now grown fond of again) to a healthier adulthood drinking about 20 cups of tea a day. That is not an exaggeration, ask anyone I have lived with. But this harmonious union between me and all things warm came to a screeching halt yesterday when I lost grip of my mug and spilled hot tea all over my recently-awoken body. God decided to do this to me while I was sitting in bed so my reaction time took double. I ripped my shirt off to discover half my torso BRIGHT RED. I spent a good 2 minutes freaking the fuck out. I was like "wait...don't people sue mcdonalds for this!?!?" It's also great how Europe is anti-ice. I basically had all our frozen food laid out over my body. I did some google research and read some pretty sad shit. Somehow people are idiotic enough to put themselves in stupid life compromising situations but smart enough to figure out how to dedicate sites to it. There are people that go to the burn unit for a burnt lip. Some people recommended a going to the ER for burning your mouth, others said look for blistering and something about bacon grease remedies. After reading a bit I realized I was a-okay and decided to ice it and put neosporin on it. After staring at the teapot for a few hours I was able to once again drink my recent foe and I would be lying if I didn't say I think this only made our relationship stronger. After all this chaos I had about 30 min lef to hit the gym (I have to go before 1pm) and managed to run a mile without too much pain.
Moral of the story= wear 7 layers of water/burnproof clothing, 24 hrs a day.
oh and ps. I'm good now. haha.

miss italy.

{picture: italy from the sky}

So apparently it is quite the anomaly as to why I haven't written about Rome. To subside the questioning I will do the city the justice it deserves, or try.

DAY ONE
Well I actually almost didn't even make it to Rome. I got in line for my boarding pass with about 45 min to spare after running full speed. I'm not one to mind about where I'm sitting on planes but I kinda hate when people decide you must move for them or that they have to take a piss every 5 seconds. it's like get an aisle for christ's sake. your bladder can handle an hour. so this catalan lady decides to sit at the window next to me and speak to me in catalan. I answered in espanlan. She decided she was too good for that seat and left and then told her friend to sit in the aisle one. After 5 minutes they both decide this american chick between them is not entertaining enough so they both move to the front of the plane and hangout with their other cool 50-something yr old friends and talk about the weather or movies or whatever they talk about. I just wanted to read my book.
I get to Rome and just wanted to eat pizza, dance and swim in sanitizer all at the same time. I somehow finagle the Roman transportation system, surprisingly they've moved on from chariots. I was mildly disappointed. I got on a train where an italian lady stared at me without blinking for 32 minutes. I then took the metro to where Tierney and Heidi live over by the Vatican. On the metro I overheard a conversation that really made me wish I could not understand english.
[3 men, 1 in 30s, other 2 around 70. I will call 30something Johnny, and then the older guys Chuck and Bob. Johnny had a horrible Jersey accent and thought he was a mob boss]
Johnny: whoa did you see how that lady was all over you?
Chuck: Yeah I didn't know if you she wanted to dance or screw.
Johnny: SCREW. DEFINITELY SCREW.

Wow, thanks Johnny. I suddenly lost my appetite. Also Johnny thought it was completely fine to blatantly mentally undress every chick on the metro. What a great guy. Bob also decided to interupt at one point and say how much ass he gets when he hangs out at the spanish steps. It made me realize that while women mature and settle down. I think men just basically change their clothes, trick you by aging physically but stay mentally around 14 years old for the rest of their lives.
I meet Tierney and Heidi at their stop and recount this story deliriously as I'm probably tripping and twitching like a crack addict due to 3 hrs of sleep and the affects of the great David Bowie covers on the airplane. I didn't know you could do that to Changes.



They take me to these hot spots:
- Pantheon: Raphael's dead body brings in the crowds. I was mostly mesmerized by the tile work and how it is completely exposed to the outside.
- Trevi Fountain: I've learned that Rome really loves to steal your spare change. I guess I'm coming back.
- gelato!: that shit was amazing. the strawberry actually tasted like a STRAWBERRY (super troopers moment). I could live off that for the rest of my life.
- spanish steps: as cool as they look in Roman Holiday, they are just steps. Great photo opp tho.
- villa borghese park: Rome isn't super big on parks but this is definitely a way to escape the city and be able to not elbow people in the face. However beware of intense PDA and men in extremely low cut jeans.
- bars in travestre: we only really went out this night bc I managed to not pass out at like 9pm. I think tequila was a bad idea.
- donut shop: OMG. NUTELLA IN A DONUT. enough said.

DAY TWO
We took a day trip to Tivoli. I know nothing about italian-ness but after some intense Wiki'ing I know understand all that shit we saw. We went to Villa d'este and Villa Adriana. The former being commissioned by Cardinal Ippolito II d'Este, grandson of Pope Alexander VI. It's basically just known for its architecture and garden design. The gardens are amazing. Fountains everywhere. Flowers all in bloom. So green.
Villa Adriana is Hadrian's Villa. Which was the emperor's retreat. A lot is preserved but a lot was also ruined after the fall of the empire. It was most likely looted and also things were taken and put in Villa d'Este and museums. The Academy of the villa was placed on the 100 Most Endangered Sites 2006 list of the World Monuments Watch because of the rapid deterioration of the ruins.


Later that night we went to the Trevi to get some gelato. I also kept making the mistake of calling it GELAT because that's catalan. Tierney called me on it. I guess I'm finally assimilating. Too bad I can't do it when I'm there. Anyways, at the Trevi there are all these super cool Moroccan vendors that I gradually became life-long friends with.
[Vendor 1]
"would you like this [glass light up box that has the trevi on it]"
-Oh very pretty but I really can't afford it.
"Oh come on, I give it to your for 5 euro."
-I'm very sorry I cannot. But it is very beautiful. Did you make it yourself?
"yes yes, handmade."
- Wow, and you etched the trevi in there. That must have taken a while. It's very special.
"Are you married?"
- Me? oh no. Engaged. Yes, He's not here. He's in Spain.
"when will he be here?"
- Tuesday. (fyi I leave Monday).
"Will he buy it?"
- Actually that would be the perfect gift for him to get him. I'll have him come by tuesday. You keep your eyes open.
"Okay! thank you very much!"

[Vendor 2]
"Hello. Would you like anteeeetress ball?" (shoves purple ball of sand in my face. it has 2 eyes and fake hair)
- ooo what is that
"anteeetresss"
- what does it do?
[he then proceeds to make it into a woman with boobs and pinches it for nipples]
- wow you are talented.
"only 1 euro!"
- you got it. however, you must name it.
"anteeetresss"
- no an italian name.
"anteeestress"
- no like isabella...
"miss italia"
- ok, that works.

My cleaning lady touched the anti-stress ball I know fondly call Miss Italy. She is just a blob now and her eyes fell off in my bag.


DAY THREE
hotspots:
- St. Peter's Basilica: wow. If I moved to Europe I'd totally become a priest. Apparently that's where the money is at... or GOLD.
- Colosseum: Trying to imagine the gladiators was hard. I just couldn't even comprehend or imagine what life was like. Cool fact: they have all these exotic plants that grow, mainly on the bottom which is where the animals and people waited before coming out to fight (the platform isn't there anymore but they're restoring it), the plants come from the dead animals that ate exotic foods from all over the world. I also read about how Trajan tried to "up" past emperors and held a 117 day long killing spree to celebrate their victory in Romania, killing 9,000 gladiator men and 10,000 animals which made the way for extinction of many in the following years.
- Capitoline & Palentine Hill and Roman Forum: Kinda like our capital hill; this is where the shit went down. It was the political nucleus of Rome and also was the spot where Julius Cesar was burned. Palentine Hill has Agustus's home and you can also see ruins of the Imperial Palace. As rumor has it, Palentine hill is where remus and romulus were orphaned and raised by a she-wolf founder of Rome. sidenote: from here you can see Circus Maximus, the famous path that chariots once raced. Supposedly the same cypress marks the turn-around.


DAY FOUR
So I got my flight pushed to 4pm so I could make it to the Vatican. A very good decision that took a stress-filled 2 hours but was very worth it.
My faves:
- Mummy: Mummy of a woman from Thebes, 1070-945 B.C. Her skin and hair were totally preserved. It kinda freaked the shit outta me but it was also completely and insanely mesmerizing and I couldn't even fathom that I could be in some weird box in a museum in thousands of years. That lady used to be alive! They also had the embalming jars but they weren't hers so it's not as cool.
- Statue garden; Apollo, Lacoon, and Hercules: I thought Lacoon was pretty crazy. I guess it was pretty grotesque for it's time and was a big surprise because they found it much more recently than the others. Hercules lacks everything but the torso but was supposedly the muse for Michelangelo's bodies.
- School of Athens and La Disputa: I just liked the fact that Raphael was so manipulative and had so many obvious motives with his art. He took jabs at everyone from the government to philosophers to scientists. You can spot him in the beret on the left of School of Athens and he placed Dante in the far left of La Disputa.
- Sistine Chapel: I'm not religious nor usually moved by the exorbitant amounts of money the church took from its blind followers HOWEVER it was something to behold. I stared at the Last Judgment for about 10 minutes. It was probably my favorite. I like the cyclical life cycle and how you can see the god's holding Michelangelo's lifeless body wondering if they should toss it to hell or not. The Creation of Adam is very beautiful. The way God has a force to his hand and Adam is merely putting his hand out to be helped sends a very clear message. It's also interesting how it looks like a bilateral cut of a brain.

octavio.

So today me and karli sat in plaza del sol for 2 hrs because we're observing it for our anthro research. We see the cutest man at this table. He was seriously a catalan Mr. Magoo and I'm a huge fan of anything reminiscent to Magoo or Magoo-esque. He has his lower lip like totally pouted out and is reading some book. He's probably about 5 feet tall and as he reads he wiggles his foot. A french family comes and sits down at the table next to him and he immediately gets up and starts showing them these papers. Turns out that they are drawings and he really wants them to take one. We're pretty stoked by all this and think this guy is probably the best thing ever, old people are basically like babies- gotta love 'em. So Karli is making eyes with him and eventually he comes over to us and shows us his masterpieces. They're really quite amazing. They are basically huge faces in primary colors and pen. Sometimes theres a big heart on the face or he makes the eyes SUPER ROUND by circling them a million times. We ask who they are of and they are all drawings of past actors/artists. He has charleton heston (which Karli buys for a euro), woody allen, pablo picasso and about 10 others. the president and a train (the renfe) were the only exceptions. On the back he has written down all their films, years, birth dates. It's insane. as he's sitting there we notice his pants are falling down. it's odd. when he goes back to his table the waiter tells him to finish his coca cola which he drinks, bangs on the table 3 times, finishes and then walks away. He then asks about 5 other tables in the plaza and almost everyone buys a drawing. Who can say no to this guy? He also stayed and drew for one couple who ended up buying him tea. Obviously he's off his rocker but I'd like to imagine he's like Miró's deranged son or something cool. we tried to interview him to use him as data. basically his name sounds like octavio and he's lived in gracia all his life. Plaza del Sol is his fav so we'll see more of him.

dios mio.

So I think I just caught arthiritis and if I did typing is probably not going to cure it. I got bicing which is this thing in barna where you pay like 25 euro a yr and you get to pick up these bikes all over the city and ride them around. I'm basically in love with it and make myself do things very faraway from my apt; for example I have to go to the beach to get an ice cream sandwich, they're just better there. Tonight I decided to bicing back from the movies and god decided to get drunk. He gave me a broken bike which only had like 3rd gear working (but felt more like 5th) and it was UPHILL the whole way home. I kept thinking "oh its just hard because I just got on" and then I'm like NO I SHOULD NOT BE SWEATING THIS MUCH. And when I tried to change gears and nothing happened, I realized something was wrong. Midway on my voyage I became delirious, probably from the severe loss of fluids. I was biking through Plaza Tetuan which is this roundabout with a park in the center. Bikers go thru the park. I'm going at like a retardedly slow speed. There are these dogs fighting and I decide I'm just gonna go around them. It's like a french bulldog and a yorkshire terrier. I like watching dog shows ok? Well at the moment of this decision they decide to relocate their brawl and I HIT one of the dogs. It was really small and I was afraid I seriously injured it. Due to my delirium I simply gasped, put my hands in the air and then carried on. About 10 minutes later, god decided to create rain. I turned it in early and walked the rest of the way. I decided maybe I shouldn't be in charge of foreign objects.
ANYWAYS, I have not lost faith in bicing but I do wish I had one of those cool foot baths except for my left hand.

Bizkaia

picture caption: parque etxebarria

That's Bilbao in Basque. I'm finally blogging about Bilbao. I guess I just really needed some time to breathe after Ireland. That was a lot of typing. Here's basqueland in a nutshell. I'm sorry my nutshell is so fecking huge.


Hotel Bilbi
Hillary found us a hotel on hostelworld. I don't know if she was drunk or blind (or both) but apparently it looked really luxurious online (okay, it wasn't that bad). We get there and I was basically the grumpiest person in the world. We couldn't find the place and instead of hailing a cab we decided to take a million modes of overpriced public transportation. Let me tell you, Bilbao is the size of your hand so we probably could have walked there in half the time. Apparently Basques are super lazy. They actually have a metro system. ANYWAYS, our hotel was what the brits call "dodgy". He said when leaving the building "ALWAYS turn LEFT, never right". We had gotten about 3 hrs of sleep in between flights and the dude said our room wouldn't be ready for another hour. He had the entire building and I just kept thinking of the HG channel and how he really could have done better with the place. it's like an 80 yr old interior designer took over... and then died. We waited in this room that was sorta like a dining room. It had sketching of running horses on the walls and weird plastic flower arrangements. There were 2 ladies, both around 75 or 80, exchanging photographs and telling each other how good looking they were and how good looking their kids are. I think the guy lets them hangout there and drink coffee. Plus, they probably are lured by the smell of old people that Hotel Bilbi gives off like fumes. Then comes our bedroom. It was 2 twin beds pushed together with a nice floral home-sewn duvet on top. I found blankets in this weird closet that was like basically a bomb shelter- it was completely made of concrete. The blankets all had cigarette burns or weird stains so I decided to not let them ever directly touch my skin. Speaking of skin, I don't know if it was eating fast-food on a regular basis or Hotel Bilbi but the right side of my face is freaking out. I'm hoping that place didn't contaminate me with Amy Whinehouse disease. However, the bathroom was like completely new and really nice. They also supplied us with endless green tea shower gel and shoe shine. Maybe they got some kinda package deal.



The Guggenheim
I would say The Guggenheim is the coolest museum I have ever been to. And let me tell you, I don't go around just saying things like that. I kinda got lost in a trance in there. We went in at like 1:30 and stepped out at like 8, when the docent actually came over and told me to leave. It was only like 7.50 to get in and then we got a free audio guide. I kinda preferred to follow the super rich patron people around and hear their tours but they started catching on and giving me those cutty side glances. Gosh, what art hogs. Their temporary exhibit was called "Art in the US" and was America's history told through art starting from colonization to present day. It was really fascinating because to Europeans our country is still very young and we have transformed tremendously. It's really interesting to see how our culture has evolved in the span of like 5 rooms. The museum also made me sad that I didn't think of turning that toilet upside down and signing my name on it. That guy must be a millionaire.

VodkaCran
One night we decided to do chinese for dinner. We had been planning on it and couldn't find this restaurant that was apparently on like 2 sts and gave up. We walked into this place and the guy forced us to sit down. It was completely empty because spanish people don't eat until 9 and surprisingly don't like food poisoning. So I sit down and order a water and the little chinese man is staring at me like I'm crazy.
"un botello de agua"
chinese man: mmm no sé...
"agua....un agua..." [Hillary chimes in and says it as well]
CM: ahhh AWA!!!
"sí"
CM: de donde eres...pais? where are you from... country?
"los estados unidos"
CM:[blank face]
Hillary: Estados Unidos...USA
CM: [chuckles, shakes head] no sé!!
He arrives 5 minutes later with Hillary's Heineken and a non-alcoholic beer for me. I stare at him for a couple seconds and then he recalls our memorable exchange 5 minutes earlier and gets my water, about a liter of water to be exact.
This place was also quiet as hell and freaking me out. Usually asian restuarants at least have that horrid elevator music but this place was COMPLETELY QUIET. So I start like just sorta dancing and saying musica and I guess one of his waiters heard me. The chinese man turns his computer on and starts playing music. It's not just any music, it's like Jchou crazy wannabe top 40 Taiwanese pop. He starts singing out loud next to his computer. But it's more like moans than the actual putting together of sounds into words. Keep in mind, no one else is in the room. Hillary is telling a story and just starts laughing and I start laughing and we're eventually both sobbing. He had no idea and kept singing. Somehow she keeps telling her story and we disguise it.
My fried rice had ham in it. Oddly, I didn't notice until Hillary pointed it out. Something I've learned in Spain is that ham can find its way into anything. Trust me.
Shortly after, a group of Americans and Brits come in. I guess white people love asian food. There's about 10 of them and they take a huge table in the back. The only thing they know how to say in spanish is numbers so it's like "DOS fried rice, TRES sweet sour chicken" so he goes up to an american chick and he's like "bebida?(drink)" and she says VODKACRAN. Who the hell orders a Vodka Cran, or calls it that without imediately being shot in the back of the head. I thought a Manhattan would wash down chow mein better. She probably heard us make fun of her the entire night. But hey when I'm in a foreign country speaking to people that barely know THAT language, I'll for sure abbreviate my cocktail orders so at least they know I'm hip.

There was this huge neon picture/painting of the sierra nevada, kinda like those jesus ones or the waterfall scenes, it has like a crazy florescent lighting panel behind it. I knew the picture so I was like
"Hillary, I dare you to ask him where that is. I bet you he'll either say 'no sé' or 'españa'."
So she asks him and he's like
"oh that? hmmm... no sé...no sé"
ah no sabes?
"ah no no, españa!! españa! sí sí."
ah sí claro, españa por supuesto.

I'm actually worried this guy is mentally retarded. I also had to do hand motions when ordering tea, he thought it sounded like "postre" and thought I wanted dessert. I was really excited because it smelled like the normal chinese jasmine tea. Finally something not weird. But then I go to take a sip and it has THE WEIRDEST taste. It was like someone dropped their gum in it and it left an oddly minty aroma. I don't know how this guy got to Spain or survives outside the confines of that restaurant. He probably tricks people with his William Hung-esque skills.

Ireland

picture caption: saint patrick's cathedral park

It is too hard to sum up everything in a bunch of adjectives so instead I will share some incidents that I believe fully encompass the general sentiment of the trip. But if you don't get anything out of this, get one thing straight, Joanna can drink beer now.

Incident 1: Hotel Nazis
So when we booked for Ireland the only place available was the comfort inn. They claimed on their website that they were centrally located so we jumped at the sight of vacancy. We get to Ireland and after arriving in town we discover that the Comfort Inn is an uncomfortable distance from the city centre. I hail a cab and ask him if he has any idea where "Kingswood" is. The dude gives me that "you've got to be kidding me" face and I'm like oh feck. Luckily he was super accommodating and was like well it's a bit out so it's gonna be like 20 euro and I'm dude that's fine. I give him the # for the hotel and he calls about a million times. No answer. After about the billionth ring, someone DOES answer but then his shitty phone dies. Luckily he talked to the person long enough to get directions.
We get there and it's actually really really nice. It's kinda like an embassy suites or something like that. And it was super cheap, only like 25 euro a night each. However, they did show us further disappointments, for example: The evil leprechaun working the main desk. He was not amused by any of my behavior including my extreme hunger. They have no vending machines. We got in at like midnight and were starving. I scrounged up a special k bar that I saved for situations such as these and ate half of it. He told us they have a great breakfast in the morning. "Oh, it's complimentary right?" ummm, no its 9.50 euro. yeah no thanks. 2nd disappointment: So how do we get into the city? Oh here's a bus shedule. duration- 80 MINUTES.
I walk into the room and discover DOWN comforters, DOUBLE beds, COFFEE MAKER, and a bathtub. Suddenly the idea of not being in a hostel subsides my anger.

Incident 2: Sebastiano and John Wayne
We decide to cave in a purchase some 5 euro pints at Temple Bar, one of the most famous bars in Dublin. We get there and settle in the patio so that we can breathe. We talk to these Irish dudes for like 5 minutes until they decide we're bitches 'cause we're not captivated by their intelligible leprechaun accents. We move to this other table and sit next to this german guy named Sebastian. We introduce ourselves, he tells me my name sounds brazilian and then he continues to describe his life as an engineer for DHL. When people are obsessed with obscure/obscenely boring work, I find it wise to pretend you know EXACTLY what they're talking about, nod/smile and then change the subject. Hillary decided to ask questions like "you make parcel machines. wait, do you work for the post office?" that spurred more insanely dull details of his worklife. I think this is why beer conveniently does not make me ralph now. I actually ORDER it! It's really insane. I deserve some kind of medallion. I've only been able to drink wine & mixed drinks for god knows how long. I mean cosmo's were huge in kindergarten.

Anyways, Hillary goes to the bathroom and I decide to try to get Sebastian to be less boring. "So do you have a lot of friends here?... what do you do when you're not working?... Do you like to dance?" I ask him about discotecas and he says "not now, not now... I can show you guys later". I think he thought my accent/brazilian name was just very entertaining and would simply laugh, touch his 23 yr old comb-over and go on to talking about the world of wooden trays and shipping machinery.
To interrupt this fascinating conversation came Wayne Cruise, a random late 30s irishman who thought I had a british accent. Sebastian went to go get another beer and Wayne decided to save his seat. Wayne loves westerns and John Wayne. I guess he studied in Boston for grad school and recounted some drug dealing gone bad in his neighborhood and how everyone always has guns and knives in the US. He thinks California, specifically Sacramento, is a very dangerous place and wonders how I have survived thus far. I just call him John Wayne because Wayne Cruise is about the lamest/most un-irish name I have ever heard. Sebastian comes back and discovers John's version of saving seats is sitting on them. I tell him Seabass is back and he goes SEBASTIANOOO, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? "My name is Sebastian" Oh I thought you were french. "No, I'm german but in french it would just be Sebastían." Right Sebastiano.
John gave up the seat eventually, telling Seabass how lucky he is to have friends with such "good skin and intellects".
We decide it's time to catch our 80 minute long bus and bid farewell.



Incident 3: Guinness Storehouse
Guinness was great. It's like disneyland for irish people. We get over there and there's a huge line outside AND it's raining. I see these 3 kids kinda make their way up to the front of the line. They find this american 2 up from us and try to cut with her. She gives them some odd excuse like "well I could...but the lady behind me won't be too happy" even though I would just be like uhhh NO. I ask them what they're doing 'cause they're pretty much standing next to us. One of them tries to smooth talk me, pretty impressive coming from a 12 yr old. They're soaked. So to be honest, I don't really mind them cutting. It's not like I'm not getting in. So we let them just go in with us. 2 of them are british and just moved there and 1 is irish. the kid that won't stop talking to me is getting text msgs non-stop. I ask why the hell 12 yr olds would wanna go to guinness since they can't even drink beer but I guess they hear it's cool and they wanna see it. The quiet british kid keeps asking me philosophical questions like "where would you live if you could live ANYWHERE in the world?" I told him I'd have to get back to him on that. I still don't really know. That was a good question. The smooth brit kept telling me how I should cut and tried to show me. I told him it's not that I don't know HOW it's that I really just don't mind waiting my turn. The small irish one seemed like he was always trying to be badass and would ask me questions like "why you wearin red runners?" [confused face] he points at my feet. my socks? "no runners" the quiet brit is like "you say SNEAKERS" and I'm like ooooh. The irish kid explains to me that the Irish only wear white runners. I tell him that americans are similar but I just like some color. Then he said something like "lksajadlkajthinkswe'reLEPRECHAUNS" I just smile/nod. I guess he said that everyone thinks they talk like leprechauns, I really think leprechauns are easier to understand but the only ones I've heard are on cereal boxes.

Me and Hillary go on the tour which is pretty self explanatory. They just show super up-close pictures of grains and shit and have water everywhere. They make everything boring really pretty & bright so you're interested. We go up to the very top to get our free pint. It was really cool & has a view of the entire city. We go down a couple stories to one of the bars in the brewery (they have like 3 or 4), this one is pretty chill and has live music. Some band is gonna play from the US called "Mexican Surfing Champions". I was totally pumped and pretty much the only person into the music besides these random street performer ladies that work at the entrance. Also, the lead singer looked EXACTLY like Hillary. Except he was a man. But they have the same hair, sunglasses AND face. it's crazy. they should get married and have creepy babies.



It was pouring rain out so I decided we really needed to get our 10 euros worth (cost of admission) and they had these free snacks. It was lox and cream cheese on guinness bread and you got a little of their foreign stout with it. We had like 5 of them each and then decided to scour the premises and peace. On the way back our cabbie asked me what I study. I told him and he was like "anthropology, so that's plants right?" Someday people will understand.
sidenote: apparently alcoholism is big in Ireland (gasp) and they have all these signs on the buses like "when you're wasted every night, you waste my life" or something hardly poetic to that extent. Weirdly, all the people next to the quotes were like newlywed/middle aged men. So I guess women are really into the pub scene there. beware.



Incident 4: Parades
I think it's funny how humans have evolved to this point where entertainment is so much work. Like you have to wait 3 hrs, wear ridiculous clothing and eat gross shit in anticipation for a bunch of people dressed in bright colors, singing, dancing, and standing on contraptions that roll down the street. I think it's also funny that I love this.
While we were waiting we realized the family in front of us were from ILLINOIS. No offense to the people in our EAP program, but aside from them everyone I have met some the state of Illinois has caused me nausea. It's like every person is a 70 yr old grandma that was locked in a house in Minnesota so she doesn't even have cool stories to share about wartimes or when she was a brazen hussy. Their conversations were basically,
"oh I'm so glad Timmy chose to do Forestry"
yeah it seems to make him really happy.
"yeah oh gosh I don't think I've seen him so happy"
yeah I mean it's better than when he wanted to do aviation.
"Yeah. We could have given him lessons but we didn't."
OR
"I don't like them wearin' these warmups, they don't look sharp."
Oh I think they look just fine.
OR
"ah look at that building there. very interesting. looks dutch-ish"
Riveting stuff really.

starving artists.

So lately when I've been walking up & down passieg de grácia I've seen this one lady. She apparently is nuts or something and sells her crayon drawings to people. But it's not like she's this meek poor/mentally ill person that just goes around asking for money. She gets in your face and like throws her pictures at you. The thing is... she does that whole down syndrome voice thing and she CLEARLY does NOT have down syndrome. Also, she likes to do it at crosswalks and always hassles EVERYONE but me. I'm jealous.
I've seen her 3 or 4x and she usually works this one corner but today I saw her up at Casa Fuster, towards where I live. She got angry at a couple for not buying one of her pictures and starting kicking a bike and yelling at it. I worked with kids with disabilities and down syndrome people are the nicest ever which leads me to believe it's a huge scam.
I draw these super good animals and flowers. I think it's really my calling so I might just put myself out on PdG and see what I can get for them. A little competition never hurt.
I'm probably going to el infierno for this. no pasa nada.

brits say gay, yes?

So when I was getting my haircut yesterday the lady offered me UK Cosmo. Ever since I've been trying to figure out this british word that we NEVER use and they ALWAYS do and I know it starts with a d and its long... it's not daft, thanks. But while internet stalking trying to figure it out, I found this. Honestly I think all this self-help shit is bullshit, I think it's just gonna turn you into a huge narcissist and frankly a pain to be around if you're always concerned with helping yourself. However, I thought this article was cute (even though I hate the word) and thankfully felt like I adhere to all of them. Especially the one about list making, almost to a fault. So thank god I'm happy, well so says Cosmo. Ps. excuse words like "holiday", "fish and chips" and "weebies". Apparently they like to speak like 6 year old girls in charm school.

Simple Secrets of Happy People:
1. They make every day a holiday
Even if you're just going out for coffee, happy people treat it with the same level of relaxation as you would if you were on holiday.
2. They look popular (and curiously young)
"Happy people have a teenage glow, even if they have more laughter lines than OAP bus-pass holders," says Tessa Souter, author of Anything I Can Do... You Can Do Better.
3. They love surprises
"Play against negative typecasting," recommends psychotherapist Carol Martin-Sperry. "If you've had a bad journey to work, buy a coffee for your workmates. Pleasing them will de-stress you."
4. They live for fish and chips
Here's a philosophy to remember: today's bad news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper. Happy people wake up and start afresh each day, instead of dwelling on problems.
5. Sexually, they snowball
No, the snowball isn't a complicated sex position, it's the fact that the more you think about sex, the more you want it and the more you enjoy it. ‘Feeling sexually is a great way of boosting your happiness levels," says Martin-Sperry.
6. They always find reasons to laugh
"It's a fact that you'll face occasional setbacks in life," admits Souter. "But if you can take a step back and treat your situation like a gripping film, you'll almost enjoy the drama. And, of course, all the best films have happy endings."
7. They care about other people
"When you're not just concerned with making yourself feel good, you allow a real connection with other people," says Martin-Sperry. "By putting yourself in their place you can help them and share in their happiness too."
8. They like ticking things off (a lot)
"Break down a big problem into smaller challenges," advises Thalmessigner. "Make a list of every tiny task and tick them off as you go. Seeing evidence of your mini successes makes you feel proud and confident about tackling the next challenge."
9. They keep it real
"Having realistic expectations means you won't feel disappointed and are more likely to appreciate what you do have," says Martin-Sperry.
10. They're weebles
‘Weebles wobble but they don't fall down," says Souter. Bounce back from bad experiences by trying to see the experience as helpful, rather than life-shattering.

march.

I can't believe it is March already. what the hell. Also, what is up with March? Like does anyone ever do anything in that month and why do they put our spring break in it because it's still freaking cold as hell. But I guess St. Pat's is this month and he is definitely one of my favorite saints. Thanks Ireland for making March pretty decent.

sticky shoes.

So I wake up Monday to super loud drumming and shouting. My balconies are perpendicular to the street so I open the doors and lookout and try to make sense of things but I have no idea what is going on. Then I look to the left and there are men and women on horses. They are fancy horses with like gold seats. The people are throwing candy at small children and the elderly. There is also this weird truck that kinda looks like the ones in CA that have fruit in the back. Well this one has people wearing ugly purple vests with "flair" all over them. This madness gave me the energy to go to the gym. I encountered a lot of old people scouring the streets for spare candy. It's totally okay to go back later when everyone is gone and pick up what's left; throwing away the stepped on or half-eaten of course. On the way I unfortunately had pretty close contact with one of those truck things and had about 20 candies propelled at my face. Thank god for reflexes. Then some 70 yr old man elbowed me in the stomach so blocking his area. It was pretty ugly out there.
Grácia has a lot of these fiestas. I think it's for a saint or something? All I know is that they love throwing candy. The cool thing is I guess the people on horseback go to the top of the hill, eat and drink all day and then come back down at night. sounds like a good gig to me. minus the ugly sweaters.
To my dismay I only have one candy to show for it. I didn't even pick it up. Hillary gave it to me. And I have yet to eat it. Also, my boots are forever sticky and I've almost fallen 5x so I just kinda walk hard and awkwardly in them. It's getting better.

elecciones

While in the US people are freaking out with their t-shirts and bumper stickers, Spain as well is feeling the turmoil of a new election and the possibility of a new and drastically different leader. Both candidates are pretty liberal but it's been an obvious transformation in Spain's economy & social welfare since the Zapatero win two days following March 11th 2004 terrorist attempt in Madrid. The other guy, Rajoy? Who really cares. I'm not gonna lie, his facial expressions are worthy of Lord of the Rings. It's a little frightening. Check it out-




BBC news article
sidenote: 12 million tuned into the debates. I like that the image they chose to portray this is a guy having a cerveza and some tapas by himself in a bar. I guess it's more fun than showing those lame pictures of families in their living rooms. bars, thats where it's at.

my spanish dad is shorter than me.

So last night as I was sitting in my room being totally useless I heard incessant doorbell ringing. No one usually rings our front door so I peep through the peephole and see his dude. Apparently its really obvious when you look and he's like HOLA. I guess he was a solicitor or something. So I open the door and I'm like
-Hola.
"Hola"
-que necesitas? What do you need
"pues, es tu padre libre? tengo que hablar con alguien más de 18 anos." is your dad available? I have to speak to someone over 18.
-umm sí. (motion to Carlos)

My spanish dad takes over and I walk into my room where "My Prerogative" by Britney Spears is on blast and slam the door. He thought I was under 18? HOW RUDE.

top secret.

I'm kinda worried that instead of a gym I belong to a really super secret society. Well not as much worry as hope to god. Last week, it asked for my FINGERPRINT to enter. I'm thinking retina scan is next. I feel like maybe I'm unknowingly training to be the in the catalan mafia. I feel like this is all possible because of that one time I accidently joined that cult.
"Hey, wanna see dick chaney burn in the flames of hell?"
me: Sure, why not.
"okay well just put your name...info...down here"
me: alrighty. oh and nice pic of chaney burning in hell, looks very realistic.

Poor Thomas was hanging out with me too and my political activism was unfortunately contagious. Turns out we joined the Larouche Youth Movement and they felt fine with reminding me every Monday at 8pm.
"We're having a big 'demonstration' in Glendale tonight. We can organize a ride for you! Tonight is really big. We're really trying to figure out how to mobilize and take on Washington."
The pictures of Dubya and Chaney in flames were resonating in my mind. Wait...those weren't just funny little jokes? haha...hell...president...haha...ugh.
After reading an article by the Washington Post profiling a meeting in Germany gone-bad where some kid ended up dead on train tracks... I decided to make a call.
-Hey, this is Joanna. I deleted my email and this is my friends phone. I am having to change my... idenity. I will give you all my new information at the meeting tonight.
"Oh totally understandable. Sounds great. See you later... Joanna..."

I guess they are used to that kinda thing. They're so understanding.

So basically my gym could be really be the secret service, who knows.

snickerdoodle.

So last night after Hillary left I bonded with Carlos and Isa in the kitchen. I found out some very interesting things. For example:

1. Carlos lived on a cow farm in Germany for 2 years. He and his friend had 40 cows, 20 each. I asked if they had names and he was like POR SUPUESTO (of course). He also did this cute cow walk. I think it's a one-time only thing though, sorry.
2. Isabel thinks Britney Spears is amazing but also a schizophrenic. true dat.
3. Carlitos doesn't get why gays in America want to get married. It's not like they go to church? But we agreed it was discrimination and there are no hard feelings.
4. My friend Katie made me these amazing snickerdoodle cookies. I offered them to Isa and Carlitos and they went crazy and thought they were the best things ever. I told him they're called "snickerdoodles" and he got this huge grin on his face and was like SNEEEEKERDOOOOOOODLE! wow. why is english so freaking weird. He said if I agree to make "coooookies" that he will be my aprentice.
5. We talked about illegal immigrants in the US and Carlitos kept asking if we hide them in our trunks. I explained that no, most have cars.

Side notes: earlier in the night me and Hillary were watching Never Been Kissed and basically it is the best movie for Spanish people because its super obvious overt humor. We explained like the entire thing to him and whenever someone would get food thrown on them or run into doors he would just go into histerics. He says Americans have the best comedic timing.
Also, the other day Carlos comes knockin on my door,
"Joanna...Joanna!"
I answer wearing a shirt that translates roughly to "from cadiz, bitch" & boxers from having just woken up at noon.
"Joanna, would you like a hairbrush?"
uhh. Yeaaah. Sure. Thanks Carlos.
"de nada!" [walks away smiling]

I don't know if this is a hint or what. I've been trying to brush regularly. However now me and Carlos have the same exact hairbrush. I guess I can like carve my name into mine.

cenaaa

So Saturday night we decided to have a potluck-ish dinner at Hillary's since she has her piso to herself while Rose is on holiday. It was super fun and I brought my portable speakers so I could listen to Britney while I cooked AND while I ate. AMAZING. gimme more means so much more now, its like hey gimme gimme... gimme more...of dat tuna! you know what I'm sayin?
I made

grilled veggies. mmm.

Ross made this pasta that was kinda like soup except if you only put a little bit of chicken broth. it was kinda confusing but oddly satisfying. His defense was "that's all pasta is! soup without broth!", yeah I think there might be a little more to it. I could be wrong.
Ross and Hillary aren't drinking for their "mini-lent". they're not even catholic, what freaks. so I kinda used that as an opportunity to hog the wine and it became so things like this

became amusing. thats me picking up a pear with a back scratcher. Yael loves it.

also spurring this great photoshoot with Ross. Hillary must've had so much fun discovering her memory card full because of these.
happy face (not to be confused with mardi gras face)

mardi gras face

thinking face

azn face

I was starting to think I do nothing with my life. Ha. Guess I was wrong.

feliç sant valentí.

Since supposedly it's a holiday I feel like I should blog. But to be honest it's just another day in the neighborhood for me. Speaking of which, I'm totally Mr. Rogers-ing it with a cardigan, fascination with postal workers and an imaginary world. But by postal worker I mean Carlitos.

However some pretty romantic shit has happened to me today like;
1. I walked to close to this guy and he said PARDONA GUAPA. Wow what a nice guy. He's not even a construction worker. Totally classy type like newspaper vendor or something.
2. My grammar teacher taught us how to say 1 night-stand in spanish. She's really wise. I'm hoping maybe next week she'll teach us how to ask for crack or prostitutes. But I don't think they have a holiday. I should write to hallmark.
3. I passed the grocery store I normally shop at and in the window it said "Regalo para LOVERS". Totally got me running through all my lovers in my head and trying to figure out who I should buy a gift for. I mean LUVAHHH. For some reason my mind just went blank, probably due to overload.

ps. I have such good fashion taste that Amy Whinehouse's total babe of a BF likes to dress like me. Yeah, he got that cardi at the Gap my friend.


shit.
I have those jeans too.

oh americans.

I've been sick for a week now. It sucks. I've been rewarding myself with this gift of not setting an alarm. I think I deserve sleep. So I wake up at like 11am this morning and decide to drink mass quantities of tea and watch Family Guy. After about an hr it gets old and I decide to crash Hillary and Marc's coffee date. The lady at our cafe totally knows me and predicts me asking for mustard and honey. It's pretty adorable. We decided to be productive and walk down to the port and maybe along the beach. We see the gondola thing that goes to Montjuic and Hillary suggests doing it since its nice out and we're actually like moving. I'm like sure why not. We decide to take the longest way there as possible. Literally we probably walked like a mile out of the way. It took a while. When we get there there is this huge line that isn't moving at all. I go up to look at prices and figure out how this shit works. These 2 guys behind us hear me speaking English to Hillary and are like "oh I'm sorry, what were you saying about it..." and proceed to try to be our best friends. I feel bad for travelers most of the time and am okay with being bff with them for about an hr but it was weird. The greek guy was okay. He was pretty normal. But the British dude made THE GNARLIEST facial expressions. It literally freaked me out. I couldn't look. He would like scrunch his whole face up, roll his eyes around and do that awkward nervous laughing that guys shouldn't do after the age of 12.
Somehow we got on the topic of the upcoming elections.
[greek dude- G, british dude- B]
B- ah yeah I heard that Oprah like is endorsing Obama or something.
me: uh I don't know.
G: yeah! I saw that thing about it on family guy... Obama and Oprah.
me: obama on oprah...on family guy?
G: ya ya!
me: are you sure you don't mean tom cruise?
G: uh hmm...
me: was he jumping on a couch?
G: ah ya! tom cruise! jumping on a couch!

Easy mix-up, hopefully doesn't happen in the voting booth.

They asked us to have coffee after and I was like ohhh I have to make some calls to the US afterwards which I guess was a really good excuse 'cause the British guy was like "OH WELL IN THAT CASE... YEAH TOTALLY UNDERSTAND".
We purchase our tickets and after a couple minutes this woman comes up to me and pokes me and says
"Hey, I overheard. What part of California are you from?"
- Oh I'm from Socal and [point at hillary] she's from the bay area.
"Oh cool, yeah I'm from socal too. "
-Oh yah I'm from Orange County.
"Oh yeah? I work in Irvine."
-I go to UCI!
"Oh no way I work right by the Verizon amphitheater.
[awkward British guy butts in: I'm from England!]
Yeah I overheard... Anyways, what are you doing here?"
She totally blew off the English and Greek dude which was fine by me. It was hilarious. She was so orange county and it totally brought me home. We proceed to get in the elevator and the operator is outside and makes this freakish face and the door closes. weird. Then we realize her husband had pushed the button to go up. Anyways we go up and wait around. They ask us about Barcelona and how we like it. It was nice to talk to people from home and to help them out a bit. It's funny how traveling brings people that might only have 1 thing in common (like county) and somehow it's really comforting. I wish home was like that too. We got to the other side and tried to avoid awkward British-Greek conversations. The gondola takes you to Montjuic which is the top of this mtn by the water. We kinda just hungout/took pics then walked down it and got some coffee. All in all it was a good and interesting day.

zaragoza guide.

So I guess this online guide published one of my photos. kinda weird but cool I guess. Heres the link if you're bored. Click on Belchite and the picture on the left is mine (says by Joanna Clay). Might have to scroll through if its not the first one.

schmap maps website

sevilla y carnaval

So this last wknd we spent 3 nights in Sevilla, the last night technically spent in Cádiz for carnaval. Sevilla was really pretty and a way more interesting city than I imagined. I liked it a lot more than Granada. We saw this catedral that had the tomb of cristopher colombus which is pretty insane to think about. Our hostel was really nice. It was in an old spanish house and was really nice inside. The guy that worked there was pretty special. I don't think he understood hospitality at all and would make things extremely difficult for people. Me and Hillary were in a 3-bed room and supposedly the 3rd bed was unoccupied. Our friend Katie booked last minute and asked if she could be put in our room. He came up with this bizarre answer about how the computer wouldn't allow it or whatever. So we had an empty bed next to us for like the entire time. Also, some guy asked him in super bad english
"do you know where futbol is?"
-like to watch a game?
"no, to play. to kick the ball."
- ah, to play with other people?
"yes yes"
- oh no. I do not know... and I don't know people that would know...
"but futbol very big in Spain?"
- (laughs) yes futbol is very big here.

I'm like dudeeee are you serious? You have NO idea where this guy can play futbol? I could probably grab a random map and find some kind of sports center. jesus christ. Also something I don't understand. SPAIN HATES HONEY. I had a sore throat for almost the entire wknd. I even went to STARBUCKS which I hate because I thought I could get a big cup of tea with HONEY. but no, they just hand me crappy sugar packets.
Saturday was super cool and I did a lot of sightseeing with katie and yael. We went to this place called the Alcazar which was a Moorish fort. It reminded me a lot of the Alhambra and was really breathtaking. It also had these gardens that felt like you were traveling through time. All the vegetation was overgrown and everything looked untouched. I felt like Indiana Jones or like we were discovering El Dorado haha. At one point we discovered peacocks and quail and me and Yael decided to bring out our inner crocodile hunter by chasing them while narrating.

Poor Yael decided to stay with this intercambio she met in Cádiz to save money. Turns out he lives like 20 min outside Sevilla so she had to take buses in and his roommates were super loud and thought it was awesome to play beer pong at 3am against her wall. She got lost one night after hanging out with us and ended up in the boonies. She didn't want to worry Miguel so she wandered around aimlessly for a while trying to figure out where the hell she was. She met a guy with down syndrome (no joke) and he went inside a restaurant to help her. Which spurred the owner to say (in spanish) "you do not leave this place! you do not go outside. you stay right there!" ugh awkward. So Yael finally calls Miguel's roommate who somehow directs her to another bus and she gets home like 3 hrs later only to have to wake up at 7:30 to take a train to Cádiz, which turned out we wouldn't make til 11. haha. so basically Yael functioned on no sleep the entire trip.

Cádiz was awesome. Really nostalgic. I swear I was probably more sad and happy at the same time than I will be when I go home. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it and it definitely feels like a second home which is really weird. We ate at all our favorite places, hungout at the beach and met up with people we studied with there. The costumes were RIDICULOUS. Politically correct is not understood in Spain and it's kinda hilarious. Dressing up as Asian, Muslim or painting your body black is A-OKAY. It is also fine to represent the republican party by dressing up like a priest and having a boy SEWN TO YOUR CROTCH. such good taste. I'd never seen so many men dressed as women. wow men have muscular tiny legs. its freaky. and they definitely apply makeup much better than I would have expected.
So tonight I'm thinking of going to Carnaval in Sitges which is a beach city in La Costa Brava. It's supposed to be pretty insane. I'm trying not to talk myself out of it but I'm still pretty exhausted and getting over this lame cold I caught. mandame suerte.
Ps. check out my flickr slideshow on the right for pics.

sardana'ing on a saturday nite.

Yesterday me, karli and deja decided to go down to barceloneta with some chips and sangria and kick it. On the way we picked up this huge fake display book of the Golden Compass and decide to carry it around so people can just point and stare. I thought we could make it a cool game and like force people to trade things for it or take pictures with us but they said no. We also helped this middle-aged guy that was in the "solar panel business", riveting I must say. He wanted to know where "the castle" was. Which was either la pedera or La sagrada familia. He couldn't make up his mind. He also claimed he lived in norcal for a while but we think its all lies 'cause he says he likes the good atlantic fishing there. I'm convinced he got some solar damage.



we get to the beach. what seemed like an hr turned out to be like EIGHT. Got home and I realized I should probably eat dinner eventually. I meet Karls&co at doner kebab and she claims to have seen crazy street bonfires and a stage. we get our shit to go, grab some beers and head for the fiesta. Turns out it was like Mallorca's independence day or something? and it's like a big deal to Catalan peeps. There was stuff going on in all the plazas by where I live and there were people EVERYWHERE. Anyways it was pretty rad and I totally pretended I knew what was going on. I met some cool spaniards, one is named after a bird and told me my accent was "preciosa". I'm trying to think that's nice versus creepy. I took a video of the catalan dance called "sardana". It's pretty cool. I think it basically consists of copying whoever dances best. I'm sure theres more logic to it, that's just sorta what it looks like. I tried to upload a sweet video I took but apparently blogger is also satan's baby.

please watch this.

if you wanna laugh, question the ground we walk on, life and all things holy then you better watch this (order important):


AND THEN this:

wasting time.

So Monday I had 3 finals. It was pretty horrible and since then I've given myself the big fat reward of doing absolutely nothing. This is also denial that I have 2 more papers due in the next week.

To perpetuate this great vast nothingness that I call my life I have gotten addicted to stumpleupon. If you don't know what that is then you probably should just ignore this blog because it will surely ruin your life. you add this toolbar to firefox, put in your preferences (what you like etc) and click stumble and it takes you to highly rated sites within your interests. It's amazing.

Today I stumbled upon this old guy that does tutorials on how to do origami. I was like "oh yes, I've always wondered how to do origami". I always thought somehow it would be useful. Like maybe someday someone will be like "hey I'll give you a million bucks if you could turn that post-it into a swan" and you fail miserably and be moritifed. I try this tutorial thing but I feel disadvantaged and discriminated by the origami community. First of all, I don't own this double-sided weird-sized multi-color paper. I take my notebook paper and try to do it but HE GOES SO FAST and all of a sudden his fancy hot pink paper is a water lily and I'm still staring at my 8x11 graph paper having flashbacks from algebra 2. If you want to, you should check it out.

To cure that disappointment I started thinking about how great the song "changes" is by David Bowie and decided to put it on repeat and sing out loud for about an hr.
The other day I stumbled upon this amazing site that has these horse-like animals that sing like a barbershop quartet and you click to turn them on/off. it's so great. it's basically my life.
Oh and I've also realized the computer is probably the worst invention ever.

I think they should have stayed like this,

and then they would have never taken over our lives. they wouldn't be trendy, attractive and decorated in fruit. But instead bulky and cumbersome. Bill Gates would remain the mascot and no one wants to be like him. heck, you need a microchip to enter his house. so much for hospitality.
I wouldn't have to know that Amy Whinehouse snorts coke laced with ecstasy and then goes to McDonalds or that Britney Spears loves speaking with a British accent (we'll probably find out aliens told her to). But I guess I'll just embrace Stanley (thats my computers name) because without him (and his friend the internet) you wouldn't be able to read this fine literature in front of you.

I think I have a problem.

So on my off-time I've been watching House a lot online. I'm not big on medical shows. Somehow they always try to play up the weird doctor-doctor, doctor-nurse relationships and it's like dude, don't you know these people don't have love lives? They're probably asexual plants and finds ways to splint in half. they're all science-y (to talk like Ross). However I LOVE House. Instead of playing up stupid love and sob stories they just have this cynical asshole doctor who diagnoses shit totally wrong for the majority of the show and then comes up with some ridiculous diagnosis at the end, like the flu. it's so great.

However, there have been consequences. Not only do I worry about cerebral hemorrhages when stressed but I've been prone to check my heart beat, smell for toxic gas, make sure I'm not jaundiced (which means liver failure) or god forbid I have some auto-immune disease which is basically undetectable until your organs shut down. I also have had an itchy ear for a while which may mean a small bug has crawled inside. It could eventually get into my brain and cause paralysis. I think I'm gonna wash it out with alcohol tomorrow.
Anyways, so I've gone through all the episodes of House I could find online, which was about 40 or something. I need to move on. it's time.
if you have suggestions, let me know.

mayonesa

So you know how people always ask what you'd do if you won the lottery?
After buying a jet, a driver and a house...
I think the coolest thing would just be to pay people to do ridiculous shit. You know when you're like "hey if I gave you 100 bucks would you...." and then they're like um maybe for like 500. and you really wish you had that 500 so you could see them cross-dress for a week, do awkward things in public naked, bike naked, walk their dog naked. naked just makes it so much funnier.
WELL today as ross was mixing ketchup and mayo OVER AND OVER trying to make a really disgusting not-brava brava sauce I had a thought. ross is cheap.

"Hey ross, will you eat a packet of mayo for a euro?"
a euro?
"uh 50 cents"
a euro! no 1.50!
"fine, a euro"
ok, I'll eat it off the table.
(don't worry it was on a weird spanish plastic napkin thing)

Ross proceeds to eat it off the table which made my horrible hellish final-crammed day, one of the most disgusting entertaining days ever. I laughed to the point of tears, watched him swallow and then pushed the coin across the table. I sipped my coffee, which tasted like mayo, and decided I would lay off paying people to do gross shit for a while.

who reads this?

I really don't know and am curious. you should leave me comments and tell me how much you adore me.

YOUR MOM is beer colored.

so last night we (me, ross & hillary) decided we needed to get off our asses and do something on a friday night. I think I'm like 40 yrs old because if its 10pm and I don't have plans I'm like YES I GET TO GO TO SLEEP EARLY. THIS IS AMAZING. before going we decided to hangout at my place and talk really loud so there was no way isabel or carlitos could fall asleep. we discussed my potential tattoo that will grace my elbow. me riding a sloth holding a plate of patatas bravas. it actually completely encompasses who I am as a person but supposedly tattoos are addicting and no one likes an addict. we attempted to read out loud in french so ross had more reasons to make fun of me and hillary. then I finally kick those beezys out and we make it to a bar. All of them are full (which is usually the point) but hillary would just look at the window and be like "aw no room". Then we find one that I don't know the name of but its only disinguishing characteristics were bread baskets as lampshades, a huge tv with futbol on it and SMOKE. you open the door and like smoke trailed out. it was kinda romantic though, having to talk to ross and hillary through the clouds. it's kinda like those romance novels. except there were no french filters involved. or romance.

For some reason this spurs a number of quotes that I had to write down (from ross) and some really weird interactions. Ross is relating a story of prior drug use to Hillary. Ross is really normal and doesn't really do drugs so this is slightly entertaining. The conversation starts, with a tilt of the head, "Well Hillary...I used to be like you..." and then I guess he completely evolved into something else. He's probably gonna be the next Hunter S. Thompson, who knows. Ross goes on to say "I think drugs are STUPID...but also incredibly cool". I was thinking that should go on a tshirt or something. or maybe just teach it to kids in school.
At some point he calls Hillary's mom "beer-colored", maybe they can comment on this blog and explain. But there is probably no good explanation because they are sorta retarded. Which me and Hillary have recently found out is imposisble. I guess you have the extra 21st chromosome or you don't. okay, I'll remove sorta then. Then we go on to talk about how supposedly Jeruseleum was super stoked to have Bush coming and like completely re-vamped the town. I find it slightly hilarious because you'd think Christians don't like mass murder in Mesopotamia, but times changes I guess. Ross is like "THE PRESIDENT IS LIKE THE QUEEN IN JERUSELUM". The queen, not king. Bush loves drag.

Then we decided to tell eachother what we really thought of eachother like characteristics/personality which was sorta hilarious and really intense. I think Ross pretty much gave me and Hillary the same evaluation except for these gems, "you like to make plans and take control but a lot of the time you have NO idea what you're doing. you always do what you want to do. like if we're doing something and you're not interested you'll just be like 'okay, I'm gonna go'. Or if it's cold, you'll be like 'nah, it's cold' or if you're tired you'll be like 'nah I'm tired'." ross is wise.
Then we randomly talked about how people are over-medicated/over-diagnosed, aboriginal sexual/marriage practices vs. western modern ones, and how I'm totally doing my dissertation on every single thing we were talking about. It got pretty heated and hilarious. Plus I kept coughing from the smoke so it added excitement.
I really must go study for my 2930820 finals this month. Spain is finding a way to slowly kill me. hasta luego.

panini maker

supposedly my dad read my blog and thought it'd be really nice to mail me my panini maker. but actually, please avoid sending large metal objects that I prob won't be able to bring back. that's excluding UFOs, tom cruise or anything related to extraterrestrials of course. those I love getting in the mail.

I miss...

- junior mints:
my parents got me some. I almost cried when I opened the first box. I just stared at them for like 5 full minutes and then thought "wait...somethings different...did they change the font?" OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG. and then I ate them but super slowly so each box lasts a month. I have like 5 boxes.

- sushi:
here it is really weird. one place had a hotdog in their sushi and also a banana. either its weird or just like a million dollars

- boba:
I miss that ball-y goodness.

- thai & chinese food:
pad thai and honey walnut shrimp. nuf said.

- yogurtland:
a land of YOGURT?

- free gym membership:
I guess I'm paying the rent of that apple machine

- target:
IT HAS EVERYTHING

- nail polish:
that costs less than 7 euro

- sunscreen:
that isn't the consistancy of milk

- gatorade:
I feel like I'm losing my electrolytes.

- blueberries:
totally underappreciated and so great in cereal.

- my panini maker:
like the ying to my yang, we are now separated. I'm creating balence in the universe by getting really into soup.

- bad daytime television:
they have standards here, weird. I'm writing to Dr. Phil.

- ranch dressing:
good on everything. I mean everything.

britney spears

Ok so I like Britney. I like to dance to her music. you all do, don't lie. However, stalking her on youtube one wknd instead of studying I discovered some videos that honestly made me go WHOA. the thing that sucks about Britney is she had a voice of a 20 yr old when she was like 5. Now she's older and still sounds that way. check this ish out.

here ya go for your viewing pleasure:

Star Search
Mickey Mouse Club

I make friends.

Incident 1

My friend Anna is visiting from Paris with her friend Nicole. Last night I took them to L'Ovella Negra which is like this famous tavern/bar that serves ginormous pitchers of Sangria for 10 euro. I go get our drinks and this guy next to us taps my shoulder and is like
"una pregunta" a question
- dime tell me
"eres de America?" you're from america?
- sí, porque? yes, why
"SOY DE IDAHO"
- en serio? seriously?

This begins an awkward conversation where he says (in his weird Idaho accent) that he is studying in Pamplona for some weird amount of time (not a semester, not a year). He's here with his "mexican friend" who gets up and just leaves the table as we're talking. I'm thinking oh crap this guy is gonna wanna hangout with us but to our surprise his friend returns with more beer. I try to angle myself so I can talk to Anna and Nicole without talking to this dude. However my peripheral vision reveals him awkwardly staring and doing those faces like you're gonna say something but you don't so he just uncomfortably taps his fingers on the table. Finally he leaves and slaps me on the back which makes me jump a foot above my seat and lose my breath. "OK WELL..." awkward pause, oh god he's gonna ask for our number. I cut in, "it was really nice meeting you, enjoy the rest of your trip." -OK thanks I will! Hasta Luego!
Forgot to mention he also left us with a half a pitcher of sangria that we decided was best left unfinished.

Incident 2

I'm at Parc Güell at the 3 crosses statue. This dude comes up to me that sees me taking pictures and asks if I speak Spanish. I respond yes (worst decision of my life). He starts this spiel of how he's a photographer as well and was wondering if I would like to see his pictures. I try to be nice so I ask where they are displayed. He pulls a photograph out of his jacket pocket and describes his CAVE in Tidabidabo (up on the mtn) where he has his pictures framed on the walls. Sounds charming. I point at one and realize that it is a picture of his bed. "You live in this cave also?" I ask. -Why yes of course. I also caught one of his "masterpieces" which was like hands/a man looking over the edge of a table. I think it was taken with a disposable. I told him I really didn't think I would be able to go which was a nice way of saying I AM NOT INSANE AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE CREEPY HAND PICTURES IN YOUR DARK CAVE.

Incident 3

We're walking down the hill in Parc Güell and these italian girls approach me and ask me where the Gaudí museum is. The sun wasn't out but apparently it didn't have to be because they're covered in metallics and sporting huge prada shades. I tell them that it is down the hill but that they can just walk with us because we're going in that direction. She introduces herself as JOANNA and asks me my name which makes her think I'm retarded but then realizes no, we just have the same name. This causes her to shout and clap. Her friend then introduces herself as HILLARY and I think I'm in the twilight zone. I tell them that one of my really good friends in Barca's name is Hillary. Italian Hillary just nods and smiles, shes not amused. We walk down the hill speaking engspantalian and she freaks out that I live remotely close to Los Angeles, where she intends to go on holiday this summer. When we got to the bottom I showed them the way to go and we said goodbyes. I'm pretty sure I'll see her again/get married to her since my life is freaking weird like that and that is what happens in movies. and movies are real.

spain is loser-friendly.

so far my mom has managed to lose 2 things in Spain, almost 3. Upon arrival she decided that she was going to get money from Continental Airlines for "stealing" her digital camera from her luggage. Coincidentally she found it under my bed a week later. Luckily, we didn't file the paperwork.

Then one day we went to the top of Corte Ingles (the Harrods of Spain) to grab a bite. My mom wears this black hat everywhere so I have no idea how this happened but she left it there. I thought it was like surgically attached to her head. She tells me the next day WE HAVE TO go back because it HAS TO be there. I'm kinda a lazy person. I don't lose things but if I do I figure kharma or buddha or someone is trying to tell me it is in a better place now and I really don't need it. I tell my mom she can just have my hat which is similar and she bought it for me. This is not the answer she was looking for. So we go back and miraculously (applause for my mother) Corte Ingles had found her hat and put it in some nifty back room. I was impressed.

So for christmas my mom got this super nice bracelet from my dad. They weren't supposed to gift give blah blah so it was like a pretty big deal and she liked it a lot. its really pretty. my mom comes over super upset this morning and tells me she thinks she's lost it. I don't know what to say except try to feed her hot tea and say "don't be upset ... its just a bracelet" which is probably the worst thing to say but I'm not very good at consoling. So instead I call everyplace that we went the night before on my roommates landline and speak my bad spanish trying to explain that my mom might have left her bracelet there. My last call is to Casa de Pizzas, where we went for dinner. The lady answers that yes they have the bracelet, I give her my mobile # and tell her to call me when I could come by and get it. Supposedly the owner had taken it home for safety reasons. He calls me later and tells me that even though they are closed for the holiday, he will drive down to meet me and give me the bracelet. So I walked down to the restaurant which is about 5 minutes away and he's sitting in his car. He comes out, we shake hands, I tell him thank you a million times and that he's probably prevented my mother from having a heart attack, he says happy new year and adeu. My parents want to write a letter to the mayor of Grácia. Hey gracia means graciousness. The thing is, I wasn't at all surprised. I don't know what it is but I just feel like people are more trustworthy here. I feel like so many things would never happen in the US. Well its probably because small businesses are practically non-existant due to chains thus creating a creepy detachment and removing any sense of intimacy your local restuarant used to give you.

Well anyways, come to Spain the people are nice. Also be nice and maybe others will be too.

feliz navidades

So I haven't really blogged since my parents have been here. It's been good, a little overwelming at times (I'm used to having alone time haha) but it's been great seeing them and I'm really glad they got to make the trip. I think they really enjoyed it.
we've done a lot:
- la rambla
- parc güell
- parc de la ciutatdella
- sagrada familia
- poble espanyol
- caixa forum
- picasso museum

We've been drinking a lot of cafe con leche and having a lot of crossiants. I think my parents dig the cafe life. My mom is in love with Isabel's satellite and if no one is entertaining her she must have it on. They have this channel called Cosmo (like the magazine) and it plays shit like Joan of Arcadia, Sex and the City, Men in Trees and movies at 10:30 every night. She thinks it is amazing. My dad brought his iphone thingy and plays with it like 24/7. Since being in Spain I've discovered how nice it is to be cellphone-liberated. I have one but its mostly for emergancies and texting because its expensive here.
Christmas was different. It was weird not having a tree and such but it was still good. We went to a restaurant that was recommended to my mom. I ordered us some typical spanish food: croquetas, buñuelas de bacala (cod balls), lamb and paella. It was all really rich but good. That was xmas eve. Xmas day we opened presents at my apt and I made nutella banana french toast. Isabel and Carlos have been with family so it's been nice being able to have the apt to myself and my parents can hangout here. Mom made steak, mash potatoes and vegetables. It was really good. I miss american food sometimes but I think I've had enough beef in the last week for the whole year.

It's funny when fresh americans visit, I like to watch their reactions to things. So basically I'm gonna make fun of my mom now. [to mom: remember, you love me.]
Like a drunk guy scared my mom (because he was drunk) and she SCREAMS and yells STAY TOGETHER. whereas I would just laugh and walk away.
I think my mom also thinks that almost everyone, well mostly gyspies, are hired assasins ready to kill her. I explain they are just poor and not going to hurt her.
My mom also asks why everything is the way it is. I pretty much accept things so I have no idea. So I either answer I don't know or BS some history channel-esque answer to captivate her attention.
My mom says "mande?" when she doesn't understand something. I guess its what they taught her in mexico in like the 60s but here they don't say mande and just get really confused and laugh when they realize its mexican spanish.
She also says pluma instead of boligrafo for pen. Pluma translates to feather. So I guess she went to school in Mexico with like Thomas Jefferson or she's just super vintage.
I try to tell her differences between Mexican spanish and castellano but she says she doesn't care.
My mom makes me laugh.

ham

My mom says shes consumed too much ham here. obviously she knows nothing. this just means I have to make her consume more jamon. it's on.

I wish I was a baby in barcelona.

today I was just thinking how great it is for babies here. they have the best strollers ever. I'm so jealous. They have these sleeping bag thingys that they zip around their ENTIRE bodies. they become snowman-people. they dress like mini-adults. it's adorable. I want one. they have little boots and cords and peacoats. I wish when we got old instead of just being this old hunched over pale person you would turn back into a baby. doesn't that make more sense? it's like you start a baby and end a baby. actually, maybe thats really really weird. I have no idea. Anyways, I really wish I had one of those body sleeping bags. I was thinking of just turning a sleeping bag into a dress. Wouldn't that just be the most comfortable/warm thing in the WORLD? a girl can dream.

pomegranate: día 3

So yesterday we went on this tourist bus that came with our package. If you ever get the chance I think you should do it just for the audio. Here are some memorable quotes from our virtual travel guide:
"you should try some of spain's delicacies such as ham, iberian ham, or cheese and wash it down with a fine coastal red wine".
"here is plaza de los toros, watching bullfights is a memorable delight in Spain."
he would also address me as "my dear friend". who is this guy?

we walked along the canals which were really pretty and then later went to Parque de las Ciencias which was actually really cool. They had this tower that you take an elevator to the top of and you can see the whole city from it. outside it was really similar to the exploratorium in SF because everything was super interactive and not boring. they had life-size chess and one of those distorted rooms that makes you look huge like alice in wonderland. me and mom regressed to age 5 and were determined to decipher all their weird shit like these braids that are supposedly impossible to undo.

we went in this butterfly room. this random botanist came up to us and is like WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A WORM? and yes, of course we wanted to. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A CHRYSALIS? sure, why not. I wonder if that guy is single.



Today we went to see La Alhambra. Mom wanted me to flag down a bus and yell accross the street asking where it was going. She thought it was completely ridiculous that I didn't want to make a fool of myself. eventually it came. gracias a dios.
La Alhambra was pretty sweet. the designs on the walls are so intricate, it's pretty amazing to imagine people building it and it having survived for so long.
I was walking around the bookshop and overheard an older american couple asking the lady about Washington Irving:
"we heard he lived in la alhambra, he's famous...?"
- yes yes, he wrote that famous book about the alhambra. it is what made it so famous. i forget the name in english. let me go look.
"he was american or where was he from?"
- yes he was american and it's called Tales of the Alhambra
"oh okay thank you very much."

my only reaction is ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL? it makes me so depressed that these people had a 20 yr old spanish girl explain to them someone that has huge historical significance. ever heard of rip van winkle or... sleepy hollow? weird.

well now I'm gonna make some tea and rest up for some probable monestary stalking. hasta luegs.

in the pomegranate: primer día

So I'm in Granada. Our plane was delayed like 2 hrs and we sat by these basketball players that were 7ft tall. Since Spaniards are short, 7ft tall is basically GINORMOUS. I have no idea how they fit in the seats. Plus they were sorta douche-y talking about hamburgers, dentist appointments and how wasted they were the night before.
Don't tell my mom but I think my spanish is better than hers. I'm the translator/guide for the first time in my life. I feel so smart. I deserve a sticker or a cookie.
Anyways, we get here and they put us on this bus that my mom is convinced is gonna take us to Madrid. She keeps leaning over the lady in front of us and like elbowing me in the face. Somehow I got us to our place. Also, mom failed to tell the guy when we were getting in so when I call his mobile he yelled at me in Spanish about how he had NO IDEA because I never told him and how he is a busy man. I'm like um yell at my madre, gracias. Actually he's really cool. Mom totally has some telepathic connection with Marc (like Lisbon) and got us a gay hotel. literally. but the guy is super cute, nice and hooked us up big time. I have a picture of brokeback mtn over my bed. I took a picture.
As for sights, I saw Ferdinand and Isabel's tombs. The archaeologist/indiana jones in me really wanted to open the tombs and check out some bones. I'm sick of all this hidden stuff. boring. Actually they had some pretty interesting stuff tho...like Isabel's rosary, crown, staff and robes. I was thinking 500 years isn't that long. It totally seems like it is buts its freaky to think in the timeline of civilization, its a tiny speck.
I'm on the guys communal computer right now and random Asian tourists keep popping in. It's really weird. Maybe I should get up. they prob wanna check out some manga or something. JUST KIDDING. not.

fc barcelona game

So last night we went to an fc barcelona game. I'm not big into sports but for some reason live movement makes me super excited and I can't stop stomping my feet and yelling RUN FOOL RUN. I like how in Spain instead of wearing super ugly soccer jerseys, they wear knit scarves with fc barcelona's club crest. I want the blue one, totally matches my jeans. This guy in front of us made me laugh. He was like 70 yrs old with his mp3 player obviously tuned to listen to the play by play. I think he pretty much owned the seat he was sitting in. He's eating this ham & cheese bocadillo (sandwich on a baguette) and I'm just thinking YOU'RE SO SPANISH.
In Spain you're not allowed to drink at sporting events. I think the logic is basically alcohol and sports is to Spain what booze and driving is to America. Ethanol and testerone mix to create this level of insanity that usually leads to a 5x5 room reeking of urine. These guys sorta by us are drinking smuggled in Estrella's and whenever a goal is made they take of all of their upper layers and start waving them around in the air. They're not gay, they're just European (I make the mistake all the time). We move to sit by Emily, one of Hillary's friends from Davis, and there is this Brazilian guy there. He starts asking me how you say pie in spanish. I say Tarta. His other friend starts arguing with me and saying it is a cake. I'm saying NO cake is more starch based and obviously the main ingredient in pie is FRUIT or something of the sort. Then I sit there and am like "why the hell am I arguing about pastries with Brazilians. jesus". Whatever, he was sorta nice I guess. I feel bad 'cause I just wanna improve my spanish so I don't mind talking to strangers but then there comes a point when they want your number or ask what you guys are up to and you're like "OOHH you were genuinely interested in being my friend. sorry."
Anyways the game was fun. Next time I wanna sit in the cheap general seats 'cause everyone sings the chants and does crazy waves. THEY ARE SO GOOD AT THE WAVE. okay, next time.

carlitos

backstory: I live with Isabel, a single woman in her 40s, her best friend is Carlos aka Carlitos. I'm still baffled to his sexual orientation. He spends the night a lot but is like 5'3 (shorter than me, really) and an actor/website designer.. So he's either her boyfriend or her gay best friend. I have no idea. He's really animated and excited about life. He does the running man and says TENGO PRISA when he is in a hurry. we have wonderful conversations about religion, politics and his bad haircuts. the past 2 days have made me realize I should probably document our encounters.

incident 1: Tues Dec 11 at 8pm
Carlos calls me from the kitchen. "JOANNNA JOANNNNNNA" I am reading and writing a paper for my stupid ethnology class.
-Sí?
[translated] "Let me show you something!"
-ok
"you see, you put this thing in the freezer... (pointing at plastic object) and you fill it with water and then it freezes."
- [nodd and make confused face]
"look you take this out and it is frozen! and then you put alcohol in it!"
- wait... its a frozen shot glass?
"yes yes! for you! because you drink... yes?"
- sure. great. thanks carlitos.
"oh yes yes very good"


incident 2: Wed Dec 12 at 7:50 pm
carlos: "joanna, I am having a problem with facebook. I do not understand something."
- you don't understand something? do you need help?
"yes, yes. come here."
So I go over and look at his facebook. Yes carlitos has a facebook. Turns out he added some weirdass application where you can like give people high fives and hugs. Someone gave him a high 5 and he "bitch-slapped" them in return by accident. He was like
"what do i do? can i take it back? i didn't want to BEEEETCH SLAAAP him!"
- Just leave a msg on his wall saying it was an accident.
"I don't know him. we're not friends"
- you bitch slapped him and you're not friends?
"yes, but i do not want to bitch slap!"
- maybe send him a hug?

This goes on for a while and I explain to him that the guy probably created the application and sends it to 100s of ppl and people probably accidently "bitch slap" him all the time and the guy won't take it personally. As I'm saying this I notice his wall which is hilarious. He has a picture of himself with a huge fro and giddy smile. It also shows albums, one of which profiles Carlos with his head leaning romantically on a tree. Carlos has high fived like every person he knows including himself (at 6:58 pm). In the end he is very grateful for my facebook help. I think he should lay off it for a while.

Madrid: City of wigs.

So this last Thursday I went to Madrid. I took a 7hr bus ride with Ross and Marc, Hillary came in later that day via plane. Ross and Marc were staying with their friend Livy and we stayed with our friend Travis from Cádiz. Here's the play by play.

Thursday December 6
We get into Madrid meet up with Livy who was basically our tour guide for the wknd. She takes us to Puerta de Sol and where all the cool madrileños hangout. We're walking down the street and all of a sudden I see this 40 yr old man wearing fake green eyelashes and a green wig with pigtails. I am confused. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MADRID. Walk further. We see millions of small children wearing long purple, orange, red wigs. It's a religious holiday so I don't know, maybe they celebrate with wearing fake hair. But if Jesus is for it, well then so am I.



Later on we head to this place that's supposedly famous for sangria. you get like 2 liters of it and your own tap + free patatas. good deal. after we get some drinks we head back to Travis's to hangout. Travis leaves to go dance with drag queens or whatever he does in the gay district. I actually really wanted to go. Next time. So we stay in and just drink and chillar. Somehow this turns into some odd dance party. I put on Paula Abdul "straight up" and me and ross break out some sexy dance moves. Livy asks him to dance with the chair. I think she meant like Britney Spears in the "stronger" video but Ross more interpreted it as like his 8th grade dance partner. It's all on videotape, unfortunately. I also created my own demise because for the rest of the wknd Ross would start "..Lost in a dream..." and I would continue "I don't know which way to gooo..." Sorry Paula.

Friday December 7
We take it easy, deciding we'll leave serious museo stuff for Saturday. We need food and finally settle on this little restaurant that has menu del dia for 8 euro. menu del dia is pretty much what you have to do for lunch in spain. it's not a bad deal cuz it usually includes 2 courses, drinks, bread and possibly dessert or cafe. Our waiter is fascinated by our American-ness and tells me if I know to put olive oil and vinegar on my salad. I do, thanks. There is a tv behind us and it starts flashing images of Pam Anderson and old Charlies Angels. He asks me "Conoces los angeles de charlie?" Yeah, we're best friends. Then when he leave he says "Adios America". I don't know if that means we can come back.
We see this cool temple that the Egyptians donated and hangout at this park. I forget what its name is but you can see like the entire city from it, has gorgeous views. We decide we wanna walk towards the palace and cathedral. It was really pretty. You can see the seasons change a lot more in Madrid. The leaves were the prettiest shade of yellow and orange. Plus, the weather was pretty nice that day, like high 40s or 50s.
One of travis & livy's friends is a vegan and apparently a really good cook. She offers to do a vegan feast for us which was pretty amazing. kudos to her. we had handmade spring rolls w/sweet&sour sauce, quinoa with veggies, fried plantains with a vanilla cream sauce. I'm totally gonna make some of that stuff but maybe add some meat...
After dinner the guys wanna go to a bar. Hillary wants to see her friend from home that is studying in Madrid and they decide to go to Capital. Capital is the biggest club/discoteca in Madrid and like 8 stories high. supposed to be insane. I would've gone but for some reason had absolutely no desire to go to a club, pay a cover charge, stay up til 7am. I figure I can do that in Barcelona. So I opted for the bar scene. We ended up at this weird cave bar, no one apparently had money because we're retarded. It was already 2am so i decided I would just head back to Travis's and sleep. A few people from dinner are still there watching Casablanca making weird references to how some snowboarding movie is based on it. I stayed up til like 4am talking to travis and nick, both from cadiz. it's weird not seeing everyone for so long and realizing we were only together a month and have been in our host cities for like 4. It's cool to see how different everyone's experiences are.

Saturday December 8
Hillary came in at like 7:30 am from Capital. I don't know how she planned on being able to function, but she did for a while. We headed over to the Prado which had a huge line going around it and it was like 30 degrees out. I could see my breath. It was pretty gnar. I just looked at Velázquez and Goya because the place is huge and pretty overwhelming. I took a pic of Las Meninas and some lady yelled at me. I don't care, I got it.


{las meninas}

After that we went and got menu del dia at some place nearby. The food was pretty good and the guy gave me an entire bottle of wine. what a nice guy. Then off to El Retiro which is their equivalent to Central Park. It's really beautiful, full of gardens and fountains.


{el retiro}

As the sun set we decided to head back and get people together for dinner. We went to this one place that was kinda over-priced but good. We got like half the shit we ordered because our waiter got wasted and forgot, then charged us for shit we didn't ask for. After we go to this sidra bar (hard cider) where you get free tapas with your drinks. that place was sooo good. we got more food for like 3 euro each than that other place. it was kinda gross tho cuz its suppppper packed and theres like toothpicks and napkins all over the floor.

Sunday December 9
We wake up at 10 and head to El Rastro, the open air flea market in Madrid. It was really cool. Stuff is super cheap. They have all kinds of clothes & jewelry. you name it they prob have it. Then we went to get churros con chocolate which was pretty delish. We headed to Reina Sofia before it closed. I got to see Picasso's "Guernica" and Dali's "The Great Masturbator". Guernica was pretty amazing, there is so much hidden in the painting and they had photos taken that showed his process and those were really interesting. I liked being able to see what he eventually painted over or added. I like staring at Dali and figuring out every hidden little thing. you could stand there for hrs. there was this cute like 5 yr old spanish girl finding stuff in the painting, she totally helped me out. I like how she's more cultured than me.

The bus ride home was definitely more painful than the way there. Ross's books got stolen. Well actually he left them on the bus during a stop (which you're not supposed to do) and someone took them. I tried to get him to yell at people but he wouldn't. The lady next to me told me that some old man took them cuz he thought someone left them. Ross asked the bus driver to say something but he just cursed and said he didn't wanna start a fight or something. We got home at 2:30 am but at around 1 he starts playing really bad wannabe Shakira & weird disco remixes at an unnatural volume. By the time we get off I just want to stab the radio. All in all it was a really good trip. However, I need to take a break from traveling. It definitely wears you out.

too much time on an autobus.

{zaragoza}

So this wknd (fri-sat) I did a field trip with my program to Zaragoza, Fuendetodos and Belchite. I mostly just went for the slumber party, free food and wine. Our "tour" was led by "La Guerra Civil (civil war)" Profesor and he never stopped talking. He discovered a microphone on the bus and it was pretty horrible. He yelled into it and described everything. "This off ramp is where the anarchists stopped in their tracks!.... Chorizo used to be more expensive here...they made this palace for Alfonso... the list goes ON and ON. He basically found historical relevance in everything. The first 15 were fine but what soon turned into 4 hrs was unbearable. He was a cute old man though so I give him props for even putting up with us.

{belchite}

We saw some churches, palaces, Goya museum (only had sketches) and ruins. The latter was my favorite. Belchite was really interesting and left an impression on me. It was where the Nazi's bombed the republicanas (left wing) during the Spanish Civil War. It was one of the most gravely affected cities, losing almost all its inhabitants. Spain has left it untouched as a place to go to remember the destruction and devastation of the war. It's like what Picasso was trying to do when he painted Guernica, except its real and you can see it with your own eyes.

{viejo pueblo de belchite...}

Back tracking a little, we first went to Zaragoza to see La Seo, the Aljafería, and this catedral that I forget the name of, probably something to do with Pilar (they love her). La Seo was pretty insane. It dated back to the 11th century, I was trying to make a mental timeline and I was holy crap, the middle ages, I don't even know what was going on. We thought we heard monks singing and Ross went to go investigate only to discover that they were speakers coming out of the pillars. that's not right. I wikipedia'd it and apparently Mohammed's brother (can't remember exact relation) was involved like 2,000 years ago in creating it because it was originally a mosque.

{archway in la Aljafería}

After that we went to this palace. I didn't really know what was going on at that point because my attention span was dwindling but I think important stuff happened there. It's called La Aljafería and is the 3rd most important piece of Islamic architecture still standing in Spain. Supposedly when the Christian Kings pushed the Moors out and made it their own they made a lot of the decisions for the Inquisition inside the Palace, we saw the boardrooms and stuff. After that we went to this catedral that was beautiful and HUGE. I got in trouble for taking pictures and only got like 3. Supposedly it has original Goya's hanging inside. I didn't catch them. It was funny because there were a lot of people confessing when we were there which kinda creeped me out. You could like hear them. And they had this little red light above the box that lit up when it was busy. Also they have this saint, Pilar, which you're supposed to kiss. There was like this huge line, half spaniards, half asian tourists. I didn't do it. I thought it would probably be sacrilegious of me. My jewish friend Yael really wanted to confess and thought since I look christian I would have some kinda idea how to do it. She was wrong. I was like uh don't do it. I don't think Catholics are big on jews confessing. I think you say something in the beginning ("forgive me father for I have sinned"?) and then do a bunch of hail mary's and you have to have some rosary beads. we decided it was too much work and she gave up. So much for that.

{candelas en la catedral}

Then we headed to Fuendetodos, this TINY town. Literally, they had 1 bar, 1 restaurant, 1 hostel, 1 casino. Coincidentally the bar, restaurant and casino are all one place. We stayed in the only hostel and took up the entire place. We heard that the city actually really looks forward to us coming every year since they only have like 200 inhabitants. We were staying there because it was the city where Goya was born and lived until he was 8. It has his museum which was really interesting, I loved his sketches, and we also saw his childhood home and walked around inside. 

lisboa: land of big jesus and mucho fish.

{a house in lisboa}

Well me and hillary got to Lisbon and had the first day to ourselves to wander and attempt to figure out the city. It's honestly so beautiful. It's sorta like what the baby of Spain and France would like, but better. The buildings are covered in beautiful tiles. Also, I swear Lisbon is the BRIGHTEST city in the world. it's like someone has a mirror/magnifying glass over it. you'd step out of the shade and be blinded. it was really pretty by the water because reflection makes the homes glisten. The sky was the prettiest blue and makes every picture look almost fake. I swear Portuguese is a made up language. its not real. I watched Portuguese television at one point to try to put my linguistic skills to the test. I feel like its more just noises. like the sponge goes squish squish. its like they are just doing sound effects. I can read it but understanding it was something completely different. Also, since Spain controlled Portugal for 90 yrs and then followed that with a horrible dictatorship, people aren't big on being bilingual. I'd be like hablas/farlas (Portuguese) espanol? PORTUGUES. o ingles? PORTUGUES. okay this is going to be difficult... We were trying to find this Fado museo I heard about so I go up to a parking attendant and I ask the usual. She says "un poquito" y ingles? "a little". Hmm. So I ask and she answers completely in Portuguese. I don't really know what she said but it was something parla sigsha blah blah derecho y izquierda (last word is spanish). So apparently when you ask if they speak another language it doesn't mean they speak it as well as they can sorta understand it enough to answer in portuguese. Also, they apologize to YOU for not knowing english. I'm like hey don't feel bad, I actually am in your country. you're supposed to speak it. Somehow we found the museum.


{me and hillary}

The Museu de Fado was pretty cool. I read about it in my book and it was only 1.50 w/student discount so I thought it'd be something to do. Fado is sorta their version of flamenco in Spain (the music, not the dance). it's basically the music of the common man singing about melancholy, pain, angst, love, happiness, peace. all the good ones. It was actually pretty interesting. They had original song lyrics and poetry that was banned during Salazar's rule and it was cool to see the red pen that crossed out words and wrote PROHIBIDO. They had this room that was set up to like like an original Fado House which is kinda like a club/tavern. The people look like they're made of wax and if you stare long enough they start to look real. it's pretty frightening. I went to the bathroom after we were discussing the possibilities of it being "the ring: fado" horror movie and I look and the only thing written on my stall door is my name. I took a picture. Fado ghosts are after me.




{monasterio en Belém}

After that we saw the castle which basically is just cool for pics and views. super pretty. Supposedly back in like 1500s they had 2 lions guarding it. gnarly huh? After that we went to this monestary in Belém which is another barrio about 6km outside central lisbon. It was crazy seeing things that were put up when Christopher Columbus was discovering new worlds. Something I looked at has been there for like 500 years. its amazing. after that we decided to meet up with ross, adam and marc who had gotten there earlier in the day. Tangent: Earlier in the day I tried leaving a note for the guys at the hostel desk but the dude was like "there is no one coming under that name" and I'm like that is sooo weird. I'm like go figure, marc probably like booked the wrong day or country or they're in a gay hostel or something. I see them and basically repeat this to which they answer "WE ARE IN A GAY HOSTEL..." They didn't really realize it at first but certain things tipped them off... like the pictures of Judy Garland and 20's silent movie film stars going up the stairs... the box of individually wrapped condoms by the desk... the striped gay flag over the door... the heart pillows on the 3 twin beds...the framed pictures of naked tattooed indigenous men in loin cloths and Portuguese male model shots above their bed. Should I go on? haha well I won't but they were good sports. They took the massive teasing of me and hillary. we're still convinced they're secretly gay for each other. it's pretty obvious.


{at the castle}

Dinner was a little ridiculous. Our waiter decided to randomly hand feed us things like GOAT or SQUID. they were actually both very good but I'm gonna leave those off the menu for a while.
Saturday we all decided to hangout. We couldn't think of specific things we wanted to do so we just walked around and adventured. They have this bridge that looks exactly like the golden gate, they actually had one of the same engineers work on it and that's why. We wanted to cross it but we walk all the way there and find out that only cars can. The guys see some "botanical garden" and they wanna check it out. we go in and its sorta spooky because it looks abandoned. the buildings are pink and really beautiful but all the plants are over grown and statues are broken or fallen over. There are random guards protecting it carrying huge guns. My theory was that it was private property before the dictatorship and then Salazar took it and made it govt property, thus turning it to shit. Me and hillary passed out on the grass while the guys explored. I read about Belarus and Bosnia (getting thru the B's in my travel book) and I've decided I really wanna go to Sarajevo.


{that guard had an AK-47}


{sunset}

We come back and watch the sunset at this cafe the boys had found that has a great view. we decide to go back to their hostel, picking up port, wine, cheese and crackers along the way. Marc had been talking about needing a haircut for a while and everyone decides he should get one right now. A unanimous vote decided I should do it but I could not take the pressure so Ross took the small kindergarten-style scissors he found downstairs and went to Marc's head. It ended up not that bad at all but it was extremely painful to watch.


{ross cutting marc's hair}

After that we decide we should get some actual dinner and as we are walking down the street when we see this warehouse all lit up. It has images projected on the walls and music or voices playing. We stare in the windows and this man comes out and is like "come inside!". Bad idea. I don't know what it was. some kinda art/cult/political/activist shit but it was WEIRD. It was 2 stories covered in beds with weird quotes on them like "I don't know" in all caps which summed up my thought processes very well. random people posing in period garb or just leopard robes. They would randomly move when you weren't looking. We walk in and he hands us hats to put on. me and hillary had this weird flapper-esque headdresses. I couldn't stop laughing/freaking out. Ross took a video and I'm whispering LETS GO the entire time we're in there. I guess its a good story.

Well that pretty much sums up Lisbon. It was super cool and surprising and I recommend going there if you do a europe trip, which you should. When we were walking thru security at the airport they had this quote that I thought was cool. It totally loses value because Mastercard used it and made it cheesy but it said "discover the city that discovered the world". I really liked it because you forget how this countries were the wealthiest, most influential countries in the world at one point and now they seem somehow insignificant. Spain with the kingdom of Aragon had one of the biggest Empires following Rome. It's pretty insane to think about. Anyways, food for thought. Next stop: Madrid on December 6th.

exámenes parciales

So I had my first midterms and papers due this week. It brought a harsh reality that I am here to study. Luckily, I am not an idiot and I somehow get through school quite easily. Maybe its because I don't take things like calc but whatever.

So I had my first paper due for my anthro class. I was seriously scared. She's a little insane and scary and finds reasons to hate students. We had to write about communal property in rural spain. criticisms for and against it, how it functions, and egalitarianism. We had to base it on this 20 pg article that had vocabulary that I swear was made up. Also, there would be quotations from like 16th century spanish that seriously didn't look like spanish, its like if Shakespeare was bilingual. However I kind of think I write better in Spanish. For some reason I just think my vocabulary and sentence structure is probably a lot better because I actually think about it. Whereas in English you'll be like umm that sounds right, right?

My core classes were a total joke. they're the ones that only kids in my program are in. But its like a legit class with normal teachers. Our hispanolit teacher gave us the questions ahead of time and let us make an outline and ppl were still having panic attacks. I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME. you have the option of putting everything on paper and bringing it. you must be an idiot. haha. I've come to the conclusion that about 99.9% of people are morons and when you meet non-morons you should really appreciate how they can do simple tasks like pick up a pencil or understand a joke because really it is something to be valued. I haven't met any spanish people that are morons. Maybe its the jamon or the wine, maybe both. Maybe its the lack of televison and their love of poetry. Who knows. BUT ANYWAYS, back to the topic at hand. So I probably aced that one. I just got back from another one that was cake. I seriously called those questions. Everyone was like OMG WHAT COULD SHE ASK. I made up 2 fakes one and they were on it. I probably have esp.

So this semester is halfway over and I will celebrating this achievement not with ham and stuffing, but with a trip to portugal. I couldn't sleep last night so at 1:30 am I decided to create an itinerary for me, hillary, ross and adam. I've learned I'm actually quite good at it. I'm fitting in seeing the sights which include a monestary, castle and this modern art museu that has frank gehry stuff from the 70s. Also theres some really cool blues/jazz clubs right on the water, a nightly drag show (so excited), port bars and I wanna eat a lot of tarts (supposedly lisbon is famous for them). I will be sure to upload pics as soon as I'm back.

Bona tarda.

tinc vinti-u anys!

AT LAST.

So you are probably wondering how I am actually typing right now. My parents actually used the phrase "don't hurt yourself" as their parting words on their birthday call. But don't worry I survived, not scathed too badly. And mom- you don't need to send me hangover pills. Don't you think thats sorta a Catch-22? It's like I am going to drink to the extent that I will feel like shit tmw if I don't take this pill. Okay, actually that's probably the mindset of every teenager. but still.

So I'll give you the play by play of yesterday. Hillary was gonna wake me up with pumpkin pancakes but was too hungover so I went to the gym and then studied til 3 and we had some "afternoon crepes and tea". They were fabulous. She got me cava (hence spurring the cava dance), a couple books that I'm totally stoked about and an advent calendar :) Then we had dinner at this little local tavern place that was cute. I was sorta freaked out at first cuz everyone had huge sausages on their plates and our server was a midget. But everything we had was really good sooo 2 thumps up. good job hillary.

We then decided to hit up some cool music bars I found online. IT WAS GOING TO BE PERFECT. we get there and one guy says we're TOO young to go in. I'm like whaaat, i'm so much older than 18 this does not fly. he proceeds to explain "es un club para viejos, todos son mejores de 25 años" (they're all old- over 25). Then the other place I wrote down is CLOSED due to noise complaints. feck. So we go to this bar Pipermint that is supposed to be really good. Me and karli have to go pee SO bad. So somehow she gets dibs and I'm waiting. She manages to get LOCKED inside. I ask her to scoot a bobby pin under and this spanish lady is trying to pick the lock. then A GUY comes and starts like attacking the door. finally karli emerges and i'm like whatever, i'm not locking that shit. so instead of sitting around drinking we decide to mingle. or karli does. she manages to meet the russian mafia. i'm dead serious. actually one guy was probably a russian spy bc we were speaking spanish and when he finds out we're from CA he starts busting out, completely accent free, american english. he has never been to america. and i'm like whoaaa. then I meet this russian that subsequently is 21 also (total lies). He was like 10 ft tall, wearing a leather jacket and could only speak 2 languages- Russian and Catalan. Out of all the languages in the world, those 2? really? so we tried our really bad catalan on him which was basically "em dic joanna, tinc vintun anys, sóc de california." Our friends Gabe and William were trying to meet up with us so me and karli move towards the front of the door. I do not know if I am remembering this correctly but I believe Karli tried to open this secret door and we ran away. I think it had like crates of beer in it. the bouncers comes up to us and deja and is like ESTAS TRES, AFUERA! (these 3 out!). GREAT. So we got "kicked out of a bar" crossed off the list. We walk around aimlessly finally finding ourselves in gracia at our normal hole-in-the-wall called Mon Bar. It's really cheap, has a free jukebox and is like 2 min from my apt. vale. We pretty much stay there til it closes. besos y abrazos and then we adeu.

Thanks to everyone that came. Thanks for the packages I'm anticipating, the skype calls, the emails and the love. te echo de menos més que tu saps. ps. I'll have a cool foto to accompany this blog very soon.

once.

On sunday night we decided to continue our ritual of movie-going and see Once. An Irish film by director John Carney. It profiles the lives of 2 characters, boy and a girl. One is a street musician in Dublin that also works nights fixing Hoover vacuums at his father's shop. The other is a czech immigrant married to a man that is countries and oceans away. She raises her infant daughter and supports her mother by selling flowers and cleaning homes. The girl is humerous in her honesty. She incessantly asks him who the protagonist of his love songs are. She finds out he also fixes vacuums and comes to the place he plays the next day with her hoover asking if he will take a look. Her stubborn friendliness leads him to find out that she too plays an instrument. She leads him to the back of a piano shop where the owner lets her play on breaks. They harmonize and so begins the essence of the movie. The majority is just them talking and making music. I adored her voice. I think her accent definately had something to do with it. You constantly think something romantic will happen but it doesn't. There is this one scene where she is writing lyrics for one of his songs that I absolutely loved. You totally got into her head and her voice is really terrifying in its rawness. She makes me wish I could sing or make music (period).

I think what I liked best about the film was that it never felt like a movie. I felt like I was watching real life. The characters were so real, flawed, vunerable, awkward. They were common and not at the same time. They were nameless, they were you and me. It showed how life can be predictable and can not be. How sometimes it ends up how it shoudn't or not how you wished. Sometimes the chance only comes once. But in the end, you chose it. and that's life. This is one of the best movies I have seen thus far. Go see it.

also, if you want good music.. download these songs: If You Want Me, Falling Slowly, When Your Mind's Made Up, Fallen From the Sky. Actually, just DL the whole album. That's what I did.

public transportation is not my amigo.

So the other day I was kinda feeling bleh. you know those days that you just can't put your finger on it but you just feel off. So I decided to skip class and go to Zara instead. Actually, to be honest I skipped class bc I was hungry. I've decided that your day should not be rushed and if skipping class is what you have to do to enjoy a meal, well by all means do it. Health is a priority. After I ate I jumped on the metro and went to Plaça Catalunya to do some shopping. Zara is this dept store in Spain that is amazing. I love it. Everything is like really reasonably priced. We have them in the US (southcoast plaza) but its not the same merchandise at all and in Spain they are like 5 stories tall. I decided to exchange this jacket I got for boots and I start to feel weird. As a child my mom used Coca Cola as a cure for most things so I went to a stand and bought one. I decided right then that I would like to go home. I'm kinda sick of the metro and like the buses cuz you can see the city more. So I see a bus in front of me and I get on it. All the shopping is on Passieg de Gracia which turns into the main street by where I live. Usually all the buses just go up Passieg. This was a special bus. It went up Passieg a little and turned. I was like Oh crap. This old man next to me started poking/jabbing me with his cane and cursing this lady by me. I was like ummm, weird. So I decide to get up and get off. I didn't know where I was so I walk around for 15 min aimlessly and walk up to a woman and say "perdona, sabes donde esta el metro?" she wasn't from the neighborhood. walk around some more. I see a lesbian couple. I ask. They point someplace in the distance. I walk some more. Finally I get there. I see a bus stop. I contemplate. I mentally slap myself. I keep walking to the metro. It's only yellow and blue line (I'm green) so I take yellow. I get off someplace thats about a 20 min walk from where I live. After much confusion and way too much walking, I get home probably an hour later than I should have. Moral of the story: don't get on something when you don't know where it's going.

my [current] favorite songs til now.

I was bored and decided to compile this. here is a random foto I took to go with it. there is no particular order.

rolling stones- angie, beast of burden
fiona apple- first taste
beatles- here comes the sun
the band- the weight
pink floyd- wish you were here
cranberries- linger, dreams
cardigans- love fool
CCR- bad moon rising
bill withers- ain't no sunshine
beach boys- god only knows
no doubt- sunday morning, don't speak
jose gonzalez- heartbeats & crosses
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova- if you want me
angela McCluskey- it's been done
maxine nightingale- right back where we started from
mates of state- these days (cover)
nina simone- feeling good
bob dylan- it ain't me babe
the zombies- time of the season
jimi hendrix- angel
alanis morissette- you oughta know
mason jennings- ulysses, southern cross
pete bjorn and john- young folks
queen- don't stop me now, Bohemian Rhapsody
mika- clark gable
van morrison- moondance
weezer- say it ain't so
the mamas & the papas- monday, monday
david bowie- changes, waterloo sunset

I went to America for dinner.

So I have come to the conclusion that when you enter a hardrock cafe you are actually teleported to Detroit, Michigan. I guess it could be any other US city but it was America. I settled on Detriot because everyone was super loud and people aren't loud in LA. haha. It was so weird. Like I felt if I bought a drink I'd have to show ID. The menus were in ENGLISH, we ordered in ENGLISH and they even asked us how our meal was AND gave the check without asking. They gave us a cup of ice AND ranch dressing! the list could go on forever. I was like oh my god. I ORDERED A CHEESEBURGER. I almost died. it was worth every penny which would add up to 1300 pennies. Except there were all these drunk scottish men. I guess FC Barcelona was playing Scotland. they sang every song at the top of their lungs, off key, and bowed whenever Paul McCartney was on. apparently they are not worthy. I've decided Hard Rock Cafe is where foreigners go that don't fit in. They get tired of pretending they can handle the weird sauces and mass quanities of tomatoes. They come to Hard Rock and feel safe. They can watch U2 videos and Elvis Presley in the same night. they even played "living in america" which made me say WE ARE NOT LIVING IN AMERICA. I found it amusing haha. I went up to ask a woman about the bathrooms and she answered me in spanish! i was like finally, i'm not foreign! weird. anyways, when I'm missing the good ol US of A I know where I will go. Sad, but true.

AmsterDammmmm

Amsterdam. wow was this wknd a blur. probably one of the most scenic, beautiful places i have seen. whenever i would turn my head i swore i was looking into a postcard. you can't believe it or capture it in a picture. the streets are tight and weave all into eachother. the homes look like peter pan should be walking out with wendy. they're all from the 1700s. they look the same= grey, brown, white. but they'll paint their shutters all different colors and add details that make them each look distinctive. EVERYTHING IS IN DUTCH. dude dutch is so weird. when i first got there it was just weird not being in Spain. I kept wanting to say "hola", "sabes donde está...", "sí" and "perdona", the latter i could not replace with "excuse me" for the life of me so i just said perdona, at least i didn't sound american. when we'd see spanish or catalan tourists we'd be like omg amigos! haha. to properly explain this wknd i'll just lead you on a little mental tour from thurs to sat.


thursday november 1, 2007

we get to amsterdam around 9:15 and go to our hostel. our friends william and jim were gonna stay with us and we're really glad they did cuz we practically stayed in the red light. we had a perfect location tho. our hostel was super nice. its called the hotel winston and was in my guide book. if you're traveling on a budget and are with a group i totally recommend it. it was just as nice as a hotel for someone my age. its has like a young hippie music vibe to it and you can request rooms that have art from local artists. we didn't pay more so i don't know how we got one but it had this huge jigsaw puzzle on the wall. it was the puzzle room. creative.



once we got our stuff in there we wanted to explore. we lived right off damm square which is the center of the city. the city is a circle. a circle i got to know like the back of my hand. i bought this super handy travel book that basically made me the guide/planner for the trip. anyways, jim and william wanted to go to their first coffee shop. you probably already know but marajuana is legal in Holland. Supposedly only 5% of the dutch population actually smokes the plant but upon entering amsterdam you beg to differ. they only sell it in coffee shops bc you cannot have a liquor license and a license to sell weed. so they have 2 menus at each coffee shop. one with drinks like fresh squeezed juice, coffee or tea and the other with weed, hash and pre-made joints. i really don't know how people function in this city but the liberal, easy-going attitude is definately attractive and you begin to appreciate it. also i saw hardly any drunk ppl, unlike nights in barcelona where pretty much everyone is drinking. the first coffee shop the guy was super rude. he got pissed cuz i only had a copy of my documents to prove my age so i had to walk back to the hotel and get my shit and come back. i wanted to kill him. then i come back and sit on a stool by our table. his friend comes over and tells me i am blocking the entrance even tho i had been sitting there for like 15 min before he said anything. i was just like "dude, how can i make you happy? i am just here to make you happy. would you rather me sit in a chair or maybe hillarys lap? how bout i move over here?" luckily my patronizing sarcastic tone didn't translate, he just thought i was super nice. we decide we're hungry and go get some chinese. i've been itching for asian food for so long so we hit up this chinese place called "the dragon" or something ridiculous. it was not that great and over-priced but it worked and then we went to meet up with our friends that we're staying at the far end of the city. we basically just walked around a bit and went back. walking the red light was weird but i expected it to be worse. the first time you see a hooker you're just like whoaaa. and it kinda freaks you out. everytime i'd walk by a window i would be like "aw go home. be a secretary or a dental hygenist, come onnn" but the men had the not-surprising response of "hey joanna, maybe they LIKE what they do". yeah um, doubtful. it is weird that such a beautiful romantic city has filth. it has this somber, quaint beauty and then you look to the other side and you see sad, inebriated filth. you see businessmen drunk and cheering. i'm one of those people that can't help but have an emotional attachment to things. i don't ignore things or stare at the ground. you can't ignore emotion, truth or just what happens in life.


friday november 2, 2007

We woke up around 9:30 to go to Anne Frank's house. That was the one thing I am so glad I did in Amsterdam. it was amazing. an insane experience. pulling back the same bookcase the Franks did and touching their books. the staircases. we saw the posters from otto´s jelly company that used to cover the walls. i didn't know but it was actually his factory warehouse they lived over. none of the workers knew except his business partner who he signed the company over to but covertly continued to run. they had pictures of the outside of the house from the street and it looked the same as now. her diary is normally on display but sadly they were restoring it or something and had a "facsimilie", they had a bunch of those. anne loved movie stars and told her friends she always wanted to be famous. well she is. she had all these magazines her dad would smuggle in for her that had all the glamorous american film stars on them. she cut up pictures and pasted them to the walls. fireplaces, sinks and anything adhered to the wall was the exact same. most of the furniture was out, supposedly otto (the sole survivor) requested that there be no furniture. i don't know why but if it was fake then i agree.



after that, we just bummed around. went to this smoke shop called 36 that we hungout at a lot. it had like a lot of booths and was right on the canal. we looked for a place to eat and found this super good brasserie. me and hillary split a goat cheese, sundried tomato, serrano ham sandwich and a cesear salad. it was delish. then we met up with everyone to do the Heineken Experience. We get there and it says closed til may 2008!!! whaaaat. we were soooo sad. so we didn't get to do that. i'm gonna come back to amsterdam probably in spring but i doubt it'll be open by then. after that, i look in my book and wanna check out this asian fusion place. it was really good. i hadn't had REAL asian food in SO long. it was amazing. and cheap :) we left, bummed around, got some snacks, headed back to bed. amsterdam is known for their french fries. its like in pulp fiction when Vincent is like "You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?" Jules: What? "Mayonnaise." Jules: Goddamn. "I've seen 'em do it, man. They fucking drown 'em in that shit."

saturday november 3, 2007

we get up and go get bagels. I hadn't had a bagel in SO long. seriously, amsterdam almost cured my food nostalgia. i got like a jug of coffee. in europe they give you tiny cups and here they had the option of LARGE. which was amazing. we then go to the old church. its this smoke shop thats pretty well known and was the first one william ever went to. he grew up in holland so he was helpful. jim probably has gotten to every coffee shop in amsterdam haha. then we went to the Van Gogh museum which was really tight. I liked the way they had it set up a lot. they would have walls with different periods with the date and place and gave a backrgound of what was going on with his life at the time. my favorites were the white orchards i think. they were done in 1889 and i believe he killed himself in 1890. it didn't take that long to see all his work and i totally recommend going if you're ever in holland.

so pretty much my trip consisted of eating good food, taking pictures, walking, anne frank, van gogh, and coffee shops. when i go back in spring i want to: rent canal boats/bikes, go to heineken, hit up the steldjik museum which has andy warhol and eat more asian.

GNARLY

So today me and karli didn't go to class and went to la boqueria instead. well our teacher didn't show up and our 2nd class is pointless so she just gave us a good reason. On the way back on the metro karli was complaining about how she hates escalators bc everyone stands super close to you. we get off at the top and this lady pulls us aside and tells karli her backpack was unzipped by the man behind her and to look thru it and make sure nothing is missing. this guy that she was with grabs the guy and talks to him over in a corner. i'm like "dudeeee what is going on??!" and the lady flashes a badge at us super covertly and I'm like "oh shittt, she's an undercover cop!" Karli can sorta understand what is happening but is totally freaked out so I'm basically translating bc the lady's english and Karli's spanish were just not functioning. everything turned out fine but the cop asked if she could claim karli's ipod was in the front pocket bc if something valuable is within reach then he has to stay in jail 2 nights versus be let out in 2 hrs. apparently in spain, trying to steal and stealing are the same offense. so the cop just checks out the worth of the objects within his grasp and thats whats makes or breaks if he has to stay overnight. GNARLY, thats all I have to say.

in full view

going abroad is an odd thing. move to a foreign country, speak a foreign language and have to make all new friends. its like being out on your own... being an adult...but to a whole new level. when you do it you realize you can do so much with your life. you have endless options and possibilities. some people think moving across the globe is a big endevour. that you must have a certain amount of time or a lack of priorities or life. you must have money or go to a fancy school. those things help but no one has that much time and we all have lives and excuses for lack of action. i realized how enriching it is to make a change. to connect with people on a totally different level. to go to the same coffee shop everyday and not have to finish your sentence. joking with my senora/madre isabel and having her make me try weird food and listen to her angry lesbian music (actually she has amazing taste in music, i will give her that). Just walking to the metro and hearing a musician play "here comes the sun" on his banjo. spending 3 hrs eating, ordering more wine, coffee, pastries and just talking. realizing how important it is to enjoy life. walking, not driving. talking to my neighbors in the elevator. to see a site that was ravaged by war but then see a building that is thousands of years old. tree-lined streets and tiny cars. stopping to look. taking pictures. saying yes. less typing, more reading. festivals. fiestas. traveling. exploring. learning. loving.

ranting. which i am i going to stop doing right now.

cassandra's dream

Last night I saw Woody Allen's new film "cassandra's dream". I jumped at the chance at seeing Collin Ferrell and Ewan McGregor on the same screen. It's about 2 idiot brothers that have absolutely no common sense and are accomtomed to getting themselves in economically compromising situations. Collin Ferrell is a hot, worthless, alcoholic, sensitive mecanic. he's easily made emotional and takes plenty of aspirin to contain his migraines and codine so his thoughts won't keep him up at night. Ewan McGregor is the seemingly charming brother. Goodlooking and has street smarts that make him appear educated. He "borrows" nice cars from his brother's shop to charm ladies on the wknds. He falls in love with this actress thats totally self absorbed. Their rich uncle Howard comes to their rescue when Collin's character gets 90 pounds in debt due to gambling and Ewan's character gets cocky about possible investments in california. There's just one catch. To get the money, they must dispose of one of Howard's ex-friends. Check it out and let me know what you think. I realized I thought Collin Ferrell was pretty good in the movie and usually he sucks. I think it may be bc he probably is pretty much the same person as this guy. Emotionally messed up alcoholic with bad relationships and drug problems. sounds about right. they just finished wrapping up the most recent Woody film here in Barça. I'm pretty stoked to see that when it comes out.

clase

They make it super hard to go to class here. I have 2 core classes that are only people in my program and then 2 university classes with normal students. All my classes are in spanish. My core classes are super easy. We just analyze literature I've already read and the teacher talks super slow cuz the class is full of morons. I have this awful habit of answering rhetorical questions. she'll be like comprenden?[you know what i'm saying?] and I'll be like the only person that says anything and I'll be like "Sí". Or I just say one word things really loud. Like she said imaginario and was like I think you have a word like that in english and i was like IMAGINARY. I swear I have torrets or add, or both. Everyone in my spanish classes is so good at paying attention. The spaniards are always completely focused on the prof. I'm focused for like 10 min, then I'm drawing, humming, pull out a book I brought, playing hangman, tapping on the desk, counting ceiling tiles. it's ridiculous.

I like my first lit class bc its 20th century and we learn about good writers like Lorca & Cernuda. we have to read a novel that I'm actually kinda stoked about. my 2nd lit class is on hispanoamerica lit. I feel really bad for our teacher. We still have our american ways but we're trying to adjust to spanish educational norms. For example, in Spain class always starts about 15 min late, you can't eat/drink in class, you're expected to participate and do more than you are asked etc etc. she's from El Salvador and starts the class on time everyday. shes super nice and obviously prepares a lot for the class. No one participates and it is SO BRUTAL. I wish she would just resort to calling on people. plus, the lit has been so boring thus far. it was poetry translated from the aztecs and mayans. basically every poem was about feathers, birds, leaves, god, sacrifice and blood. it all meant the same thing= they love god.

My other classes are intense. I'm taking La Diferencia Sexual en La Historia and Etnologia Regional. La DS starts the same everyday, she saunters in wearing the same entirely black ensamble she was wearing the day before and asks "¿QUE ES LA DIFERENCIA SEXUAL EN LA HISTORIA?" Everyday people shout BS and weird theories they have about things. They question the existance of gender, feminism and domestic violence. I could not make myself go to class today because this one chick who is like 40 (like the rest of my class) always argues with my teacher for the entire duration and I'm sitting there thinking WHY DID I COME. Unfortunately, Karli told me I missed on a bad day bc she showed the class a film of a man giving birth. YES, I said man. Karli said no one in the class flinched and the teacher had a straight face the entire time. I don't think they know it is not possible or maybe we're all zapped by aliens. I have no idea. It's probably better I missed it tho bc I have this horrible habit of laughing while crying and not being able to stop. My regional ethnography class is basically anthro of the iberian peninsula. Our teacher is super sweaty and weird. She just recommends other books to read the entire time and this guy that is 80 with a cane sits next to me. she started coughing really hard one day and said if someone didn't give her something to suck on fast she'd have to cancel class. the entire class fell silent. we were like SCORE. but then some chicks arm shot up and the prof grabs her tin of mints and shoves a handful in her mouth. I'm not bringing my candy to class. I spend most of the class playing hangman with karli and looking up spanish swear words and laughing.

So basically class is a time for not talking about anything relevent to what you are reading or learning. I kinda miss going to lecture in the US where it was actually interesting but I'm thankful Spain is making my life a little easier so I don't have to be stressed. I hope this blog isn't boring but for some reason I wanted to write about it.

new hit counter

visit the ecommerce website design page.

las 13 rosas

picture caption: the original 13 rosas

Last night I went to the movies with hillary and marc to see this film I heard about. They have a cheap night once a week here, its called "dia del espector" and I go like practically every week. Anyways this movie was super intense. It was about 13 republican (left wing) anti-facist women executed during the civil war that was being won by Francisco Franco. Instead of fleeing like most republicans, they stayed and fought. They didn't want to give up on Spain. It is a true story.

A lot of people don't realize that Franco's dictatorship was practically at the same level as Hitler or Mussolini. He killed an estimated 1 million people, had concentration camps and was known for his cold brutality and torture. If you didn't put your arm up and sing his chant you would be beaten or even killed. The beginning details what it was like for anti-facists, communists and specifically educated women. I cried so much during the movie but it was really good and I highly recommend it if it comes to the states. Spain has only had a democracy for 30 yrs since the death of Franco in 1975 and has changed dramatically. It's a country with a lot of history and lot of secrets. This movie is making an effort to show what really happened.

incite

totally not related to spain but Incite, the magazine I co-founded and write for at Irvine, was featured in the New U (our campus paper) which is über exciting. check it out homies - http://www.newuniversity.org/showArticle.php?id=6146

digestion is sexy

So my first encounter with this was in Cádiz. We were watching a movie called "Dias de Futbol" (which I recommend) and the whole time one of the characters was sucking on these packets. we didn't know if they were like candy, drugs, liquified ham... it could be anything. we ask our teacher about it and he says they are basically indigestion medicine like tums that people basically suck on like lollipops in spain. For some reason your stomach doesn't like every single meal consisting of fried fish, fried eggplant, fried ham/cheese concoction (that is delish), and some bread with mayo on it. weird.

Then I move to Barcelona and decide to do some grocery shopping. Based on Spanish assumptions, It appears I have fabulous intestinal movement because every single item I bought at the store showcased fiber content and how it's great for digestion. I was even reading my camomile tea box to make sure it was completely herbal and it says it helps with digestion. I'm like good god, this people LOVE to digest. The cookies even have it.

There's some odd obsession with weird dieting. They think turkey is super healthy (cuz its not chorizo) and its a big product at organic & vegan markets. They love yogurt and it all has bifidus activus or whatever in it so it will aid digestion and apparently if you don't see results in 14 days you get your money back. Milk products are huge here but not milk. they put preservatives in it so it lasts for like 3 months and people only use it occasionally. I go thru about a liter a wk and I think Isabel thinks I'm a ridiculous dairy lover with all my milk, yogurt, eggs and cheese. Supposedly spaniards don't get enough servings of fruits and vegetables so they have this little bottles of juice about the size of a yogurt that contain 3 servings of fruit. it's pretty intense. Also they LOVE special K here. They sell the special k bars at all the vending machines and have posters/billboards everywhere that say "para la mejor línea", basically you'll look hot if you eat them.

so this blog is really random but I just thought I'd share some weird observations.

la granja & epiphanies.

This wknd we went to our friend Marc's farm. About 12 of us went up. Our gracia gang, marc, and some of hillary and ross's friends traveling from Madrid. His family is catalan and has this place about an hr and half from barcelona. it was seriously such an awesome wknd. Getting away made me realize why I chose to go abroad. The farmhouse is from the 1600s and has been in his family for 100 or so. It was crazy seeing things that were hundreds of years old, there was so much history to the place. When we got there we go inside to see ours rooms. He has like 7 bedrooms in the place? It's huge. we went outside and the lady that runs the place for his family, maria, had made pasta for us and set a table outside. then after lunch we went up behind his place to his pool. it seriously looked outta pan's labyrinth bc there were all these dragonflies everywhere and its just up in the mountains and absolutely gorgeous. It was so nice just sitting back, sipping wine, talking and not having to worry about things... just relaxing and enjoying ourselves. Time went by so slow and we couldn't believe it was only 9pm when were sitting down to the awesome dinner prepared for us. we toasted marc with cava and had a dance party in his dining room. we found heirlooms...like some kinda horn which we all tried to play at some point in the night. I think I ate enough sausage this wknd to last me the rest of my life. we all woke up this morning (resaca-less, woo) but desparately wanting coffee. we used like the nestle coffee that dissolves and it was very sad. maria came in and was like "[translation] is that what you call coffee? don't drink that. I will make you coffee." She made me cafe con leche and then told me that she thinks she should give the boys lessons on how to drink bc they have no idea. Me and deja concurred.



Honestly, it was so cool seeing things that had stayed in their family for 100s of years. In the US we're constantly updating, hiding the past, renewing...linoleum to tile, tile to marble, station wagon to mercedes. We worry about what brand our watch is and how much time we have til we have to work tmw. Being there we could just live in the moment. Imagining Maria's life seemed like out of a story book. it's so simple but why not live like that. each day just living, enjoying each moment. I don't feel like in the US we really live. This wknd made me realize how proud I am of myself for doing this. Deep down I was sorta terrified. Even the decisions I've made in life haven't been completely my own or unknown. I knew what to expect from college, from moving out, from growing up. I didn't know what to say when I decided to learn new languages, move accross the world and be on my own with people I've never met for an entire year. But I have to say it was probably the best decision I've made thus far in my life and I know it's going to shape what I want to do and who I want to be. Being here has made me realize I want to be one of those people that does what they say they want to do. I don't just want to dream. Life isn't always easy, you can't always have fun or get what you want. I know that. But I do know you can prioritize. You can say... seeing the world is important to me so I will teach english in europe. I will save my money. I realized its possible bc you meet people from the states everyday doing that. you realize that they are the people that actually did what they wanted to do. they were okay with being confused about life, but they didn't settle. I like to write, I like to take pictures, I like to learn. Maybe I can write travel books? haha I don't know. But I'm hoping to figure more things out. Anyways, this wknd was really good. I'm looking forward to more like it. Hillary's friend Vadim had a nice camera and I'm gonna steal some of his pics once he uploads them. until then, hasta luego.

i heart DiR

So I've felt like a fatass lately. We walk everywhere but I feel like the food and the drinking is giving me a gut. I finally caved and joined a gym which I am SO STOKED about. gyms here are crazy expensive and weird. I got a deal of 39 euro a month (roughly 56 USD). Usually you pay 50-70 euro a month here which I cannot fathom. I guess it is a luxury we take for granted in the states. plus you have to pick a timeslot. I chose morning which is cheapest, 7am-1pm (but they don't know when you leave muahaha). They hand me my card that says Noia (girl in catalan) Joanna Clay and a gym bag that says DiR and thats how our relationship started.

Today was my 1st day and I was in awe. European gyms have it DOWN. I could live there. I go with my friend Deja and take a look around. Besides the normal shit...they have a pool, JACUZZI, SUNDECK, sauna and an apple machine. Yes, an apple machine. It has individually wrapped apples, green or red, take your pick. man, these europeans are healthy. we decide to run on the treadmill before the pilates class I'm forcing Deja to go to with me. I ran for the 1st time in probably 4 months and was surprised I didn't pass out. I was going to put money on me just eating shit after 5 minutes. I think maybe european air is better. So I'm on the treadmill and I look and it has a button with a TV on it. I press it and my screen turns into a TV! I'm like ohhh shit. I could get used to this.

Then we go to the pilates class. it has already started and this oddly muscular man with a headset on is leading it. I'm used to really small slender woman who just do shit and you copy. he's actually walking around the room and checking people, making sure they're doing it right. I'm starting to get scared. I walk in making a shitload of noise cuz my legs are still twitching, I have a blister and I'm just naturally retarded. It's like the guy learned pilates in America bc he did the same shit as Mari Windsor (I have all her tapes) but just made us do it super long and slower. He seriously made us just like flop our legs around for an hr. Randomly like at the end of class he puts this music of rushing water and everyone closes their eyes. I feel so freaking foreign cuz I have to stare at people to know what is going on. So I close my eyes too. But whatever, it was relaxing.

So that was amazing and I plan on going as much as possible. I really think I could spend the entire day there. run, pilates, swim, jacuzzi, read, layout, shower. ah. and they have those little tv's and apple machines. my life= complete.

rocks y dalí

So I'm writing this way late but forgive me because you love me. Last friday we went to see these greek and roman ruins in Empúries, this really cute city on the coast of Spain right near France. Me and Hillary decided once you've seen ruins, you've seen 'em all. Just to let you in on a little secret... they're just ROCKS. I know I know, you're banging your head on your desk now upset about this conspiracy tour groups/western civ classes have been leading you on for years. I explain this to my friend Yael and I'm like "who the hell likes this shit?" and shes like "I DO" and she's like "Joanna you are an anthro major for crying out loud". I'm like "yael, I do not study rocks." I study topless women, hallucinagenic drugs, tribal dancing, monkey behavior...NOT ROCKS. lets get that straight. So me and hillary create a far superior activity than listening to our german tour guide butcher the english language. Really, I think she made half those words up. They were not german and definately not english. All I remember is her standing next to a penis carved in rock and telling us to touch it for good luck. I was like I'm sorry German lady, I don't trust you. Then I walked away.



Anyways, back to our activity. You know when you're looking at statues and shit and you squish it from far away with your fingers so it looks super small? Yeah well we starting doing that but squishing rocks gets boring. So I'm like how funny/really fucking stupid..would it be to squish random foreigners? and Hillary is like uhh soy down. so there is this random dude holding a map and she does it. He totally catches on. I do it again 10min later. He basically thought we were huge freaks. After walking away from the tour, staring at some rocks, & squishing tourists we decide we really should take a break so we decide to get some coffee.



So we get back on the bus and are on our way to the Dalí museum. We stop at this hotel in Figueres where our coords have planned a really sweet lunch for us. We eat some wierd sausages, salads, bread, and paella accompanied by endless cheap wine. After our meal they bring over decanters with really sweet sherry. People misinterpret the decanter as some sort of sippy cup which only perpetuates our awesome reputation as the classiest most cultured people ever. They wrap their napkins around their necks, chugging sherry, chanting, taking pictures. I decided to be sophisticated, sip my sherry and hold a bottle of red wine hostage so those fools didn't steal it.



So we get to the dalí museum with about 30 drunk people and guess who is the first person we see? that weird tourist we were squishing at the ruins! he walks by is like "hiii gerls" (hi girls) and I'm like OMG HILLARY, ITS THE GUY. awkward. The dalí museum was probably one of the raddest places I have been. I wish I knew more of what was going on in his head but I pretty much imagined the most gnarly shit and I think I was close. The lip couch thing was so amazing. you climb up this thing and everything comes together as a face. I think it may be Mae West. it was insane.

fiesta de la mercé

La Mercé is a famous festival in Barcelona celebrating their patron saint, Sant Jordi (st. george). It basically is an excuse to do fabulously dangerous things, skip work, drink too much and live with no regards to the next day. I'm a fan.


This is correfoc. translation: run with fire. we get there and there is this huge explosion (picture). I guess that is perfectly normal. this is the point where I thought I was going to die. Also, it is normal to dress up as a terrorist, covering your head with cloth and wearing goggles. It was probably completely PC of us to make bombing jokes. We're not that close to madrid.


this is when we decided to run to the sides as to not be burned alive. at this point I am hiding on the ground with my arm in the air trying to get good pics. I was pretty much stuck between 2 eighty yr old women. pretty hot.


This is the mtv show at forum. It was AMAZING. I saw like 3 acts. 2 on saturday night and 1 on sunday. I think the first I saw was Femme Fatale but I'm not sure. I also saw Cassius and Deluxe. All were awesome and I got super close, like touchable status. If you look on my flickr you can see that there was literally 1 million people there. Not even kidding. We randomly ran into poeple from irvine. they could tell we were american (who could guess) and were talking to us and had graduated from UCI. one girl was super chill and had studied here, went back and graduated and then came back to spain to work. I'm like hmmm, buen idea (parents- don't freak out).


Font Magica at Montjuic/Plaça Espanya. This is this amazing fireworks show that lasts for about 40 minutes and is synchronized with music. They played everything from the Beatles & Rolling stones to Avril Lavigne & Beyonce. I took about a million pics which all look about the same. Here is a pretty descent one.

observaciones de barça

- all their detergent commercials are women are standing over balconies instead of washing machines.
- kids are so much cuter when they speak catalan. gosh, who taught them that?
- their sitcoms look like they were taped with a store bought camcorder.
- dogs are people too.
- everything abandoned in the 90s is so in here. dreds, mullets, neon, fanny packs, aerobics. you name it, they love it.
- there's never a bad time to eat chorizo.
- milk lasts 3 months.
- people appreciate graffiti.
- Rhianna's "Umbrella" is their favorite song.
- my keys also unlock the secret garden.
- biking makes front page headlines.
- just saying words is not enough. you must use hand gestures/be overly animated as well. for ex. when isabel showed me how to use a sink (americans are retarded) she made squirting sounds for soap and this "plop" noise for sticking things in the sink. I didn't so much remember how to clean as much as get depressed about how uninteresting my basic functioning is.

more to come soon...

en la ciudad de sylvia

So today we saw a movie at the theatre by my place. It was amazing. Probably the best movie I've ever seen. I ask Hillary what it is about cause I had a bit of a resaca and didn't want to do anything. She's like oh its some romantic thing, it says "un chico mira a una chica, y a otra, y a otra" (a boy looks at another girl, and then another etc). Usually there is like a paragraph discription on every movie but this time there is a sentence. She's like he's probably just into a lot of chicks. I'm like fine. So the movie starts and its this guy in a hotel room just sitting and staring super hard at nothing. I'm convinced this is a scary slasher movie and I'm going to have a brain anurism or something. So he sits there for about 5 min and then it pans to a cafe where he is staring at women and intently sketching them while drinking like 5 beers. I turn to Hillary and laugh "hey wouldn't be hilarious if he literally is just looking at one girl and then another for the ENTIRE movie?" It wasn't funny and he did. Actually he saw this one girl that he decided to follow. At first he has this look on his face of like "ah I wanna talk to her" but just sits at his table and we're like OMG MOVE. and finally he did. But the camera chose to stay at the table instead of following which I found interesting. So for about 40 min of the move (that is 90 min long) he is following this girl he thinks is "Sylvia", whoever that is. Finally after walking behind her smiling and breathing down her neck... he decides to talk to her. In the movie this is over the span of like 3 hours. He finds out she is not Sylvia. He walks around. Hits on a coked out girl in a bar and ends up sleeping with her. She wakes up with him staring at her with super intensity like he's on meth or something. I felt bad for the people around us because I spent about 80% of the movie laughing histerically saying things like

"I WONDER WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?
WOW, SURE GLAD I TOOK A NAP OR ELSE THIS WOULD BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE ONE I EVER TOOK.
THIS IS THE LONGEST MUSIC VIDEO INTRO WITHOUT MUSIC I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I WONDER IF HE IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC.
WHAT IF SYLVIA IS A TRANNIE?"

Next time a movie only has a sentence discription I am not only going to take it literally but also realize the lack of description might be because there is NOTHING to describe. The nice thing about it was that he only says the equivalent to about 2 sentences the entire movie. Mostly "gracias" and "no" so not much to be lost in translation. Also the sound was pretty intense. Like the girls footstoeps would be super loud but then you couldn't hear his. Lots of bottles would break or fall randomly. I was coming up with some analysis and thought how it might be like how life's monotony is interupted with brief suspenseful meaningless things to show you how meaningless your life is. a little depressing. anyways. Or there was this african guy selling lighters and you could always hear him selling to people but can't hear the people's conversations. weird. Hillary isn't allowed to pick a movie for at least a month.

tossa de mar

So we decided to go up to la costa brava on monday. We had the day off and we were supposed to go to San Sebastian this wknd but we went to the train station on friday and there were no seats left on the bus. we were super bummed and had to cancel everything. So yesterday we wake up at 8am and get down to the train station to take a 10:15 bus to Tossa de Mar (it's not "del" cuz its catalan). As we're boarding there is this super creepy indian dude like staring at us. He's like prob 65 and harmless but a wierdo nonetheless. He's wearing leather shoes which have playboy bunnies on them. We get on the bus and he tries to get girls to sit next to him by patting on the seat next to him and saying its "free" even though we all have tickets so obviously theres going to be seats for all of us. He gets booted out of his seat bc his is 7 and he sitting in like #20. Instead of moving to 7 he just moves a few up. A british girl sits next to him and me and alex immediately groan, wishing she would just instinctually move away from him. Luckily he passed out and stopped being so creepy but I really wanted to just punch him in the face for being sucha wierdo. Hillary is sitting by herself accross the isle and then an overweight woman comes and sits next to her. She passes out and starts to fart a lot. Hillary is trapped against the window.

We get there and are so stoked cuz its this adorable beach town. We chose like the perfect day, weather was great. We get to the beach and sand is literally tiny rocks. The more you walk barefoot the more you feel like skin is peeling off your feet. We decide to jump in the water which is about 0 degrees. It was soooo cold. And theres like some random wave that breaks and tourists were like freaking out and jumping and falling in it. It was seriously half a foot. After taking an ice bath and losing sensation in my feet we decide to go get our grub on. Hillary wants paella so we go find this cafe and sit down. oh wait, we try to sit down and the guys says no. He points to the back at this tiny table in a corner. Apparently they really didn't want people to know we were there. I don't think they even knew we were there because getting drinks took about 15 min and then food (which they got wrong) came in 45 min. My shrimp had actual eyeballs that I decided to pull out with the shrimp's claw because I didn't want to touch the thing. After all my hard work and having come to terms with the fact I was eating an actual animal, I couldn't eat it and gave it to Hillary.

We get back to the beach and passed out. What seemed like 40 years was actually only 20 minutes and we woke up rejuvenated. Alex bought these wierd ass sunflower seeds that are roasted in BBQ sauce. She and hillary spent about 20 delirious minutes throwing the shells at pigeons (that Alex called penguins) who after about 1000 shells still didn't get the idea that there was nothing there to freaking eat. Then we got distracted by this adorable couple (she says sarcastically). The guy probably weighs about 120 lbs and his gf... well she was large. She proceeds to mount him from behind kinda putting him in a headlock with her butt. As we started crying laughing I immediately scrounged for my camera for this memorable picture.


We decide to start moving and go walk up the pathway to the tower. We discover Tossa has this sweet village hidden up on the hill. I've never been to Tuscany but I kinda imagine it to look something like that. I felt like I was on the Truman show or at Disneyland. I couldn't believe people actually LIVED there. It was just too cute. I was convinced everything was staged and everyone was hired actors. After taking about 100000 pictures we decide to head back down, waste some time and get back on da bus.

There were these REALLY obnoxious americans on the way back. Honestly, I really find it rare to see any American tourists that make the US look desirable in any respect. They butcher the spanish language, act like idiots and wear fanny packs/nikes/denim shorts and oversized tees to an extent that should be punishable by law. I know my spanish isn't great and my accent makes people think I'm joking but seriously... these girls. a creepy indian/pakastani immigrant decides to hit on her and let her speak spanish for the entire duration of the trip. I say "let" because really this girl will finally have that law finalized we've all been waiting for that will make it illegal for certain people to do normal basic funcions, like talking for example. let me break it down for you (spelled somewhat phonetically to make my point clear):

translated: So do you like it here or los EEUU more?
UMMM, ME GUSTA LOS ESTADOS YOU-NIDOS. SI SI. ES MUY DIVERTIDO. ESPANA ES MUY... DIFERENTE.
what are you doing here in spain?
YO ESTUDIO, ESTUDI..ESTUDIAR...ESTUDIO?..ESPANOL EN COLEGIO
vale. you're really good at speaking spanish.
AH NAH. NOT REALLY.. SOY. NO?.. WHATS VALE?
vale is like "okay" in spanish
VALE? BALE? BALY? VALLEY?
vale. So I like your blond hair. All the men will like you here 'cause you have blond hair. It's different.
HEHE AW NO PORQUE?
bc its different.
PORQUE?
bc people don't have blond hair here. we have brown hair mostly.
SI SI SI.. SI SI.

"don't swim with the jelly fish"

So we FINALLY went to la playa today. Yesterday we meant to go and Hillary set her alarm for noon so we'd wake up and we wake up at 3:30 pm and are like ummm WTF. I was genuinely bummed. But today we actually DID wake up and it was a beauuuutiful day.

The beaches in Barsa are a little wierd... the sand is like dirt. I don't even think its real sand, its like imposter sand. it gets wet and literally turns to mud. Also men walk around yelling FANTA, CERVEZA, AQUA Y COKE so loud and they like cross paths and you literally just want to yell and be like NO I DON'T WANT A FREAKING FANTA GRACIAS. I think if I go to hell they will be there chasing me around trying to force luke-warm drinks down my throat and then charge me 5 euro. Also, there is a plethra of temporary tatoos to chose from if you have the urge. A man asked if I wanted one, I said no and then he continued to say that "you look very good today", man he knows the way to my heart. I wonder if he's single. On another note, supposedly los barcelonés didn't even go to the beach until after the Olympics. They like totally re-did the city down by the ocean and have that huge fish designed by Frank Gehry staring at the water.

Anyways, I'm like totally stoked to get in the water so me and hillary are running full speed in. I'm swimming and all of a sudden feel this like prick on my leg. I'm like ah uh hillary I think I got stung by a SHARK! She's like "well can you move it?" and I'm like yes. So apparently no one had to pee on my leg and it didn't bleed or turn red or anything. So we get out of the water and have ourselves a shwarma. In case you don't know what a shwarma is they are these delicious pita pocket things filled with meat (sorta like gyros) with sauce, lettuce and tomatoes. They might be able to fulfill my lusting for burritos/tacos temporarily.

As we're laying on the beach we hear over the loud speaker (in about FIVE different languages): "when you go in the water, please do not swim with the jelly fish. please stay away from the jelly fish". Yeah thanks for the advice. I just really wanted to swim with them. But I'm okay, I think he was kinda just tapping me...not so much stinging me with poisen.

i talk thai

So living in spain has made me realize how much I love the food the good ol' US of A. I salivate at the thought of cheeseburgers, hot dogs, chinese food (HONEY WALNUT SHRIMP OMG), pad thai, sushi, chicken noodle soup, garlic (strange I know), REAL yogurt, REAL bananas... the list could go on forever. So determined as I am as a connoisseur of comida I was sure I was going to find some authentic asian food in Barcelona. I looked up sushi places on the web and found a place in Barri Gotic that was apparently a pretty good, family owned, hole in the wall japanese restuarant that was reasonably priced.

We get there and find out that there are 2 "cycles". you can make reservations for either like 7 or 9 and if not, you don't get a table. With some haggling we stood/sat on 1 barstool between both of us at the bar. The lady pretty much hated us until we helped her do some translating with the idiot french people next to us, who then gave us their space. Apparently the spanish work ethic of "you'll get it when I freaking feel like it" has translated to the Japanese immigrant population as well. Unlike in the US when you order miso soup and a rainbow roll where the miso soup comes and about 15 min later the roll does... in spain one person gets their roll, you get your tea, then your soup about 40 min later and then 10 min after that...everything else. I've gotten so used to it that by the time my stomach is turning over and I feel like eating my edible looking placemat... I'm pleasantly surprised with her amazing gift to me (which I'm actually going to pay for) and feel like I've been waiting for it all my life. I can't describe it but I think there is a method to their madness. All in all the food was not that amazing and I probably won't go there again but hey.. 1 down (probably only about 10 more to go). However, one exciting thing was that while we were sitting at the bar the lady came over and poured us sake. I was sick and hillary already had a beer so we were like oh no thanks its fine.. and she's like oh no those men over there ordered it for you. And we're like whaat? free sake? alright. I turn around to see who it is cuz I figure we should probably be nice and like smile or do SOMETHING so god forbid we don't have to talk to anyone. I'm like "hillary, thats so wierd. I think that gay couple bought us the drinks...?" and shes like "..are you sure?" and i'm like well they're the only 2 men sitting alone AND they're exactly where she pointed. I had been staring at this couple for a while because i was POSITIVE they were gay and I thought they were kinda cute. I mean the guys were sitting there sipping on a bottle of wine, smoking while they eat, legs crossed, dressed well, eating SUSHI. okay, so I guess they're just european. Also they were right by the door to the kitchen which I was pretty much staring at salavating the entire duration of our meal (or lack therof). So turns out us STARING at them might have been misconstrued.. as interested? weird. They came over to us and tried to get us to go to a bar that was "super chulo" which means really cool but we decided not to head off with the gaystraight men.

However, today was a success. We went to this thai place like about 5 minutes from our residencia. I really wanted some soup and someone told us this place had good soup and pad thai. We walk in and sit down and it looks pretty normal. I immediately was giddy upon reading the menu and not seeing the words JAMON, PAN, QUESO, ACIETE DE OLIVA all over it. The words coconut, noodles, shrimp, satay, vegetables.. filled my heart with joy. We ordered thai tea, chicken coconut soup and pad thai. The guy that owned the place was definately not thai. I think he was middle eastern and he definately did not know spanish. We spoke some beautiful spanglish that also reminded me of home. Exchanges such as "you wood like numba 31?" si si, trienta uno. "you wood like chopstick?" no, está bien. gracias. He was cute. somos amigos. I told him the food was really good and I think he was very excited. I want to go back again or just work there and pretend to be thai so I can get free food.

siento como mierda

so this past week I've been really sick. I think it was probably my body's way of saying SCREW YOU because instead of resting/eating/sleeping/working out/eating healthy or doing anything rational we instead decide to go out drinking/dancing every night. I finally decided me and my body should be friends, not enemies. I have become best friends with the legal drug dealers around the corner, aka pharacists. I went in about everyday this week with a new array of symptoms. I'm pretty sure they either think I'm a hypochrondriac, addicted to over the counter medicine, or just mentally retarded. I have about 3 different types of pills, cough syrup, something to stick in my nose, and some wierd powder I dissolve in water. The greatest part is everything is written in catalan/spanish/gibberish so basically they could be giving me rat poisen/heroin, but hey it works! the 2nd greatest part is all those things together cost me about 20 euro! thats right, cheapest drugs en el mundo! you're celoso. Also, spain has this anti-viral kleenex. I don't know. I guess my life has gotten to the point where I get excited about those things but hey it says it kills 99% of germs associated with colds! thats exciting. But anyways I feel better now. I guess the interaction of all those things made a perfect concoction that has made me feel wonderful. gracias a dios por las drogas.

ps. translation: "siento como mierda"- I feel like shit. Probably my most used phrase this week.

tengo piso!

picture caption: from my balcony in gracia

So for the past couple weeks me and hillary have been looking at so many apartments. We were doing a lot more than everyone else. i mean I bet we saw like 10 apts and some people are just starting to look at places this week. We saw places that were just so freaking wierd. Okay so hillary was interested in this one that was w/3 spanish girls. The girl invites us in and we're like "oooh okay, you're an 80 yr old woman in a 23 yr olds body". No joke, her apt was seriously disturbing. it was all white lace and ugly beige furniture, wierd stuffed animals, pictures of small children & random shit made of [fake] gold. The worst of it all was a framed picture of a CAT on the wall facing what would be Hill's room. The cat was looking longingly over its right shoulder at the camera. The lady didn't own a cat.

Another she was interesed in was with 2 chicos. We walk up and its in a nice building in gracia. they show us the room which consisted of a makeshift table handmade by their gifted hands, a light bulb from the ceiling, a mattress with sheets tossed haphazardly on it (probably one of those designer techniques, makes it more homey or something). Another was with this man and woman in their late 20s. The room they had for rent was overlooking the patio which sounds nice but SUCKS. the "patio" is in open area in the middle of building where people like hang their clothes to dry and usually theyre stove is like right by there so it smells. its all grey, dark and murky looking because theres not that much natural sunlight. People think they're really smart by putting pics up of their nice living rooms and stuff and then basically showing you a clean closet to live in. no soy una idiota!

HOWEVER, I found a sweet place. it was actually on a list given by the school. she's housed a UC student for the last 7 yrs or so. Her name is Isabel & is in her late 30s, early 40s. really nice. I wanted to live with like young girls so I could make more spanish friends but I think this is the best for me. She told me she'd teach me how to cook spanish food! and I'm gonna try to get her to speak like catalan with me for an hr a day or something. Her apt is really nice too. it has a balconey and has a good layout considering the buildings are so densely compacted. it has tons of natural sunlight which is really unusual. Plus its decorated cute and stuff becauses shes older than 20 and permanently lives there. I'm gonna totally justify the massive amounts of money it costs to go out with my low cost of rent. Spain is so cheap to live in. they think its expensive and like their jaws almost fall off their face when they hear that people pay as much as 700-900 for a room in Cali. Here the most you'd pay would be around 500 euro (681 USD) and usually thats in like the really residential ritzy area and you're usually getting a loft area or studio instead of just a room.

Me and Hillary found Isabel's place together and she mentioned that her friend Rose might have a place. So we went over and she has 2 dogs that are super cute. One is like some kind of herding dog mix and the other looks like a black lab. She has a really nice place with a legit patio (not the gross kind) thats like covered outside with outdoor furniture and everything. Hillary was looking for a while and really wanted to live with younger people but the places just werent that nice. Isabel and rose's places are like in a really good part of Gracia which is like this funky bohemian neighborhood that we love. they are known for like really good hole-in-the-wall places, funky bars, boutiques, international food and their famous festival every august. Hillary decided yesterday to take rose's place and its cool cuz they're like a block from eachother so we can walk to school together most days and stuff.

euro saaavy.

picture caption: ratatat

so this past week I seriously have converted into a "barcelonés". tuesday was this girl in our programs birthday and we all wanted to go out. a friend from back home told me about this club called "up & down" and we decided to go. it was like a 20 euro cover charge but you get a free drink and champagne. we get in and we're like where is everyone else? and deja (birthday girl) is speaking in portuguese to some brazilian guy, bc apparently everyone can speak freaking portuguese, and gets the rest of the group in FREE. so next time I'm walking in with HER. the club was so awesome tho, i mean its like better than anything I ever saw in cádiz. it was like a lounge and had like rooms with sofas and stuff to hangout in and then a big dance floor with a dj in the center of the club. it was walking distance from our residencia. so we were there til around 4am and then woke up at 8am for class. worst 5 hrs of my life.

wednesday we had a "mellow night" and just went to a local pub to watch the fütbol game. apparently barsa won 5-0, I wasn't really paying attention at all bc sports (on tv) are boring as hell. haha. lo siento. Thursday we went to this bar/disco called Alfa, its smaller and has no cover charge and apparently plays a lot of US 80s and 90s hits (like everyother club here). I don't know what it is with Barcelona and; Jet, The Smiths and The Cure. They are obsessed and its wierd bc (besides Jet) thats not really music that you can dance to all that well. It's more like post-breakup crying music. But whatevs, apparently spaniards can shake it to anything. We tried requesting music, which I guess is a total euro faux pas but we didn't learn that until the 6th time we requested. YO QUIERO ACE OF BASE, YO QUIERO MADONNA, YO QUIERO WHAM. Yeah I'm pretty sure they love us here.

Last night was probably the best so far. We went to this club called Razamatazz. It's supposedly one of the best clubs in Barsa. It's a 15 euro cover charge, all the time and they had ratatat (US indie band) playing there last night so it was totally worth it. They have like 5 floors and each has a different theme. I seriously almost touched the lead singer! but i didn't want to cuz thats wierd.. haha. I got super close and they had this gnarly fog machine that almost suffocated me. Oh and my hearing, thats shot. I talked to some norwegian guy that asked me for the ONE HUNDRETH TIME if the OC is really what it seems. he mixed it up a bit by asking "does your fatha sport a moostache n' boss everyone 'round?". I'm like um no cuz the show is not real... I think I wanna be a Mischa double so I can have some meaning to my life.

barceloneta

picture caption: passeig de gracia. no relation to this content.

So last night we went to "la barcaloneta" which is by the beach. supposedly the clubs there didn't have a 15 euro cover charge like every other place. So we get there and find out we need ID which is code for "you have way too many guys". We realize every place has 2 entrances, street and beach. So we decide to head down to la playa and try to get in. We get in to this one place called Shoko...? Its like sorta asian looking and has super cool outdoor lounge seating right on the sand. they're like huge couches. We get some drinks, which cost like 5-10 euro but we got over it cuz it was free to get in. We go in and dance for like an hr and a half and then it started winding down. So we try to go next door. the people there SUCK. first we can't get in cuz people had like outside drinks, then we try and the guy is like NO and I'm like are you serious? our friends are right there!

so we try at like every entrance and after thoroughly embarassing ourselves we decide to get a cab home. theres like 5 of us and the cabbie doesn't wanna drive us cuz we're over capacity. and we're like noooo its fine, here we'll hide stacy on the ground! no te preocupes! and he just shut up and drove. we ask him to put the music on blast and we start like asking his life story and where he is from. We're like having a dance party in the car and he starts busting out dance moves, it was awesome. turned out he was from Granada (in Andulucia) which explains why he was so chill. supposedly everyone got jacked going home and charged like 25 euro. we got charged like 10 euro for the ride and tipped him.

we come back and are hanging out downstairs in Jim's room, just chillin and ramon (doorman) knocks on the door telling us we need to be quiet. So we're like oh ok lo siento and then go up to our room and hangout and listen to madonna, not even loud. he comes by twice and then sends the guy that is like the official boss and he tells us hes going to put us on a plane back to the estados unidos and call the police. we're like what the hell. it was so insane. so we're like si si, esta bien. and go to sleep. i was hoping I didn't snore or anything, he might have that plane ready.

güell... if you insist.

So today we had an excursion around Barcelona. I assume because Barcelona tries to make your life pretty difficult... we're not going to get lunch (unlike Cádiz), have to walk/metro it instead of a bus (unlike Cádiz), it will be extremely painful and debilitating (like in Cádiz). However, I was presently surprised. We walk up to find sack lunches, 2 buses and this nice guide that speaks in an accent I can perfectly understand.

We start el dia with a trip to one of gaudi's buildings/residences "La Casa Milá" or also known as "La Pedrera". I didn't realize how long ago it was constructed (1906) and how it obviously stuck out in the city which was originally very traditional. Being a risk taker, Gaudi started the trend with Modernism that to this day marks Barcelona as one of the most modern cities in the world. It wasn't until the early 80's with Juan Carlos I in power that they started to really model other countries like France. Apparently, Spain has always wished Barcelona was more like Paris and there has always been a little envy/competition there. It wasn't until the 1992 olympics that Barcelona even had a significant tourism industry. Before that, Españoles were known to keep to themselves and be pretty culturally ignorant. We learned a lot about how buildings were constructed. For example, there were no elevators back then so the rich owner of the building lived on the 1st floor. Thus, the 1st floors are usually larger, have more balconies and are better lit. The best part was the roof (check out my flikr) which has all these crazy sculptures and head things that look like ninja turtles. They say Gaudi was a big predictor of the future stylistically but I also think he knew that they would be hugeee in the 90s.

After that we got back on da bus and headed over to La Sagrada Familia. We were all stoked because we thought we'd be able to go inside and check out the insane staircases and fear for our lives. But no, it was too packed with tourists so our guide suggested we go in December when there are less people so you don't have to wait in the hour line to get in. So we chilled outside and took lots of pictures. There's really random people there that think they are talented. There was this guy on stilts that was singing radiohead songs on guitar. Even on his cig break, he remained on the stilts. we had various reasoning for this such as "maybe he is a midget and is embarassed due to his false heighth", "maybe he has some disease and can only walk on stilts", "maybe he has no feet" etc etc... However, one of my favorite parts was going around to the back. oh fun fact: front of la sagrada familia features the birth of jesus and kinda like his journey...as you travel to the back you get to the passion and resurection. Apparently the order is because sun comes in from the east which is where the birth is facing. Anyways, we're walking around and we see these dogs. My favorite is wearing a sweater, hat and goggles. He procedes to jump on the back of another and try to create more children which makes my entire group grab their cameras and start taking pictures rapidly. I think he liked the attention because that made him more determined to tame his lover.

After discovering that La Sagrada Familia is not all that special we get on the bus to go to Parc Güell (pronounced "well", hence the title). The place is insane. All the architecture is so organic and amazing. I almost don't want to call it architecture because that sounds so rigid. It was more like free flowing ceramic walls? haha. I really wanted to take a picture with the ceramic gecko, which is muy popular. I get over there and EVERY FREAKING SPANIARD cuts in front. I'm like ummm MI TURNO. and they keep doing it! so finally I just stand in front of this guy as his gf is gonna take a pic b/c personally i don't even care if he is behind me. I want my picture with the freaking lizard. So I'm smiling cheesily and his gf is sarcastically like "gwow, que simpatica", basically calling me a bitch and I'm like dude.. get outtta hurr! but anyways. So we grab some must needed coffee that cost me an arm and a leg.

When we decide we can move our legs once more we head over to Montjüic (pronounced monjweek) where the Fundació Joan Miró is which is a museo dedicated to Miró and houses most of his work. It was pretty cool. Miró basically painted a lot of stuff that looks like absolutely nothing. It's like a blob and he calls it a woman 'cause she sorta has boobs.. but they could also just be like the moon or like random circle...taking note that they are completely detached from her body. He also had this piece with umbrellas coming out of it prompting my friend Karli to say "what? he has all these umbrellas and I don't have one. I just wanna take one of thoseee." Probably the radest thing I saw was this mercury fountain made by Calder (an american and friend of Miró). It's completely surrounded by glass so people won't die. I took some cool pics of it.

well that's all for now. Bona Tarda! (I'm trying to practice my catalan)

barthalona

picture caption: my residencia- collegi major sant jordi.

Bon Dia!
So I made it to Barcelona in one piece. I've been here for almost a week now. We left on Saturday morning after a very long night of goodbyes and partying on the beach. We get to the train station as the train is leaving. we're freaking out and were going to take a cab to the bus station when the cabbies tell us for 60 euro they will do the 1.5 hr ride to sevilla and guaranteed we'd get there quickly. Bus or train= 2 hrs. I now realize it was an extremely good call because my bags are like 60k each, I'm like smuggling small children. I made a best friend on the plane and regret not exchanging info. She was from Serbia and was studying in Spain and had crazy stories of like lizards in her bed and like living on a roof. She was crazy.

Our residencia is so modern and different from cadiz. you don't have to worry about falling out the shower here. The doors close and there isn't mold. you don't have to put your bath products on the rim of the toilet and reach over mid-shower. However, I still miss my room in cadiz. it was just homier. I miss the lady that sang "strangers in the night" outside my window every afternoon with her accent that made the english language indistinguishable. It's also really weird because there are so many people here. Like 82 or something? We have the program with U of Illinois in Urbana Champagne..? I guess its the main campus. I don't think the chicago people really like us all that much. They give us the half smile and look the other direction. We shall see.

Yesterday it rained so freaking hard I thought I was going to die. I wake up and its like 65 degrees or something and my apple widget says it will be sunny. WRONG. It starts pouring. I'm wearing this cotton dress (that luckily I don't care about) and rainbows (which become completely disgusting). During break I use the hand dryer on my entire body and head. The only upside was because I was wearing less clothes than most people, I was less wet so I actually wasn't that cold. It stopped raining (gracias a dios!) at lunch so thankfully we could get a freaking cup of cafe.

After school me and Hillary went to go look at an apt in gracia. Gracia is this bohemian, racially diverse, cute neighborhood in northern barcelona (above Eixample). The apt was all euro ikea'd out and we'd be living with this spanish girl that was really cute. she reminded me of my teacher macarena with her slouchy pants that reveal young boys underwear and random face piercings. She's some kind of teacher and also studying at UB. She's like 23 and has studied in the US and seriously has seen more cities/states than I have. We really hope to get the place cuz its in a really good area but we're gonna keep looking. it's hard to find places before sept because everyone in europe is on holiday for the month.

Last night my friend Steve, who has been traveling through Europe, came by to visit. Weird seeing someone from the states. We went out dinner (first time) on las ramblas in Gracia. We ate at a pretty touristy place but it was really good. The tapas were like 3-5 euros each and we had like 4 or 5 and then we got Sangria. Turned out the 2 pitchers of Sangria was like $35. They jacked us on that. But it was my one touristy dinner for like this year so I don't really care. aha. We were sitting there outside and had a view of one of the Gaudi apartment buildings. Also, there was this tree that had a hole in it that mice kept coming in and out of. We thought it was really adorable and for some reason we were not grossed out at all. We were in pretty good spirits. And then we took the metro to the festival going on this wk in Sants. It was dying down but we got to see a drum circle and some cool street art. We're gonna head back this wknd when its better.

I haven't been able to see much. We live by La Zona Universitaria and Pedralbles. It's about 15 min via metro from las ramblas (center of town). its in a nice area, really residential, where like all power couples live because a lot of HQ's are in pedralbles. Tomorrow we're going to see la sagrada familia, parc guell, gaudi buildings and a tour of gracia. I'm really looking forward to it and hope to have some awesome pictures for you guys cuz I know I'm slacking.

Adeu!

10 reasons I miss Cadiz

1. I could see la playa from my window.
2. Being regulars at Yupi, el alijibe, Balandro, Woodstocks, O'Connells, y la punta.
3. Wine served at every meal.
4. Lola calling me guapa every morning even when I looked like I was hit by a car.
5. I almost fell over/died in my shower daily.
6. People were finally starting to understand me. Now they don't even speak spanish.
7. Drinks didn't require me selling my soul for 10 euro.
8. Peter's superb poetry.
9. Having absolutely no purpose in life.
10. Macarena, Antonio y Inma. Mis amores.

ultimos dias en cadiz

So thursday night we had a flamenco fiesta. Everyone that has been taking lessons performed and the comedor staff made sangria and really good tapas. Inma (our director) came over and made me put flowers behind me ears. It hurt pretty bad but I guess beauty is pain. She looked pretty stunning in her red dress, beer in one hand, cig in the other. I really wanted to capture her essence and take a foto with her but I forgot my camera. When girls would try to get more Sangria the comedor staff would look at you like you are a horrible person. They don't like when girls drink anything, I guess water is okay.

Friday night was our last dinner and we had it at this place called Arte Serrano. It was really nice, kinda had a tuscan feel to it. When we walked up to the 2nd floor Inma showed us our table. It fit about 40 people and was against a window facing the ocean with a complete veiw of the sunset. The tapas were are laid out with bottles of wine. it was SO good. best meal. I pigged out on the tapas so much that I forgot we had an entree and barely touched it. Tapas we had; rollitos de salmon, fish ball things that were amazing, chorizo/jamon serrano con queso, these fish eggroll things. I really like my description. Then our EAP UC director Peter, who is a huge idiot (no joke), wrote a poem about like EVERYTHING. I guess it was in Spanish but no one really understood what he was saying. Inma just smiled. It's awkward cuz he was only there like 3 of the 30 days we were there. He didn't even know my name, how can he write a poem about us?

Anyways, so after that we head to these bars on the beach. They are the ones that pierce brosnan is drinking a mojito at during Die Another Day. They're tiki huts on the sand and are super cute, you totally feel like you're on vacation or something haha. They're known for their mixed drinks like mojitos, pina coladas, cuba libres but they have everything. We were there til about 2am and then walked along the beach til 3 then caught a cab back to la residencia. Leaving me with about 3 hrs until I had to wake up for our Barca departure.

voodstocks

picture caption: moon at twilight. not at all applicable to what I am writing about.

So on thursday night we went to this bar called woodstocks. It is named after Woodstock and has Lennon, Morrison, Bob Marley and other people from the music festival all over the walls and stuff. Keep in mind Spanish people have no idea who they are or what Woodstock is. Someone was asking our teacher Macarena about woodstocks and she was like "yeah its named after someone or something.." You ask for directions and you're like "hola, sabes donde esta woodstocks?" you get blank faces so you start pointing and spelling and they're like AH EL VOODSTOCKS and we're like ah yes THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE SAID.

So we were hanging out there and notice that this group of spanish people next to us that also live in the residencia. So we decide to chat with them and practice our espanol. The 3 girls were around 15 and then there were 4 guys- 20, 25, 17, 12. I mistook the 20 yr old for the father of this "family" because he looks like he's 40. The 25 year old was pre-maturely balding. We figure out they are in this music troupe and are performing in Cadiz. They're orginally from Valencia and have this wierd accent where you do not accunciate any word and basically sound retarded. I realize I can only understand the 12 yr old kid named Raul so he immediately becomes my new best friend. I was joking with him because everyone was drinking beer (1 euro beer night) and i was like "te gustas cervesa?" and he's like nooo, no me gusta cervesa [insert scrunchy ew face]. and I'm like oh que te gustas? and he's like wodka. and i'm like VODKA? and he's like si si, me gusta vodka. I'm like holy crap. So this kid is drinking vodka with fanta and his musician friend thats 20 isn't drinking. I ask him about it and he said he's given it up. So in spain I guess you start when you are ...born? and then give it up sometime around legal age.

Jim, who's in our program, is totally talking them up and all of a sudden he is like cursing REALLY LOUD and me and hillary are like what the hell? Jim was teaching them how to say bad words in english but instead of just saying it, he decided to point at us and actually act like he was mad to show when you use the word I guess..? that was his logic. So I'm talking to the girls and they're saying who all the americans look like; ben looks like adrian brody, hillary looks like a girl in a spanish ad, mateo looks like ron from harry potter... and then they're like "do you watch the program, the oc?" and i'm like yeah. They're like "you look like the girl on there" I'm like thats funny, i'm from orange county. and they start SCREAMING because they thought I meant I was Mischa Barton. But then I was like "nooo nooo the city the city" and then they're like oh and then start screaming again. I was like oh my lord, they're insane. When they think a guy is cute they yell GUAPO and slap their faces. when they're wrong they hit themselves on the head really hard. everything has an animated arm movement to go along with it. I'm surprised they're not completely bruised all over.

Speaking of espanoles, so there are actually 2 churches outside my window and there are like a few weddings a week. When they drive up they are always in a mercedes and have flowers on the door handles. They honk to this song (that I don't know) like really loud and drive illegally all over the cobblestone. Then after the service they take pictures on the cathedral steps and shoot off fireworks. One time it was at the church to the right of my window and I was looking outside and the firework was right below me. I was sure I was gonna catch on fire or be decapitated, either one.

pues, eso es todo yo tengo ahora. espero que tengo mas cuentos en los ultimos dias que vienen. hasta!

I want a banana skirt

So it's either write my 7 page paper on the anti-bull fighting movement in spain, or blog. I'm choosing blog.

So recap of la semana pasada. Saturday we were way tired from the night before. I'm still getting used to leaving clubs at 4am and people saying GOD, IT DOESN'T EVEN GET GOOD TIL 5. We went to this really good tapas place right by the water. We had brie/ham stuffed peppers, chicken/sundried tomato/cheese salad, 4 cheese veggie ravioli and tinto de verano/tinto to go around. All for 35 euro. It was so good. Then after we went to the movies to see Odette Toulemonde, a french movie that was absolutely hilarious. Odette, the main character, starts floating whenever she is happy and will randomly burst out into song sounding sorta like Edith Piaf but I guess itrs Josephine Baker, she says she has some "negro adentro". One scene while they are on their holiday at the beach her gay son puts on a skirt made of fake bananas and starts dancing with her. Pretty much the best moment of my life. Also, I guess domestic abuse is pretty common in Europe (how great..) and to make a commentary on it a woman comes into Odette's cosmetic section at the department store looking for some stuff to cover her black eye. Odette of course exclaims at the sight of the woman's face and the lady explains that it was a door that hit her. She comes back in through out the film and finally Odette says "You are a very pretty woman, you mustn't let your door treat you that way. There are many better doors out there." Point taken, Odette. All the movies here are dubbed because I guess Franco ran out of ways to ruin peoples lives and decided he would make it illegal to NOT have movies dubbed in Castillian. However, I understood about 85% of it which made me feel pretty good about life. One of the characters is a young boy around 8 years old. I swear he was dubbed by a woman. That poor kid is gonna be on holiday in Spain and hear a 40 year old woman's high pitched voice coming out of his mouth and question his existance in the world. I mean you're already so vulnerable at that age.

Some more movie trivia. Apparently the last [Pierce Brosnan] James Bond movie "Die Another Day" was filmed here in Cadiz. Cadiz and Habana are supposedly like one of the only 2 cities that look exactly the same in the world. So they pretended Cadiz was Cuba for the movie. The part where Halle Berry is getting out of the water is at Playa de la Caleta. I watched it on youtube and you can see the castle in the background and the boats. Also, they're drinking at a bar that I walk past all the time. Supposedly there is some car chase also but I couldn't find a clip of it.

So the food sucks here except at restuarants. I'm like dying from the comedor. Plus, I haven't been eating much because I had bad milk on Monday and didn't eat anything but liquids for 48 hours. Andulucia is huge on fried food. They have places called FRIADORES and ALL the food is fried. AND its considered a delicacy. Jamon cocinado is what they call how we prepare ham. They think its really wierd that we would have that on a special occasion. They're like "we'd use that for sandwiches but NEVER for dinner". HOWEVER, the helado (ice cream) is AMAZING. There is this place at Plaza Mina (down a couple blocks) and it has the best by far. Chocobanana, fresa (strawberry), moro de cadiz (choc cherry) y melon son mis favoritos. When you take a bite of melon, it tastes like a melon...but better. It's incredible. I'm pretty much living off of it.

So another fun fact. While researching for my paper online I learned about this bull that survived a bullfight because he fought the picadores 24 times. They saved him and mated him to like 70 cows so his lineage remains. His name was Murciélago and Lamborghini named their car after him. I also learned that Spain has only 2 inventions to its name. The Chupa Chup (which are way better here) and the mop. If you took off the lollipop because its basically just a brand, they didn't invent the lollipop, then you are just left with mop. I feel so bad for Spain, a country that at one time had been at the pinacle of progress and wealth has just slowly declined since. I mean we probably have like a million inventions a year, they have 2. They should claim ownership on the siesta, they'd make BANK.

well I GUESS I'll go work on my paper since I don't have this as an excuse. Hasta Luego!

ham cheetos...mmm

pic caption: me & hill at yupi w/yupi. he's so guai.

So I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been slacking but seriously blogging is one of my favorite hobbies so I won't forget about you.

So on Sunday we went to see "Los Simpson, la pelicula" and it was pretty amazing. However, I was sad homer didn't say jaja instead of haha. Movie theatres are so much cooler here. It was like 5 euro (which is like $6.50) to get a ticket on the wknd, (usually its like 3.50) then you walk in and they have a candy shop INSIDE the concession area. you can buy candy by the pound or just like chocolate bars. Choice of drinks: fanta, water, coke, BEER. yes, I said it. Spain even lets you drink in the movies. I know you're thinking this is the last straw, you just need to get on a plane and get over here. So I sit at my sit and I'm like so confused. Is this a new theatre? Theres no litter on the ground...no old man/taxi cab smell...no sensation of body lice as you sit on the seat. It was so freaking clean. I was amazed. So I've decided I'm pretty much hanging out there everyday. Hey it was cool in 7th grade right?

I've been talking to other people in summer school and they're like "YEAH god doesn't it suck to be in school, classes are hard.. I can't concentrate bleh blah bleh" and I'm like well today Macarena told us which discotecas to go to and what beer to drink, and then in Culture class we learned some common foul language. It's pretty hilarious. I also love their teaching methods. Macarena acts out EVERYTHING. Someone is sad, then she starts fake crying. someone runs their bike into a tree, well she jumps on that invisible bike. She says there is some day in Cadiz where everyone is supposed to dress in caracter (like superman ,spiderman etc), its called Dia de los Freakys haha. So she immitated this spiderman kid she saw by jumping around the room pretending webs came out of her hands. We asked Macarena if she would take us out one night and she was like "ah si si claro que si" but apparently she's booked til like the 10th, after that its fine. hopefully she can lapiz us in.

So yesterday we went on our weekly excursion. We went to the beach city of Tarifa which is the southernmost part of western europe, about 7 miles from the coast of africa. When we went there was this thing they call EL VIENTO (the wind) which is african winds that are super strong and basically pellet you with sand so hard you think your skin is going to fall off. So that means we can't go to the beach, AS PLANNED,and will spend most of the day on really really exciting walking tours with a man named Alfonso that has this interesting accent that not even Spaniards can understand. Then we took the bus over to Bolonia (pronounced like Italy's Bologna but not). There they have these ancient greek ruins of the city Baelo Claudia. I put pics on flickr which have some discriptions. I found it on wikipedia because at that point in the day I had no idea what Alfonso was saying anymore.

So on our way back we start to slow down and I look out and see traffic. And I'm like ah god but I'm from Southern California so like 10 cars at a stop isn't earth shattering to me. Apparently some semi got its freight disconnected from its bed and it hit a car. I don't know. But as we were sitting there for about 25 minutes or so I notice something really interesting. All the spaniards get out of their cars. (Well either that or pull u-turns that somehow do not clip your car.) They walk over very angrily, wearing their linen capri's and flip flips, and look over at the accident with this face of "I hope you know you are making my life very difficult" then walk back to their cars, walking AROUND their car (not getting in) as if loitering is really going to intimidate people, and then they get on their phones and start ranting. I was like "CAN I GO OUT AND LOOK?" I just wanna fit in.

We get back and decide to go straight to la playa which means a stop at Yupi, pur fav general store to stock up on some water, chips and juice. I decide to pick up a bag of cheetos and as I pop one into my mouth I'm thinking "this is not cheese...". Nay, very true to their roots these cheetos were ham flavored. Honestly, Spain only has 3 flavors for all chips; olive oil, bbq and ham. It will say different things all over the bags; cheese, tomato basil, plain...but no, it always tastes like 1 of those 3. I still ate them tho, ham flavor isn't all that bad.

Well I'm gonna take a siesta and then go eat at our fav tapas restaurant. It's like euro-asian fusion and its SO GOOD. it's like the only place I've seen in spain that cares about presentation, the food actually looks good when it comes to you versus the usual that looks disgusting but if you keep eating it enough you start to like it.

Besitos y abrazos!

rabbitland

So I've realized that when Spaniards go to the beach, they go all out. There is no such thing as embarrassment or having any sort of shame. It is important to get as much of your body as tan as possible. I think they have some sort of quota. But the last couple days my atonishment has grown to admiration as I realize I will never be able to be a true "indigena". As you sit back, lather on spf 50, officially being the whitest person in Spain...you look around and notice that every person larger than a fetus is wearing a thong. Toddlers are tanner than I am. I think the men are jealous because the closest thing they have to a thong is a speedo. So as they layout they usually hike up their shorts/hot pants/speedo so it is practically a thong. I mean come on, who has tan lines?

On Monday we went to this Irish pub called O'Connellys. When we walked in Bon Jovi was playing and everyone was speaking English. I felt like I was in a parallel universe. When you asked the bartender for a drink and asked "cuento cuesta", he would answer back "ONE EIGHTY". For once I did not feel like a foreigner in Spain. We could sing along to the songs and sound like we actually spoke the language, we could pronounce New Castle and understood what the English signs on the walls meant. My friend Ryan was so stoked on the place that as we were leaving she said "I LOVE AMERICA." I had to remind her that we actually did not travel back home and that we're still in Spain. She was okay with it but I felt bad dampening her exhiliration.

Speaking of Ireland. I am so pissed I can't go there. I just looked at my visa and they only granted me a single entry which means I can't enter the EU more than once. Inma (my director) said its on a lottery basis. IT'S SO UNFAIR. so if you know any ways to beat the system or have any passports that could pass for me, let me know. I'm also really sad 'cause we were planning a trip to Morocco and now like 80% of the group can't go b/c we were all granted single. NO ME GUSTA.

Last night we went to a club to meet up with our intercambios. Intercambios are students from the English dept here that we have been practicing Spanish with. Going into ULA ULA I hear the Beach Boys but I decide to ignore it. Someone just probably hit the wrong button, or maybe they're being nice and letting someone slightly disabled to work the stereo. I can be patient. But as time progresses, the Beach Boys turns to Jerry Lee Louis and then to the Archies. I can't have much more of this. Just because I am American does NOT mean I am stuck in a time warp of jittering, shaking and twisting. At that point I thought it couldn't be much worse. Then comes the Texans. About 30 girls walk in to this 15x15 room all screaming UM PARDONNN PARDONNN, YO QUIERO UN CHUPITO. A chupito is a shot, Spaniards don't take shots. They're all wearing shorts so short they probably could be mistaken for underwear. They take over the bar, hitting on every bartender (man or woman). I take a deep breath and decide to not speak English for the entire night so as not to be confused as being from the same continent.

So my grammar teacher's name is Macarena. Like the dance. She is my idol. I wish I could be as cool as her. She comes to class in blue high tops, saggy jeans that have zippers and elastisized ankles. I don't think any of the women here wear bras. Ever. I've come to the conclusion that they must feel restrained or something and being topless is just pure liberation. I'm keeping mine on. She is hilarious. William was like falling asleep and she starts teasing him asking him if he's tired, what he was doing the night before etc. He says he only got 6 hrs of sleep. She says maybe she saw him last night cuz she was up til 3am at the discotecas in town. I think we should hangout with her. She seems more fun than half the people I met. She also thinks its really funny to question people's genders and basically call you a trannie. Everyone messes up on feminine and masculine nouns so she also uses that way to jest you and ask if you've had an operation. Most people look at her in horror. I think it's awesome.

In culture class Antonio taught us all about Spain. I only know about 1/3 of what he said because it is so freaking hard to pay attention. We play this jeopardy-like game at the beginning of class to review the stuff we know. VOY A GANAR (I'm going to win). It's been difficult. I keep getting to the last 5 or 6 and then the people that don't ever answer a question end up winning bc they're the only ones left standing. I've decided I'm going to buy a luchador mask and use anonymity and pure intimidation to get rid of my competition. To define my blog title for you, I learned something really funny. Apparently the greeks or phonecians or something... named Spain "Hispania" which directly translates to rabbitland. I guess when they came here that was the only way to distinguish the land because it was full of bunnies... that or they are just really really mean.

So today we went to the museo (I posted pics on flickr). Sad to say it was the worst four hours of my life. The 1st museo (which I thought was bad but had no idea what was coming) was full of oil paintings, cannons, furniture and a huge replica of Cadiz. After that we go get some coffee and get on a bus to go to San Fernando, a nearby pueblo. The Museo is called Museo El Dique. Dique translates to dock which we found out later. As we approach what looks like some kind of factory or plant, we just assume we're lost as we had been for the last 20 minutes. Gosh Antonio, you messed up. But he gets out and a guide gets into the bus and escorts us into a parking lot. We soon discover we are getting a tour of a naval museum. The coolest part of the entire thing was this little townish thing. Mini church, mini school, mini hospital. We went in the church and I took pictures, it was really pretty and crazy how detailed and ornate it was for just being on a naval base. The musuem was full of oh-so-interesting widgets, bolts, wooden replicas, blue prints and other items that made me jump for joy. The fact that I had gotten only 4 hours of sleep before this tour from heaven never occurred to me. As we leave and go toward some port looking thing we are staring in the water and totally entertained with these fish. As we are innnocently bonding with nature Antonio tells us these are Majones. What are majones you might ask? Can you eat them? Well Majones are SHIT EATING FISH. Yes. So I took one thing out of this excursion; Finally I have a new way to insult people. I'm so calling Hillary a majone when she's mean.

estoy una extranjera

So on friday we went to "los pueblos blancos". I was like super stoked because I thought it would be really quaint and beautiful. I guess it was but the 4 hours there and back made me way over it. We went to this mill on the way back though. It's one of the only mills left in Spain. I bet there is a lot more information but honestly all this spanish has made it hard for me to think in any language. Spanglish is probably best right now. Anyways, so this father and son taught us how to make bread and that was pretty fun. Then we stopped off at a tapas bar to like have a drink y chillar and Inma (our director) brought us our bread to eat on the way home. I swear Inma thinks I'm a huge freak because I was leaving the bathroom like after having some serious problems operating the plumbing and trying to find soap/towels. So I walk outside flapping my arms, tired and tripping over myself and she just looks at me while chainsmoking and says "joanna...estas cansada?" I'm like basically thats code in spanish for "you look like shit" hahaha.

So the groupo decided we should try to venture out to the new part of cadiz. The part we live in is called "las calles antiguas" and is mostly occupied by old people. So me and Hill had some wine while watching the catedral practice for the crowning of the virgin. (You can see the pics on my flickr. Look for really ornate stuff in the background.) On our way we find this billiard bar called "memphis" and we start hanging out with this local kids. They're like 16 and look like their 25. Me and hillary were trying to figure out how to sound less american. Apparently (Californians especially) use too much inflection and their voices go up and down a lot. I thought the best solution is to mumble but then they're like QUE? and I'm like ah crap. So we to la discoteca and we find out they won't let the guys in b/c I guess they have a really bad male to female ratio & plus we were all wearing sandels. So we went to this other bar and I swear it was a brothel or something. It was all really unattractive men and scattered women in their 30s. I don't understand it. But we hungout there for a while and decided to venture back, realizing it was already 5am. Estoy "over" las discotecas.

So last night we decided to just look for some hole-in the-wall places by our residencia. we found this really cool bar thats really small and they have dancing at 12-3 or something. Everything is blacklighted which sounds super trashy but its not. They have cool white paintings on the walls and it's just really quaint & mellow. I think we decided thats our fav spot now. We went with the group last night to another discoteca by our university and it was so wierd. The theme was "excalibar" and there were like wierd torture chamber instruments along the walls. The bouncer/manager came out to convince us to come in and we realized that usually means the place sucks. There was like a 10:1 guys to girls ratio. The guys in cadiz no son guapos. They all have rat tails or mullets and are way trendier than I will ever be. I'm looking forward to going to bed tonight before the crackass of dawn and getting some sleep. I'm not excited for waking up early but we have time to go to the beach everyday after class so its like motivation. I'm gonna take a nap since I have some more siesta time.

muy guay

So after missing flamenco twice, I'm thinking god is politely asking me not to dance.

Today was my first day of school. We got to talk to other students studying english the last couple days. It's pretty interesting because I feel they are way smarter than I am. The school system is so much different than the US. If you drink, eat, talk, yawn, stretch, or slouch you're pretty much kicked out of class. Theres a lot more respect between people. The teachers are really chill. They're more candid, less judgemental and more amicable. The students had these really funny ideas of how America is. They were suprised I went in the water because everything they see on discovery channel talks of sharks off the coast of california. She was shocked that my meal of choice was not hamburgers and french fries. Also, many are scared to visit due to gun laws and the how easily one can possess a firearm. Dude if I thought everyone was fat, got eaten by large mammals and carried deadly weapons I would totally stick in my country which sells cruzcampo cervesa out of vending machinesand forces you to take a 3 hr nap.

On a side note, it's really interesting looking at the Iraq war coverage in EL PAIS (Spanish newspaper). The country and the students specifically are so knowledgable and aware of what is going on in the world. I mean Iraq is like page 6 compared to Palestine/Israel, French elections & domestic issues. It's really interesting. I wish people in the US were as passionate about their country and more open-minded and cultured about global events and perspectives.

So I went shopping today with Hillary and we went to this place that sorta looks like forever 21 and H&M put together. I pick up this purple sparkly thing and realize, SON PANTALONES. I was like oh my god. I want these. Haha. They were like knit leggings made of metallic purple and had snaps going up the sides. The clothes are a little ridiculous but not as crazy as you'd think. Since we're by the beach they love color. You get come silver nikes (or fake havianas), yellow hot pants and a red tube top and you're good to go. I don't know if I can keep up. Es muy deficil.

Manana we go on an excursion to los pueblos blancos. Its a really well known city in Andulucia and all the homes have the Greecian white washed walls. It's supposed to be really beautiful so I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. However, I am not looking forward to waking up at 7am. No me gusta.

PS. guay means cool. es muy guay, si?

fiesta siesta

So I totally love siestas. Who doesn't love eating and then taking a 2 hour nap? Spaniards have it down. Plus, cafe con leche is like the equivalent to 2 bucks. its like 1.5 euro. And its realllyyy good. Also they're really into tinto verano, its just wine with fanta but its actually really good. its kinda like red wine champagne. Our location is so awesome b/c not only is it beautiful but we have a restaurant, bar, and cafe all surrounding our dorm. So during siesta we can just go sit outside, have a coffee, walk along the beach. yeah, you're jealous.
Today we signed a contract that we can't speak spanish on unversity grounds. Which I thought would be super hard but its been fun. We're totally sounding like idiots and probably no one else can understand us but it's made me so much better in one day. I'm already starting to think in spanish, someone says sports and im like ah deportes. its wierd.
I've been counting mullets, so far I've only got up to 10 which is really disapointing. We went to la playa de caleta today for siesta. It's so beautiful, its actually that picture I have up with all the boats. I was expecting more speedos but surprisingly a lot of guys wear boardshorts. Then we had a walking tour that lasted 3 HOURS. seriously, we start at 630 and got back at 930. It doesn't get dark here til 11 and its so wierd. I think my legs are going to detach from my body. Anyways, we're getting flamenco lessons like once a wk for the month which I'm totally stoked about. Apparently it's taught by a transvestite which I am equally excited for.

hasta luego!

primera dia en cadiz

So today is tuesday which means I have been here since yesterday morning. I have to calculate it in my head because I have absolutely no concept of time. It took almost 24 hrs to get here and until last night I hadn't slept at all so I feel at least partially awake now. The planes were okay, me and my friend Cassie toasted the free wine we got on Iberia, America should seriously take a lesson from them. But actually they are really slow and spanish people clap when you take off and land which I find really entertaining.
Cadiz is beautiful. When we got off the bus we honestly were like speechless. It's all cobblestone streets, tree-lined streets, beautiful parks and the beaches have palm trees. Sorta like home (but better). Just for some trivia- Cadiz is the oldest inhabited city in the Western world, it was founded by the Phoenicians in 1100 BC but some stuff dates back to 800 BC when they first got here. It went from their hands to the Carthaginians who then signed it over to Rome and then finally Castellian King Alfonso X got it & turned the mosque into a famous catedral.
I'll upload pictures when I get a converter for my camera charger today but I'll put one up I found online. But anywas, the people are super nice. It's funny actually talking in Spanish. Like I didn't really think about too much. I've had a few miscommunications but they are funny so its ok. For those of you that care about food, well the dorm food kinda sucks. It's like pollo, carne or pescado and then ensalada y pasta. but the ensalada is like chopped iceberg with tomatoes, corn and endives (? we don't really know) haha. My room tho is pretty nice. I have my own room with a bathroom. The bathroom door doesn't close due to mold (yeah, beautiful) but its ok. haha. that's my answer to most insignificant dissapointments. The view from my room really outshines any possible irritation. I can see the ocean, the catedral, the central plaza and later in the day musicians come and play outside my window. It's like out of a freaking movie. Everytime I look at my window I just stare. I never imagined a place this beautiful and I never imagined I would live here.

me echo de menos,
joanna